Advent and Epiphany

I thought I would research these lesser-known Christian holidays coming up since I don’t know much of anything about them. Unlike Christmas and Easter, I could not find pagan customs that had been incorporated into these holidays. They are part of the Christmas story – Advent is sort of abstract and meditative while Epiphany is more concrete, celebrating the visit of the three kings.

The online Oxford English Dictionary states that the word advent entered old English from the Latin adventus ‘arrival’, from advenire, from ad- ‘to’ + venire ‘come’. The advent of something or somebody means the coming of an important event, person, invention, etc.

Guess what important person is coming in about a month? Jesus Christ! So the month before his birth is a time of hope, faith, and anticipation.

The Advent Wreath must have been the source of the wreaths that we place on our front doors. It’s made of various kinds of evergreen branches and decorated with pine cones, which symbolize life and resurrection. Pine, holly, and yew branches symbolize immortality, cedar strength and healing, and laurel victory over persecution and suffering. The wreath itself, like all circles, has no beginning or end and so signifies the eternity of God and the immortality of the soul.

The wreath is sometimes placed on a table, and four candles are added, one for each week of Advent. One of the candles is lit each Sunday.

The first candle, which is purple, stands for hope – the anticipation of Christ’s birth. It is sometimes called the “Prophecy Candle” for the prophets who predicted the birth of Christ. The second candle, also purple, represents faith. It is called the “Bethlehem Candle” because that was Christ’s birthplace. The “Shepherd’s Candle” is pink and symbolizes joy. (The third Sunday of Advent is Gaudete Sunday – gaudete means “rejoice!” in Latin.). The fourth purple candle, the “Angel’s Candle,” symbolizes peace. “Peace on earth, good will toward men.”

Advent calendars are only about 150 years old. They were first made of wood, in Germany. Paper calendars were printed between 1900 and 1910, and the little doors were added in 1920. Behind the doors were Bible verses; chocolate did not appear until the late 1950s. I noticed this year that there are even Advent calendars for dogs!

Skipping over the winter solstice, Yule, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day (see Yule/Winter Solstice – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/yulewinter-solstice/), we come to Epiphany on January 6.

According to the online Oxford English Dictionary, the word “epiphany” comes from Middle English via the Greek word epiphainein, “reveal.” On this day, Christ was revealed to the three kings, who found his birthplace by following a star.

January 6 is the twelfth day after Christmas. Twelfth Night is the night before and is marked by feasting and wassailing. In Europe, some form of Kings’ Cake is eaten throughout the twelve days. It’s a rich cake with candied fruit and chocolate mixed in.

Some Satanic groups still celebrate Old Twelfth Night on January 17. The date was changed to January 6 in 1750 when the Gregorian calendar was adopted and some dates on the Julian calendar were reassigned. The Julian calendar is still in use by parts of the Eastern Orthodox Church. 

Googling did not tell me how Satanic groups pervert Advent, and I have no memories of those days, so I doubt my group marked them. All I can think of is that the opposite of hope, faith, joy, and peace is despair. Twelfth Night is a time of feasting and wassailing – in other words drinking. I’m pretty sure that it’s an excuse for orgies, with plentiful food, alcohol, drugs, and sex.

~~~~~~~~~~ 

Upcoming Holidays

December

 Sundays of advent: 11/28, 12/5, 12/12, 12/19

 12/4 Total Solar Eclipse visible only in Antarctica. Southern Africa and the southeastern corner of Australia and Tasmania will see a partial eclipse.

 12/18 Full Moon

 12/21 Winter solstice/Yule/St. Thomas’ Day

 12/24 Christmas Eve

 12/25 Christmas Day

 12/31 New Year’s Eve

January

 1/1 New Year’s Day

1/2 New Moon

 1/6 Epiphany/Three Kings’ Day

 1/7 St Winebald’s Day

 1/13 Satanic New Year

 1/17 Full Moon

1/17 Feast of Fools/Old Twelfth Night/Satanic and demon revels

 1/17 (?) Martin Luther King Jr. Day

 1/20 St. Agnes’ Eve

 1/31 New Moon

February

 2/2 Candlemas/Imbolc/Satanic Revels

 2/14 Valentine’s Day

 2/12 (?) Lincoln’s Birthday

 2/16 Full Moon

2/21 (?) Presidents’ Day/Washington’s birthday

 2/25 Walpurgis Day

Dates Important to Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups

 (NOTE: Not all groups meet on Jewish holidays. Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lammas, Halloween, the solstices, and the equinoxes.)

~~~~~~~~~~ 

You can find more information on the following holidays at: 

Thanksgiving – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/11/20/thanksgiving/

Yule/Winter Solstice – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/yulewinter-solstice/ 

Candlemas – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/candlemas/

Valentine’s Day – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/02/10/valentines-day/

Spring Equinox – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/the-spring-equinox/

Easter: personal – (for background, see Spring Equinox) – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2014/04/21/easter-blues/

Walpurgisnacht/May Eve – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/04/20/walpurgisnacht/

Beltane – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/beltane/

Mothers’ Day – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/04/26/mothers-day/ Fathers’ Day – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2020/06/20/ritual-abuse-and-fathers-day/

Summer Solstice (corrected text) – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/06/15/well-this-is-embarrassing/

Lammas – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/category/lamas/

 and https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/august-ritual-dates/ 

Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 1 – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/08/31/the-feast-of-the-beast/

Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 2 – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/feast-of-the-beast-part-ii/

Fall Equinox – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/the-fall-equinox/

 Halloween (personal) – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/halloween/ 

Halloween (background) – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/samhainhalloween/

I’m sorry this is late. I had some dental work done and went into a flashback that went on and on. I was kind to myself, rested a lot, and tried not to pressure myself to do much of anything. I am pretty much over it now.

I thought I would write about these lesser-known Christian holidays coming up. I didn’t know much of anything about them, but they seemed important enough to pervert. Unlike Christmas and Easter, I could not find pagan customs that had been incorporated into these holidays. They are part of the Christmas story – Advent is sort of abstract while Epiphany celebrates the visit of the three kings.

The online Oxford English Dictionary states that the word entered old English from the Latin adventus ‘arrival’, from advenire, from ad- ‘to’ + venire ‘come’. The advent of something or somebody means the coming of an important event, person, invention, etc.

Guess what important person is coming in about a month? Jesus Christ! So the month before his birth is a time of hope, faith, and anticipation.

The Advent Wreath must have been the source of the wreaths that we place on the doors to our houses. It s made of various kinds of evergreen branches and decorated with pine cones, which symbolize life and resurrection. Pine, holly, and yew branches symbolize immortality, cedar strength and healing, and laurel victory over persecution and suffering. The wreath itself, like all circles, has no beginning or end and so signifies the eternity of God and the immortality of the soul.

The wreath is sometimes placed on a table, and four candles are placed on it, one for each week of Advent. One of the candles is lit each Sunday.

The first candle, which is purple, stands for hope – the anticipation of Christ’s birth. It is sometimes called the “Prophecy Candle” in for the prophets who predicted the birth of Christ. The second candle, also purple, represents faith. It is called the “Bethlehem Candle” because that was Christ’s birthplace. The third candle, called the “Shepherd’s Candle, is pink and symbolizes joy. (The third Sunday of Advent is Gaudete Sunday – gaudete means “rejoice!” in Latin.). The fourth purple candle, the “Angel’s Candle,” symbolizes peace. “Peace on earth, good will toward men.”

Advent calendars are only about 150 years old. They were first made of wood, in Germany. Printed calendars appeared between 1900 and 1910, and the little doors appeared in 1920. Behind the doors were Bible verses: chocolate did not appear until the late 1950s. I noticed this year that there are even Advent calendars for dogs’

Skipping over the winter solstice, Yule, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day (see Yule/Winter Solstice – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/yulewinter-solstice/), we come to Epiphany on January 6.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word “epiphany” comes from Middle English via the Greek word epiphainein, “reveal.” On this day, Christ was revealed to the three kings, who found his birthplace by following a star. January 6 is the twelfth day after Christmas.

Twelfth Night is the night before and is marked by feasting and wassailing. Throughout Europe, some form of Kings’ Cake is eaten throughout the twelve days. It’s a rich cake with candied fruit and chocolate mixed in. Some Satanic groups still celebrate Old Twelfth Night on January 17. (The date was changed to January 6 in 1750 when the Gregorian calendar was adopted and some dates on the Julian calendar were reassigned. The Julian calendar is still in use by parts of the Eastern Orthodox Church.) 

Googling did not tell me how Satanic groups pervert Advent, and I have no memories of those days, so I doubt my group marked them. All I can think of is that the opposite of hope, faith, joy, and peace is despair. Twelfth Night is a time of feasting and wassailing – in other words drinking. I’m pretty sure that it’s an excuse for orgies, with plentiful food, alcohol, drugs, and sex.

 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Upcoming Holidays

 

December

 Sundays of advent: 11/28, 12/5, 12/12, 12/19

 12/4 Total Solar Eclipse

 12/18 Full Moon

 12/21 Winter solstice/Yule/St. Thomas’ Day

 12/24 Christmas Eve

 12/25 Christmas Day

 12/31 New Year’s Eve

January

 1/1 New Year’s Day

1/2 New Moon

 1/6 Epiphany/Three Kings’ Day

 1/7 St Winebald’s Day

 

 1/13 Satanic New Year

 1/17 Full Moon

1/17 Feast of Fools/Old Twelfth Night/Satanic and demon revels

 1/17 (?) Martin Luther King Jr. Day

 1/20 St. Agnes’ Eve

 1/31 New Moon

February

 2/2 Candlemas/Imbolc/Satanic Revels

 2/14 Valentine’s Day

 2/12 (?) Lincoln’s Birthday

 2/16 Full Moon

2/21 (?) Presidents’ Day/Washington’s birthday

 2/25 Walpurgis Day

 

Dates Important to Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups

11/29 -12/16 Chanukah/Hanukkah  (Jewish Festival of Lights)

1/16 – 1/17 (sundown to sundown) Tu Bishvat/Tu B’Shevat  (Jewish celebration of spring)


1/12 Birth of both Rosenberg and Goering, Nazi Leaders in WWII


1/30 Hitler named Chancellor of Germany


2/26 Purim (Deliverance of the Jewish people from Haman in Persia)

 (NOTE: Not all groups meet on Jewish holidays. Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lammas, Halloween, the solstices, and the equinoxes.)

~~~~~~~~~~ 

You can find more information on the following holidays at: 

Yule/Winter Solstice – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/yulewinter-solstice/ 

Candlemas – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/candlemas/

Valentine’s Day – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/02/10/valentines-day/

Spring Equinox – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/the-spring-equinox/

Easter: personal – (for background, see Spring Equinox) – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2014/04/21/easter-blues/

Walpurgisnacht/May Eve – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/04/20/walpurgisnacht/

Beltane – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/beltane/

Mothers’ Day – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/04/26/mothers-day/ Fathers’ Day – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2020/06/20/ritual-abuse-and-fathers-day/

Summer Solstice (corrected text) – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/06/15/well-this-is-embarrassing/

Lammas – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/category/lamas/

 and https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/august-ritual-dates/ 

Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 1 – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/08/31/the-feast-of-the-beast/

Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 2 – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/feast-of-the-beast-part-ii/

Fall Equinox – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/the-fall-equinox/

 Halloween (personal) – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/halloween/ 

Halloween (background) – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2011/1/02/samhainhalloween/

Thanksgiving – https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/11/20/thanksgiving/

 

 

More on Internal Communication

There are three announcements after the main part of this post.

~~~~~~~~~~ 

In the previous post, I emphasized the attitude you should bring to talking to your alters, or parts, or inner people, or head-mates. It was pretty general, encouraging kindness and compassion.

Now I’ll get more practical and share some of the approaches I and others have found helpful.

1. Who is your audience?

Start by taking a moment to think of who you want to talk to. If it is a group, do they have different opinions, desires, needs? How long have you known them? How friendly are they to you? What is the age range? This is very important because you want to reach everybody.

Say there is a group of inner children ranging from five to eleven who have all had similar experiences. Tell them you want everybody to understand, and if somebody doesn’t know what a word means, they can interrupt you and ask, and you will explain. Then use fairly simple words. If you talk to the eight-year-olds, the older ones won’t feel talked down to, and the younger ones will understand most of it.

2. Set a time limit

It’s important to have some structure because lack of structure causes unnecessary anxiety. If you have a set amount of time, you can pace yourself and leave time at the end to summarize what you have talked about and thank everybody for participating. If you hope to meet again, say so, and set another time. 

3. Set some ground rules

Keep the rules few and simple. Include “do’s” with the “don’t’s.” Everybody takes turns.  No being mean to anybody else. It’s okay not to talk or to say you don’t understand something. It’s okay to swear and cry and laugh.

4. Make yourself comfortable

Choose a quiet place and bring some things that help make you calm. Bring supplies that the others might want – drawing equipment, stuffed animals, favorite objects. Turn the ringer on the phone off and put on some music, if you want.

5. Talk through to parts that you have not met or that are not available often.

“Talking through” means trusting that parts will hear you even if you cannot see or hear, or even sense them. They might be listening silently as you talk. Or one alter might be reporting what you are saying to them. 

Since this may be happening, whether you know it or not, it’s a good idea to give permission before you start. “It’s okay to just listen and not say anything. Later on, you may feel comfortable enough to speak directly to me.” “If you know of parts that aren’t here now that would benefit from knowing what I will tell you, please let them know what I said. Also, tell them they are welcome to come next time I talk to you-all.” Word the permission so that it is also an invitation.

6. Consider having a recurring meeting.

There are many advantages to having a meeting at the same time every week or every day.

Parts who are shy know that they can always join in when they feel braver. Parts who have gone to a different place internally understand that they are welcome to come back at any time.

If you design the meeting for parts to share memories, you may diminish the number of flashbacks you have during the day. Tell everybody that you have made a special time for them to share memories and feelings. This way, you can give them your full attention and not have to think about anything else. Give them the time and the ground rules. Whenever you feel a flashback coming on or feel triggered, remind them of that special time.

If you feel a lot of ambivalence or internal conflict, you can ask the two main alters who disagree – or everybody who has an opinion on the subject – to come to a meeting. Again, be careful to tell them about the ground rules you have prepared. They are coming to listen to the other person and learn where they are coming from. Tell them that they don’t need to make any decisions; it will just be information-gathering.

7. Meetings to share memories and make friends.

It’s interesting to see how exchanging information can lead to changes in belief and then changes in behavior. I can’t tell you a story about my internal process because my mind isn’t populated with full-fledged alters, so I’ll tell you about an experience I had with a cult-identified alter of one of my friends.

Since my friend was living on her own and did not go home for holidays, this alter had the job of celebrating the holidays on his own. He usually ended up in a psych ward in four-point restraints. He had no inside or outside friends. One day, he was quietly listening to me and my friend’s conversation and gathered I had been raised a Satanist. He came out, and we started talking. We were discussing the upcoming holiday (I forget which one it was), and I found out that his group read the words of the ritual. I was shocked because our group kept nothing in writing. Wasn’t he afraid it might get into the wrong hands?

Comparing our traditions opened up the possibility that there were options, other ways of doing things. We never tried to change the other; we just were curious about what the other thought and did. Gradually, we became friends.

It turned out that he was, or became, more than just his job. He was a poet, and he had tender feelings toward me. He once said that he dreamed of me lying in a bed of tulips. That still touches my heart today. He eventually decided to give up his job without anybody ordering him to or suggesting it, as far as I know. Shortly afterward, he integrated, and I missed him keenly.  

I am suggesting is that relationships, either internal or external, don’t always have to be filled with strife and pain. As parts get to understand each other, they may either agree to disagree or find common ground. Change can happen organically simply by opening up channels of communication. It is so gratifying to know that you have set the stage for growth to happen!

~~~~~~~~~~ 

* I had a brainstorm!

Would anybody be interested in participating in a virtual poetry reading? I’ve been to several in-person survivor poetry readings, and they were very moving and inspiring. 

I could host a ZOOM meeting, but I would need somebody to help me with the technical part.

Let me know if you are interested in helping me, reading your poetry, or attended the reading. Post in the comment section or write me at rahome@ra-info.org.

~~~~~~~~~~ 

* Bryn L. Kroto is a Physician’s Assistant who is writing a thesis at Arizona’s A.T. Still University in the School of Health Sciences. It will be on “…service gaps between Doctors/Physician’s Assistants/Nurse Practitioners and victims of ritual abuse and their families. How can the medical field help connect the dots identifying abuse and foster healing?”

If you would like to meet Bryn, she has made a podcast on “Remembering Truth: Time to Get Real on Ritual Abuse.” https://anchor.fm/bryn-kroto/episodes/Season-2-Episode-5-Time-to-Get-Real-on-Ritual-Abuse-eofq9r

If any survivors, family/friends, or therapists, are willing to be interviewed for this thesis, please write brynkroto23623@msn.com

~~~~~~~~~~ 

I have organized a ZOOM group of survivors whose systems are polyfragmented, or partially so. If you would like to join, contact me through the comments section or write rahome@ra-info.org

~~~~~~~~~~

* You can find more information on the following holidays at: 
Candlemas https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/candlemas/
Valentine’s Day https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/02/10/valentines-day/
Spring Equinox https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/the-spring-equinox/
Easter: personal. (for background, see Spring Equinox) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2014/04/21/easter-blues/
Walpurgisnacht/May Eve: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/04/20/walpurgisnacht/
Beltane: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/beltane/
Mothers’ Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/04/26/mothers-day/
Fathers’ Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2020/06/20/ritual-abuse-and-fathers-day/
Summer Solstice (corrected text) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/06/15/well-this-is-embarrassing/
Lammas https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/category/lamas/
and https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/august-ritual-dates/

Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 1 https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/08/31/the-feast-of-the-beast/
Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 2 https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/feast-of-the-beast-part-ii/
Fall Equinox https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/the-fall-equinox/
Halloween {personal) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/halloween/ 
Halloween (background) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/samhainhalloween/
Thanksgiving https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/11/20/thanksgiving/
Yule/Winter Solstice https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/yulewinter-solstice/ 

~~~~~~~~~~

Upcoming Holidays

February
2/2 Candlemas/Imbolc/Satanic Revels
2/12 (?) Lincoln’s Birthday
2/14 Valentine’s Day
2/15 (?) Presidents’ Day/Washington’s birthday
2/16 Shrove Tuesday/ Mardi Gras
2/17 Ash Wednesday/beginning of Lent
2/25 Walpurgis Day
2/27 Full Moon

March
3/1 St David’s Day (patron saint of Wales)
3/1 St. Eichstadt’s Day
3/17 St. Patrick’s Day (patron saint of Ireland)
3/21 Spring Equinox
3/24 Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan
3/28 Full Moon
3/28 Palm Sunday

Dates Important to Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups
1/30 Hitler named Chancellor of Germany
2/26 Purim (Deliverance of the Jewish people from Haman in Persia)
3/28 – 4/4 Passover/Pesach (Deliverance of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt)

(NOTE: Not all groups meet on Jewish holidays. Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lammas, Halloween, the solstices, and the equinoxes.)

Secure Communications, Outside and Inside

First, a little information about communicating with the outside world. Warning: nerd attack ahead, complete with geek-speak.

If you are feeling cautious (or even a little paranoid) about the safety of your communications over the Internet, here are some things I have learned.

1. Adblockers really work. Just turn the blocker on in your browser, and you will start getting next to zero new ads! So refreshing.

2. If you want to get rid of all the ads you are currently seeing, you have to clear your browser’s cache. This will free up a lot of storage space on your computer. It will also be annoying because your browser won’t remember any of your passwords. I think it’s worth one day of annoyance to restore what you want in trade for avoiding days and days of things you don’t want.

3. There is one browser that never, ever, tracks what you look for and never, ever, collects any data whatsoever about you. It’s DuckDuckGo (https://duckduckgo.com/) I suppose that means that, if they get subpoenaed, they have nothing to give the government.

4. Mozilla (https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/) is now offering a VPN (Virtual Private Network) for US $4.99 a month.

5. Signal (https://www.signal.org/) offers free end-to-end encryption for totally private, untraceable voice and video calls. Also free text, voice messages, photos, videos, GIFs, and files transfer. Since they collect no data, they have nothing to sell. They are a non-profit living on donations.

6. Skype now offers “Private Conversations” and Facebook Messenger offers “Secret Conversations,” both though Signal. Why they do this, I do not know.

~~~~~~~~~~

On to the inside, which probably is of greater interest to everybody here.

Sometimes internal communication goes smoothly, and sometimes it stirs up all sorts of turmoil. I can’t guarantee you these hints are foolproof, but they have worked for me.

Actually, they aren’t hints. They are principles of good communication, both internal and external.

Politeness

The old saying goes, “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” You will get much more cooperation if you remember to say “please” and “thank you” and lay off the swear words. (I had a friend who addressed his alters this way: “Listen up, assholes!” To which they replied, “Fuck off!” He was surprised; I wasn’t.)

If you speak to them politely, don’t call them names, and don’t try to boss them around, they will be less anxious around you, they will listen to you, and they will have an easier time understanding and remembering what you are saying. They will also be more willing to talk to you.

Compassion

You may find you dislike some alters and are afraid of others. You may even feel like screaming and running away or getting rid of them permanently. This is not unusual, and the situation is not hopeless.

It helps to remind yourself that they went through horrible, horrible things to protect you and all the others inside. Plus, they may have been ordered to be like they are, and, given the torture they were enduring, they had no choice but to obey. If you think about this when they are not in your presence, you will find yourself softening toward them when you meet them. In turn, they will learn to react to you differently.

You are encouraging yourself to meet these alters with compassion and an open heart. You can always explain this to them even when you don’t think they are around. They may be listening silently, or others may tell them what you said. News is often shared inside.

When you do interact with them, you’ll find yourself feeling sad for what they went through, even in the midst of your fear or annoyance. 

Honesty

If you lie to an alter, you will build distrust, not respect and trust. If you try and sugar coat things, they will think you are clueless. If you try to fake knowing something you don’t, you will make a fool of yourself. Dishonesty is counterproductive.

We are all used to lying, keeping secrets, not talking about certain things. It was the way we were raised, and it takes hard work to change. It takes courage to say, “I don’t know.” It feels very, very vulnerable.

It’s great if you are brave enough to put it right out on the table. “I learned as a kid to lie and hide things in order to protect myself. I am trying very hard to learn how to be honest. I don’t want to lie to you, but I may forget sometimes. You can help me by asking if something is true or not if you are not sure.”

Humility

You are not perfect. You are guaranteed to make mistakes, many of them. This is not because you are flawed, but simply because all human beings make mistakes. 

I promise you that you will be happier and more self-confident if you stop chasing perfection. I have a couple of mottos that have helped me over the years in the quest for the acceptance of imperfection.

“It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be different.”

“If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing a half-assed job of it.”

These little phrases have given me the courage to try new things, to fool around and just see what comes from it. After all, trying is better than sitting around putting all my energy into scolding myself for not doing anything.

Admitting you made a mistake builds trust. This is just as true of internal relationships as it is outside ones. 

If you put these principles into practice with outside people, you will find that it is easier to get to know somebody and that your relationships will improve. What works with inside people works with 3-D people.

~~~~~~~~~~

I plan to write more about internal communication in the next few weeks. I may refer back to these principles, but I probably won’t elaborate. I’m going to focus more on practical stuff, like crayons and taking turns and remembering things. I hope it will prove useful! 

~~~~~~~~~~

Upcoming Holidays

January
1/20 (?) St. Agnes’ Eve
1/28 Full moon

February
2/2 Candlemas/Imbolc/Satanic Revels
2/12 (?) Lincoln’s Birthday
2/14 Valentine’s Day
2/15 (?) Presidents’ Day/Washington’s birthday
2/16 Shrove Tuesday/ Mardi Gras
2/17 Ash Wednesday/beginning of Lent
2/25 Walpurgis Day
2/27 Full Moon

March
3/1 St David’s Day (patron saint of Wales)
3/1 St. Eichstadt’s Day
3/17 St. Patrick’s Day (patron saint of Ireland)
3/21 Spring Equinox
3/24 Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan
3/28 Full Moon
3/28 Palm Sunday

Dates Important to Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups
1/12 Birth of both Rosenberg and Goering, Nazi Leaders in WWII
1/28 Tu Bishvat/Tu B’Shevat (Jewish celebration of spring)
1/30 Hitler named Chancellor of Germany
2/26 Purim (Deliverance of the Jewish people from Haman in Persia)
3/28 – 4/4 Passover/Pesach (Deliverance of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt)

(NOTE: Not all groups meet on Jewish holidays. Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lammas, Halloween, the solstices, and the equinoxes.)

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I have organized a ZOOM group of survivors whose systems are polyfragmented, or partially so. If you would like to join, contact me through the comments section or write rahome@ra-info.org

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* You can find more information on the following holidays at: 
Candlemas https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/candlemas/
Valentine’s Day https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/02/10/valentines-day/
Spring Equinox https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/the-spring-equinox/
Easter: personal. (for background, see Spring Equinox) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2014/04/21/easter-blues/
Walpurgisnacht/May Eve: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/04/20/walpurgisnacht/
Beltane: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/beltane/
Mothers’ Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/04/26/mothers-day/
Fathers’ Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2020/06/20/ritual-abuse-and-fathers-day/
Summer Solstice (corrected text) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/06/15/well-this-is-embarrassing/
Lammas https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/category/lamas/
and https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/august-ritual-dates/

Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 1 https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/08/31/the-feast-of-the-beast/
Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 2 https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/feast-of-the-beast-part-ii/
Fall Equinox https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/the-fall-equinox/
Halloween {personal) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/halloween/ 
Halloween (background) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/samhainhalloween/
Thanksgiving https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/11/20/thanksgiving/
Yule/Winter Solstice https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/yulewinter-solstice/ 

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* How to add a comment after a postThis blog’s design makes it hard to figure out how to comment. Go down to the bottom of the post. You will see in light grey type: “RATE THIS,” tagged (a list of the tags), and (the number of) comments.” Click on the word “comments” to open all posted comments.

At the very bottom of the page, you will see “LEAVE A REPLY.” That’s where you make a new comment. You can reply to a posted comment by clicking “Reply” under that comment. In each case, make sure to click “POST COMMENT” when you are finished. It’s a good idea to write out your comment first and then paste it in so that you don’t risk losing what you wrote.“The Facade Is Part of the Building”