The Awareness Center

Upcoming Holidays
August
information on August holidays https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/august-ritual-dates/
8/1 Lamas/Lughnasadh
8/7 Full Moon
8/7 Partial lunar eclipse: visible in most of Europe, most of Asia, Australia, Africa, and eastern South America.
8/21 Total solar eclipse: totality visible in parts of Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Nebraska Iowa, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, North Carolina, and South Carolina; partially visible in other parts of the United States, Canada, Central America, northern South America, western Europe, and western Africa.
September
9/4 S Labor Day
9/6 Full Moon
9/5 – 9/7 Marriage to the Beast (Satan)
9/7 Feast of the Beast
9/20 – 9/21 Midnight Host
9/22 Fall Equinox
9/29 Michaelmas (?)
October
10/5 Full Moon
10/13 Backwards Halloween
10/13 Friday the Thirteenth
10/22 – 10/29 Preparation for All Hallows’ Eve
1
0/31 Halloween/Samhain/All Hallows Eve/
Hallowmas/All Souls’ Day/Start of the Celtic new year, the “dark” half of the year
Important dates in Nazi groups
7/29 Hitler proclaimed leader of the Nazi party
9/1 Start of WW2
9/17 Hitler’s alternate half-birthday
10/16 N Death of Rosenburg
10/19 Death of Goering
10/20 Hitler’s half-birthday
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The Awareness Center

Back in the 1990’s and early 2000’s, there were many very good organizations devoted to ritual abuse resources and healing. Many of them folded after a few years. The WayBack Machine only started archiving websites in 1996 and it didn’t really get going until 2000. Some website owners specifically asked that their material not be archived or, when they took down their webpages, asked to have the material removed from the archives. I was very saddened because I thought that information was lost forever.

You saw how excited I was when svali returned to the web and posted all her past writings and promised new articles. Now I have found another treasure.

The Awareness Center was a project of the international Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA). It served as a clearinghouse of information, resources, support, and advocacy and was on the net for fifteen years – from April 30, 1999 to April 30, 2014.

Although the website disappeared, JCASA’s founder, Vicki Polin, collected the finished webpages and put them in blog form. You can find them at http://theawarenesscenter.blogspot.com.

Jewish communities, like all persecuted groups, are very silent about sexual abuse and assault. They do not want to give their enemies any information that could be used to discriminate against them and persecute them. Although there are Jewish cults that practice Satanic ritual abuse, this secret is held very, very tightly, for fear of reactivating the “Blood Libel.” This centuries-old myth claims that Jews kill babies and use their blood as an ingredient in the wafers that are used in the most holy part of Catholic masses. For centuries the “Blood Libel” was used as an excuse for pogroms.

Of the major Jewish branches, Orthodox, Conservative and Reform, the Orthodox branch is most active in its efforts to keep all information about abuse within the community. People who say that they suspect abuse are told to talk to a rabbi, who will forbid that person from going to the police. If somebody does talk to the police, they and their families are shunned and verbally abused. People have lost their jobs and been banned from their synagogue. Their children have been expelled from school. Even women who have been raped as adults are shunned if the assault becomes known.

I have known only a very few Jewish survivors. Of these few, most were abused by non-Jewish groups, usually Neo-Nazi groups who wanted a Jewish child to use as a scapegoat. I can only think of three survivors of Jewish ritual abuse within the family – three in twenty-eight years! And between people I met in person and those I corresponded with by e-mail, I must have met over 2,000 survivors. Of course, many were focused on healing in the present and did not share much of their past with me, so the number may be a lot higher.

Back to the Awareness Center Blog. If you scroll down on any page, underneath “popular pages” you will find the blog archives, which start at May of 1970. Obviously that was not a 1970 blog entry; Vicki Polin must have filed information or kept it in a diary.

At http://theawarenesscenter.blogspot.com/2001/01/articles-written-by-awareness-center.html there is an index with articles grouped under the topics: community issues, clergy abuse, clinical (issues), cults and missionaries, general, family members of sex offenders, holidays, legal, offenders, parenting issues, rabbis, survivors of childhood abuse, and survivors of sexual assault. It includes space for articles planned for the future as well as those already written. Unfortunately, links to a couple of really interesting entries lead to a celebrity gossip page: https://www.axs.com/. I wonder how that happened.

It took an incredible amount of courage for Vicki to create first the webpage and then the blog. Every Jewish survivor deserves to know that this blog exists, for the knowledge of its existence will challenge the feeling of being the only one.

Can I ask a favor of all of you?

Will you tell every Jewish survivor you may know about this resource? And can you tell all the other survivors you know about the blog and ask them to tell their survivor friends to spread the word. Here is a sample paragraph for you to copy if you wish. “Could you tell all your survivor friends, both Jewish and non-Jewish, about this blog? It has information and resources about sexual assault in the Orthodox community. http://theawarenesscenter.blogspot.com. Wide distribution about its existence will ensure that it will reach many Jewish survivors and lessen the burden of feeling that they are the only one who has suffered like this.”

Thank you so much!!

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Update on Kim Noble, Activist Artist

I check the statistics for my blog every week or so to see which posts are popular and what key words have been used in searches. The number of people reading  “Kim Noble, Activist Artist” started to climb. At first, two or three people consistently read it each day and I thought maybe I should do an update if Kim was willing. But then something really weird happened – the numbers of views increased steadily to a high of 280 on 12/14. I wrote Kim and asked her if she knew what was going on.

Then I found out that things had gotten really wierd!

I don’t know how many of you are aware of the conspiracy claims about Pizzagate. Basically, some private email of John Podesta was hacked and leaked. (Podesta is the former chairman of Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign and champion of declassifying many CIA documents, including those on UFO’s.) People started to claim that the e-mails contained secret codes relating to child sexual abuse. “Cheese pizza” was supposed to stand for “child pornography.” A summary of this confusing conspiracy theory can be found at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizzagate_conspiracy_theory

Comet Ping Pong pizzeria in Washington D.C. was accused of being the center of a child sex ring. The owner and employees were harassed and received dealing with trollsdeath threats both by phone and on-line. Other business in the neighborhood were also targeted.

Kim Noble believes that somebody found my blog post and shared it with the “Pizzagate” conspiracy people, saying that she had sold one of her paintings to the owner of Comet Ping Pong. She, too, started to get badly harassed. She told me that she got 90,000 hits on her paintings’ website in one day!!!  Luckily, things have calmed way down by now.

Kim says:

“It has been strange and in the beginning very frightening. I was told by my agent, therapist and friends not to respond. I sat watching for two days and thought no they are so wrong I need to respond. I then answered or commented on every comment. Now it is quiet and people have been very supportive, thanked me and said I should be a spokes person for Pizzagate, not that I would, but the turn around and support now is amazing. One person answered that they would of preferred to learn about abuse from my paintings rather than their babysitter. What else needs to be said?”

Talk about bravery! I think the world of Kim.

P.S. Remember that we can’t all be Kim, and that we shouldn’t try. We can try to be our true selves and put ourselves out in the world as much or as little as is right for us. By being our true, real selves, not what the perpetrators taught us we were, or tried to turn us into, we make the world a more genuine, more loving place.

Words Are Our Machine Guns

I need to write another post about Halloween. I’m not getting flashbacks of any sort, not even “feeling” flashbacks. Whether I have stuffed them all way down or worked through them I don’t know, but I do know I’m not having them.

It’s on my mind, though, that other survivors are having a horrible time and there is very little I can do to help them. I can say I am sorry, sorry they did that to you, sorry you are still having flashbacks after all these years, sorry you are feeling alone and frightened. I wish I could share what I did to stop the flashbacks, except I don’t know what that was. I can only hope that one day you will find your own way past them.

What’s happening today is also on my mind. I know that children are being used in rites. I know children are being tortured and programmed. I know they are being made to hurt other children and being told they are evil for doing so. And there is nothing I can do to rescue even one of those children.

And so many animals are being tortured before they are sacrificed. There is nothing the children can do to prevent this, except feel in their hearts that it is wrong. Pray silently, perhaps, for God to end their suffering and take them home to a loving place. And, if possible, know that it is not their fault and that they are helpless to stop it.

I used to fantasize breaking into a ritual gathering with a machine gun and mowing down all the adults. How a ten-year-old kid could get the money for a machine gun, walk into a store and buy the gun and bullets, hide it, learn how to shoot, avoid being taken to the ceremony, and overcome her total aversion to killing weren’t part of the fantasy. Neither was what to do with the terrified kids and animals and all the bodies. Just the killing part. This from a person who takes spiders outside when she finds them in the house and can only kill weeds without guilt.

Now I imagine the day, years and years from now, when enough of us have given our testimony that the majority of people in our society believe this happens right in their back yard. Then the adults will be believed and people will know enough to recognize signs that a child is being ritually abused.

There will be so much information out there that amnesia will crumble and the truth will be known universally. A whole lot of the perpetrators will be desolated at all the suffering they have caused and will stop doing it. Those few sociopaths that don’t care will become isolated and ever fearful of getting caught. The cults will be choked to death by truth.

I get great solace from the belief that speaking out in whatever way we can will hasten that day. Words are our machine guns.