Safety Issues: Documentation

I’m going to circle back and talk more about increasing your own personal safety. I know this isn’t fun to read about. I know some of you will think, “I don’t need to read this – I’m safe where I am. Nothing she will write will apply to me.” I truly hope you are safe now. But it can’t hurt to read it, right? And you may meet somebody who really needs to know all this.

Okay, on to the tough stuff.

First of all, you need to keep good records about any kind of harassment. Good documentation will make it somewhat more likely that the authorities will take you seriously and may help you spot a pattern to the harassment. It can also be used to frighten your abusers – I’ll get on to that later.

You can get a separate notebook to record incidents and keep it with you. Each time something suspicious happens, note the date, time, place, who was present, what happened, what action you took. List, by name, anybody involved that you know. If you don’t recognize anybody, you can add a guess as to who might be responsible. Make sure you separate the facts from conjectures. You can also add how it affected you – whether you had panic attacks or nightmares afterwards, etc.

I’ve found a lot of people are reluctant to do this. “It’s too much work, there’s no need to write it down because I am sure I will remember, it’s embarrassing to stop what I am doing and write stuff down;” all sorts of good reasons not to start this project. Chances are there are parts inside who are frightened and need reassurance. Ask inside what is scary about writing down upsetting things. If you get an answer, take it seriously, and try and get a little more information before you jump in with reassurance. You may not get the most important fear first.

Actually, this  response is normal. People who are trying to lose weight are often told to keep a food dairy. They find it’s really hard to make themselves do it. I think that’s because part of them knows they eat a lot more than they admit to themselves. If they do write it all down, they are shocked to find out the truth.

In the same way, keeping records will serve as a reality check and, if you are being harassed, help break through any denial you may have. It will draw your attention to the environment and may help you become more alert. It may also frighten you deeply if the harassment is severe. You can’t forget the incidents as soon as they happen because they are down in black and white.

After a while you may find a pattern. This is an invitation to change your routine; go places at a different time, take a different route, go with a friend. They aren’t omniscient, and unless you tell them, they won’t know where to find you. They are just human beings, like you and me, and can’t read minds or predict the future. For example, if you go to the supermarket every Friday at 6 PM, go before work or school. They will still be asleep or having their morning coffee.

These records can be used to tell your abusers, “back off.”  Basically, you take advantage of their fears and use the records to threaten them.

It’s a good idea to make several copies of your documentation.  Attach a statement that you are not suicidal and that if you die in an accident it should be investigated thoroughly. Copies should be kept in different places: your therapist’s files, an attorney’s office, or a safe deposit box are all good choices. If you have good friends, they can be given a copy, too. If you have chosen to go to the police, they should get a copy of each incident.

The reasoning behind this is that your abusers do not want to get caught. Even if they are questioned and then let go, it really upsets them. And they will get in big trouble with other members of the cult.

Don’t spend any energy trying to keep this project secret! If word gets back, it may well make them stop harassing you. So once you have a record of several incidents, you may get up the courage to find a way to let them know what you are doing. That might be giving a copy to a friend you aren’t sure is safe, talking about it over the phone if you think your phone might be tapped, writing about it on your blog, or even broadcasting it on Facebook or Twitter. That will stop them from seeing you as a helpless victim; you obviously are somebody who can think, reason, and take effective action!

And perhaps you won’t find anything at all suspicious to record. Wouldn’t that be absolutely wonderful!

In the coming weeks, I’ll be writing about other practical things you can do to help protect yourself, most probably with breaks for other topics.

If anybody has tried this, write us a comment – we would love to hear what happened.

21 thoughts on “Safety Issues: Documentation

  1. This is not realistic for most victims with dissociation..I cannot document anything..switching, amnesia doesn’t allow it. Stress and trauma doesn’t. So people like me die. Where is guidance for people not able to do this and need to straight up escape into a refuge like situation.

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    1. You are right. Some of these suggestions would be very difficult for somebody who was rapidly switching. But rapid switching, amnesia, anxiety, stress, is not a death sentence. It can feel like one: the fear is overwhelming.

      Many people ask about a safe house and I have to tell them that there are not very many of them and they are not widely known. This is to avoid infiltration, attacks from cult people, etc. Also, there is a very common circumstance where the person seeking refuge has a “reporter” alter. This part has been instructed to let their abusers know where they are at all times. That part, or parts, needs to be identified and convinced that they will be better off if the abusers do not know where they are. That part has probably been threatened with death, either for themselves or for somebody they love, or some beloved animal. They do not know that abusers seldom follow up on their threats because that threat will then no longer be useful in controlling their victim.

      Once you have dealt with the internal barriers to safety, then you can turn to external safety. If you are a woman, there are more societal resources – shelters, women’s centers, etc. If you are a man, it’s harder to locate resources, unfortunately. I suggest starting with the Internet.

      Most people find safe places to live through friends or church contacts. If you have some savings and job skills (this would only be if you had worked through the kind of dissociation you describe, of course) you can move to some random place and start over.

      I hope what I have said isn’t too discouraging. Remember that all of us had a really hard time escaping and that it usually takes more than one try to make it. But it can be done!

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      1. Well the problem is, that’s a very stereotypical presentation of a victim but not all of us have these problems. There is no reporter alter here anymore for instance, not for years. And many people cannot stay shelters as they Are not safe or the level of dissocition and trauma is too great to be in a public loving space where you cannot control who is there or how you get treated.
        As far as finding support, this excludes the lives who couldn’t find support before they broke down.
        Or had fraudulent support and lost it

        Not all victims are dangerous, not all victims have these resources.
        Church isn’t going to happen, if you were victimized by that and aren’t christian and left or was abused and pushed away from it.
        It is discouraging. Because it says to me that I did something wrong, I failed in finding safety..like everyone else can. I’m sure you don’t mean it that way, but that’s the effect it has.
        So if alienated from the public, and failed to find support because of narc abuse and financial abuse there is nothing. I just wish people would be more aware that victims are not all looking like the literature says, and dying because of the forms of abuse we experienced. I never read my situation talked about anywhere, like people think victims like me, don’t exist.
        So I’m just clarifying, if you didn’t find safety in people, before breaking down, nd are trapped with abusive people still, there is no support or way to find safety.
        Im saying this because All those things you mentioned, have either been unsafe not practical or I’ve been turned away.

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        1. I’m very sorry you tried so many things and none came through for you.

          I don’t blame people who are still trapped. I feel lucky to have gotten out and extremely sad and frustrated that there are few to no resources for those who have not yet escaped. Society neglects and rejects so many because people are afraid or just simply totally clueless. I have known people who have had to lie about their abuse in order to get help because they know that the system can’t handle dissociation and ritual abuse. A couple of people I know have reframed it as “trafficking”, which is part of the story, but only a part. They are not to blame for the way they are treated, and neither are you.

          I have no solution. I try, little by little, to educate people and remind myself that I am doing the best I can. It’s not nearly enough, it’s just a drop of water and we need a whole ocean to change society.

          I’m very sorry I caused you pain – it was not my intent. I offered what I had and it was lacking and now all I can do is apologize and hope that somebody else may come into your life and actually be able to show you the path to safety that you are seeking.

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          1. I’m sorry. YOU didn’t cause me pain, it’s not your fault..it’s extremely triggering and upsetting to have no navigation in this area and to be boxed in by a limited understanding people have of sra. Thank you so much for your response, it’s validating and I feel seen.
            I wish I had been smarter and more aware when I got roped into the mental health system. They entirely destroyed my life and future. Thank you so much. I wish the best for you.

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  2. Hi Jean,

    I know someone who is being harassed and they were asking about safety…..getting it to stop. May I copy your blog below and give it to them? I will also give them your website.

    Thanks!

    WH

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    1. OF COURSE YOU MAY!

      If anything is useful to anybody, all the effort is worthwhile.

      Same for anything on http://www.ra-info.org. Just put the web address of the page you copied so others can find it. If you are doing an academic paper, you add the date you found the information, because pages are updated frequently.

      It’s an honor to have pple copy or cite what you wrote.

      Here are two websites she might find useful. I ought to put at least parts of the first one on the blog.

      https://sites.google.com/site/targetedindividuals101/survival-guide/more-survival-guide

      http://www.destroythedarkness.com/forum/discussion/202/targeted-individuals-covert-surveillance-and-insidious-attacks-/p1

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  3. I have notebooks for the past few years since I realized what was happening, the control of everything about me. I sent copies of documents to friends with information of who is whom. Then just recently I sent my passwords to everything. I also need to send keys to my home incase.

    I really do not feel it will ever stop that this is my life. The phone calls, the people willing to help them, it all just absolutely amazes me. I feel sometimes that I was born on another planet and sent here by mistake. Please keep writing Jean, it does help. Incase I do forget to cover the bases.

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    1. Since this has never happened to me, not even anything remotely like it, I often feel I shouldn’t write about it because I have nothing to say. I don’t even have good websites to recommend. But it sounds like there was a little something in there that you found useful. And that is enough to keep me writing.

      I understand sending friends your house keys, but why your passwords? Doesn’t that make you more vulnerable?

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      1. If anything ever did go wrong, proof could be in a place I would not have thought about. If I need to move from one place to another [even for safety] then she would be able to access things. She has been a friend since we were children, I trust her with everything.

        Control to me is control, know matter how someone obtains it. It is taking away the rights and freedoms of another human, these to me are rights granted by our Creator. The abuse, mental or physical; it is all the same. It is all evil, it is all hard for me to understand how one person can do this to another. I find it very hard to say what I feel. I know how it effects me and can only sit in awe. I am sure I have not suffered one moment as much as many others.

        Please keep writing, it encourages all of us.

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  4. Great advice, Jean. I have only tried some of this whenever there was trouble with a neighbour or when I considered going to court with our local council. Keeping a diary is so important because, as time goes on, we really don’t remember and if we ever need evidence, this is one sure way of getting some. I have also tried videoing and recording evidence, but that wasn’t too successful in my situation

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    1. Thanks for saying it is a good technique to use in all sorts on conflicted situations. Documenting phone calls, person’s names and positions, date and content of emails, etc. A gay friend documented his homophobic neighbors’ actions and got them evicted.

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      1. Courts expect you to keep a diary, but some people just can’t be bothered and, as you say, they maybe subconsciously don’t want to face just how often the abuse is happening. It’s very difficult when you’re in it.

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  5. This seems like something that might help us Targeted Individuals.
    Do you think so ?
    Yes, we also must endure callbacks but being Targeted as we are is our
    biggest problem.It has dominated our life for the past 5 yrs 😦
    So very weary of it.
    They ( who? we do not know who is behind them -who is funding them)
    but our life does not belong to us anymore.
    Want to fight back.
    Any thots on this ? Anyone ??
    Thank You Jean for writing this.
    from Fairlight

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    1. I don’t know so much about targeting. Is it microwave stuff or gang stalking, or both?

      I don’t know if documenting it would help, but it couldn’t hurt. It might show you patterns, like when it is less intense, so you can take advantage of the breaks.

      Anybody else have ideas?

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    2. It’s a very complicated issue, because, what you know as your cult is actually the power that rules the world, the so called Occult. This is the whole way of life that makes it so complicated for you and there is a complex answer. Firstly, you must reject the occult beliefs and accept something instead, if you want out. It’s about who you are and what your spirituality is, not meditating better, as the cult would want. I see only Christianity as the adequate alternative that will save you from this satanic way down. Making your way of life, personal order is very helpful. It gives you power to deal with things your way, not be a mind controlled slave of the Ascended Masters of the cult. You can do whatever you want then, besides, you have a full right for self defence. The real solution to all this is to change the social system from what you see on TV with the cult behind the scene to a completely different meaningful humanistic order, as I’m suggesting and Jean knows. But it all can be done by you, you already are making your first steps towards it.

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      1. One thing I really love about Mark is that he deeply believes in all of us, that we have rejected the cult’s values and thus can leave free and meaningful lives.

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