Do You Consult the Ritual Calendar?

Up-Coming Holidays
5/1  Beltane/May Day/ Labour Day in Europe  
7/4  Fourth of July/US Independence Day
7/8  Full Moon
 
87/14  Bastille Day?
 
7/24  Pioneer Day (Mormon)? 

7/25  St. James’ Day/Festival of the Horned God 
8/1 S N Lammas/Lughnasadh
8/7 S Full Moon
8/7 S Partial lunar eclipse: visible in most of Europe, most of Asia, Australia, Africa, and eastern South America.
8/21 S New Moon
8/21 S Total solar eclipse: totality visible in parts of the United States; partially visible in the United States, Canada, Central America, northern South America, western Europe, and western Africa.
Important dates in Nazi groups
4/30  Anniversary of Hitler’s death
7/29 Hitler proclaimed leader of the Nazi party

 

For everybody who is having a horrible time, please remember that Beltane will be over very soon. Pain always feels eternal, but it is not. You will live through it, not in it.

 

For the first five or ten years after I realized I had been raised in a Satanic cult, it seemed like I was surrounded by ritual abuse survivors. There were Twelve-Step meetings, conferences, mailing parties, poetry readings, all sorts of things. Now, of course, much less is going on and when I am with other survivors, it is mostly on the Internet.

More than once we discussed whether we read the ritual calendar or not. The calendar was designed for those that did read it: there was no question of not compiling and publishing it. In those days the calendar consisted of the eight pagan sabbaths, Christian dates, Jewish dates, dates from antiquity, and astrological events. Now I have confined it to pagan, Christian, Nazi and astrological events. The others dates are listed separately after the main calendar for clarity.

Some people were afraid that if they looked at the calendar they would react to everything on it and be totally overwhelmed with anxiety. That was one reason I listed some dates separately. (The other was that the more entries on the calendar, the more mistakes I made. One year I had a month with three full moons!)

Some were afraid that if they knew that a certain day was a ritual holiday, they would react to it even if their group didn’t celebrate it. These people also avoided reading books about ritual abuse and were reluctant to hear of other survivors’ experiences. They were afraid information would be contagious and contaminate the memory of their experiences.

Others used the calendar to find out if a particularly difficult day had been a ritual holiday. If yes, bingo! if no, then they had to figure out another explanation. They didn’t worry about contagion because they were checking the calendar after the fact.

Then there were people who looked at the calendar  so that they could prepare for hard days. They trusted their instincts and weren’t concerned about contagion. If their mind offered feelings of fear and pain and guilt, then they know from their strong reaction that they had been abused on that day. They had a chance to prepare themselves, to brace themselves for flashbacks.  If they could, they stayed home and provided comfort food, their journal, crayons, a warm blanket, favorite teas. It was still hard, but these soothing objects were a reminder that it was not happening now and that they had gotten through the day many times and would be able do it one again.

There is no right or wrong way to use the calendar. Choose what feels right to you at the time. You can always change your mind. The calendar is just a tool you can use whenever you think it might be helpful.

By the way, I fall into the last category. I check it every month so that I can take extra good care of myself on horrible days.

But I have a problem using this wonderful tool. Even if I check it, I keep forgetting there is a holiday coming up! Right now I am aware that Beltane is just around the corner. But if I turn my attention to something else, it slips right out of my awareness.

Oh well, it’s not the only elusive thing in my life. I have learned to put it on my to-do list, which I check several times a day.

 

I have a favor to ask. I have a lot of trouble updating the calendar  every year and I hate to make mistakes. I also have done it for over fifteen years and am sort of tired of it.

Would anybody like to uptake it for 2018? I would tell you how to do it and I would proof read it for you. If this is too much, would anybody like to proof read it? Or several people? If you can only compile or proof part of it, that would still be a great help to me.

Walpurgisnacht

Up-Coming Holidays
4/30  Walpurgisnacht/May Eve
5/1  Beltane/May Day/ Labour Day in Europe  
7/4  Fourth of July/US Independence Day
7/8  Full Moon

7/14  Bastille Day (?)

7/24  Pioneer Day (Mormon)

7/25  St. James’ Day/Festival of the Horned God
Important dates in Nazi groups
4/30  Anniversary of Hitler’s death
5/1  Beltane/May Day/
7/29 Hitler proclaimed leader of the Nazi party

There are a lot of Saints’ days on the Satanic calendar. I’ve tried to research them a couple of times and not found out much, if anything. This time I got enough information to write a post about Walpurga. for whom Walpurgisnacht is named.

Most of what I learned was on the New Advent’s Catholic Encyclopedia http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/15526b.htm
Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walpurgis_Night and a post on the Alabama Media Group’s site by Beverley Crider on what appears to be a series of articles titled “Strange Alabama.” http://blog.al.com/strange-alabama/2013/04/the_other_halloween.html

Celebration of May Eve in Pre-Christian Times
Gaelic people celebrated Beltane, a fertility festival, on May 1. It is exactly six months from Samhain, which marks the beginning of the New Year.  Hibernating animals are now up and about and the seeds that lay dormant in the soil waiting for the days to lengthen once again have become healthy little plants. It’s time to think of making the next generation.

Back then, April 30, the eve of Beltane, was called May Eve. The veil between the world of the living and the world of the dead became thin and the dead came to visit the living (just like on Halloween.) It was an excellent time to ask their help in forecasting the future and in bringing good fortune to all things living – crops and animals as well as humans.

On May Eve home fires were extinguished and bonfires were lit. People stayed up all night and danced in the fields to ensure the crops’ fertility or went “a-maying” into the woods to ensure their own. At sunrise, home fires were lit from the sacred bonfires and then there were games and feasting.

In Germany, April 30 was known as Hexennacht, a night when witches gathered on a tall mountain. The bonfires helped keep them away from the people celebrating. As the centuries passed, the witches got more and more malevolent.

Today, May Eve is called Walpurgisnacht or Hexennacht in Germany. In Holland it is also Heksennacht. It is called  Valborgsmässoafton  in Swedish, Vappu in Finland, Volbriöö in Estonian, Valpurgijos naktis in Lithuanian, Valpurģu nakts or Valpurģi in Latvian, and čarodějnice and Valpuržina noc in Czech.

Where Walpurgisnacht Came From
When Christianity was introduced into these lands, the old feast days were renamed and celebrated with Christian meaning. Often the old ways could be seen underneath the Christian beliefs. May Eve became the feast of Saint Walpurga.

Walpurga was born around 710 AD in Devonshire, England. Her father and brothers went off on a pilgrimage when she was eleven, leaving her at a convent that her brother had founded. She joined the order and stayed 26 years. Scholarship standards were very high: so high so that she later wrote two books about her brothers, “St. Winibald’s Life” and an account in Latin of St. Willibald’s travels in Palestine. She’s considered the first female author of England and of Germany.

Her uncle, Boniface, was a missionary in Germany who established many monasteries and convents throughout the country. In 748 he called for English nuns, including Walpuga, to join him as missionaries. On the voyage from England to Germany, a terrible storm arose. Walpurga knelt on the deck and prayed, the storm lifted, and the seas became calm. This is why she is the patron saint of  sailors.

In  751, she was appointed abbess of the women’s monastery at Heidenheim in southern Germany, where she died on February 25, 777. Her feast day is February 25;  May 1 is the day she was canonized, in about 870. Her body was moved to a church in Eichstaett and in the process it was discovered that the remains secreted a holy oil, which was distributed to pilgrims. The oil was said to ward off or cure physical and spiritual diseases.

 Walpurgisnacht Today
I can’t see much in the life of St Walpurga to carry over into present-day Satanic May Eve. Perhaps her piety, gentleness, learning, and wisdom are perverted, but that does not ring a bell for me. Perhaps only the name was borrowed to mask and keep secret the activities of that night.

A fertility festival, however, easily lends itself to a Satanic orgy, gang rapes, and bestiality. and the creation of special children. In some cults it is believed that children conceived on Walpurgsnacht or Beltane are “Satan’s spawn” and will hold high office when adult. These babies will be due a little after Candlemass, and it is easy to induce them so that they are born on that day.

In any event, it is a horrible night.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has always been hard for me because it was awful in my family and because I got married the Saturday after Thanksgiving. (We had chosen that date because it was a long weekend and we thought more people would come.) It’s a lot better now. I had been invited to a friend’s house but I declined because there is going to be a crowd of people and I am sure I would be overwhelmed. So it’s lovely Chinese food – I will be content.

I only have one memory of Thanksgiving from my childhood, and that was of staring at a plate with celery sticks and olives on it. I hated celery and loved olives but I was expected to take one of each. It just wasn’t worth it. In contrast, I have many clear memories of my wedding day and I fondly remember Thanksgivings from my adult years. Childhood amnesia for what should have been a memory-filled day says a lot to me.

The first year I was alone I bought myself a Cornish Rock Hen, made a wild rice stuffing, and sobbed through dinner. The next year I accepted an invitation and was totally miserable in a group of about thirty strangers who all seemed to be having a great time. Now I know myself better than to make those mistakes again.

I think Thanksgiving is a horrible holiday for most cult kids.  It’s so easy to turn Thanksgiving upside down and, in Satanic cults, give thanks to Satan for all the opportunities we had during the year to gift him with sacrifices, pain, and fear. It’s not a traditional Satanic holiday, so there is the freedom to design new rituals that satisfy the leaders’ particular sadistic desires. It’s also an extra long weekend, so there is a lot of time to abuse kids, animals, and weaker adults.

My guess is that there is more variability in Thanksgiving traditions among the different cults than there is for the other major holidays. I also imagine that it is not celebrated in most other countries; perhaps only in Canada. Lucky countries!

I hope all of you can prepare to deal with flashbacks and to be extra gentle with yourselves. Do things that soothe you, do things that have worked in the past to avoid self-harm, either to the body or to your soul. If you find a voice saying awful things to you, try talking softly to that voice, saying that it has done a great job all these years of putting you down and you think it was a way of hurting you before the cult members hurt you. But it isn’t necessary any more.

And those of you who are still being abused, I hope that you can protect yourself as much as possible and keep alive the hope that you will be able to escape. Try and remember that leaving a cult usually isn’t an abrupt break. It usually is a series of attempts until a time comes when you have tried  often enough, learned enough, and gotten strong enough to leave for good. We all are cheering you on!