You are the History of Your Soul

I was looking through some very old email and came across this. Scottie is an alter in one of my friends, who happens to be an accomplished poet. I had forgotten what Scottie had said about the soul and, on rereading,  I find it very interesting. I have her permission to share it with you.

Jean: I have been daydreaming of boxes of “implementation records” sitting in a dusty closet at the Smithsonian. Some old geezer never got around to throwing them out before he croaked or went emeritus, and there they are to this day. Every few years somebody finds them, takes a peek, doesn’t understand, but figures they are important enough to leave for somebody else. The pages in the lab notebooks have slowly turned sepia.

Scottie: That’s the picture. I like your way of describing it – more appealing than the way I say things. I was talking to that shrink, and said I was no writer, and had no words to paint pictures for him. Okay, so I forgot about the others, the poets, that’s a habit of mine.

Jean: And in those cartons is the history of my soul.

Scottie: Not. Though it might feel that way. In this very moment, as you read this, you are the history of your soul. The way you act, the things you do and say are the illustrations for the book that is the history of your soul.  Your motives, desires, acts, the way you treat your kids, the cats, the bunny (who you claim to detest – yeah, right!), yourself. Those are the things that come from your living soul.

As one who went through programming with awareness, I can tell you that behaviors and perceptions are molded; but the soul, for higher-ups, the smart and strong ones, is off in another realm, keeping itself safe. Weak and so well hidden that it may be hard to recognize in that dark corner, but its intact and safe. It refuses to bend to anyone else’s will – kinda like steel, but more like rubber, which has what we call “memory” and can and will only return to its own shape. It is what it is, and can act only as itself (e.g.: rubber) will act.  Can’t change it.

You can destroy it by burning it or something, and that’s analogous to killing the subject. You also can’t change a soul to make it “good” if it’s not inherently “good” or “bad” if it’s not inherently “bad,” which was the justification for some mind control work. However, I think there aren’t too many instances of frankly black souls – it’s nurture that corrupts behavior and makes the soul seem black. You understand this, since you figure that Jeff Dahlmer and people like him had okay parts and were basically “good” deep down. No one has found a way to destroy or permanently mutate the soul of a strong and intelligent subject. That’s why MC research never ends.

OK, end of sappy but true lecture.  Just don’t suggest I apply it to myself. I will admit that my mum is an example of a black soul: no nurture events to explain her sociopathic mind, yet there she is – rotten to the core in the classic sense. No will, care, or understanding that she has done grievous wrong. And she had a pretty nice childhood.

And I will admit that, with all that programming, this body should be a hell of a lot more black than it is – but you just can’t make a rubber band into a gun.

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2 thoughts on “You are the History of Your Soul

    1. Carla, I don’t think you are evil, because somebody evil would not be reading this blog. I think you may “feel” evil, or parts of you may believe you are evil because they were told that over and over again. And they were forced to do things they didn’t want to, like hurt some person or animal, and then told that it was their fault and that they were evil.

      I don’t think Jeffrey Dahlmer was evil, either. He did very bad things, but deep down he was just a confused, lonely little boy. I don’t know who taught him to kill people and eat them, but lots of cults do that.

      What Scottie meant was that evil people are very rare and we who have grown up in cults didn’t want to do the things we were taught to do. And therefore we are not evil.

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