Ritual Abuse – the Gift that Keeps on Giving

Upcoming Satanic and Nazi holidays  
Please note that Satanic sects build the year around pagan holidays Christian holidays, and major secular holidays. It is the Neo-Nazi groups that defile Jewish holidays.
Also see: August Ritual Dates https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/august-ritual-dates/
Fall Equinox https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/the-fall-equinox/
Labor Day https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/labor-day/
9/1 (Nazi) Start of WW2:  9/5 (Satanic) Labor Day (US and Canada):  9/5 – 9/7 (Satanic) Marriage to the Beast:  9/7 (Satanic) Feast of the Beast:  9/16 (Satanic) Full Moon:  9/17 (Nazi) Hitler’s alternate half-birthday:  9/20 – 9/21 (Satanic) Midnight Host:  9/22 (Satanic and Nazi) Fall Equinox

 

Some gift.

First I thought that when I became independent and didn’t have to do what my parents said, things would be fine.

Then I thought if I could only figure out what was wrong with me, I would be fine.

If I married, if I had kids, if I went to graduate school, if I lost five pounds, I finally would be happy.

Then I thought if I could shake my depression, I would be fine.

I got married, had kids, got my degree, and am no longer depressed, thanks to Wellbutron. I still have a few pounds to lose  –  aha! that must be it!

Seriously, what’s wrong is my ritual abuse background. I’ve worked like hell on ritual abuse for many years, and I think things are probably almost as good as they are going to get. They might slowly get even a little bit better in the next few years. If they do, I won’t complain.

It’s true. Ritual abuse affects your whole life, every single year of it, right through the “Golden Years.” <snicker>

I’ll tell you what set off this rant. An article from WebMD News by Amy Norton entitled “Serious Infections Tied to Suicide Risk: Danish study finds greater association in those hospitalized with HIV or hepatitis.” It is an easy-to-read description of an article by  Lena C. Brundin, MD, PhD and Jamie Grit, BSc  “Ascertaining Whether Suicides Are Caused by Infections.” JAMA Psychiatry online, August 10, 2016. It is at https://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=2542678  The abstract and first page are free; the rest of article can be purchased. The WebMD article is at http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20160810/serious-infections-tied-to-suicide-risk

Denmark has kept marvelous medical records since 1977. The National Patient Registry includes all inpatient, outpatient, and emergency room visits. It is a health care statistician’s dream come true.

The authors studied patients who had been hospitalized for infections and compared them to those who had not had infections. Their suicide rate was 42% higher. The suicide rate of people hospitalized with HIV/AIDS or hepatitis, both really serious infections, was more than twice that of people who had had neither HIV/AIDS or hepatitis.

It’s known (but not by me, this was the first I had heard of it) that inflammation can cause depression. Interferon, used to treat some infections and some cancers, causes an inflammatory response; almost half the people on interferon become seriously depressed. It’s not that it’s depressing to have an infection or cancer because people taking other drugs have far lower rates of depression.

So…inflammatory factors can cross the blood/brain barrier. If my body is inflamed, I get depressed. And if I am depressed, my body becomes inflamed.

One of the main after-effects of ritual abuse is depression. If the body isn’t already inflamed from the abuse (which it surely is), the depression causes inflammation. Or makes the body become more inflamed. That explains why so many us are chronically sick – and depressed – as adults.

I’ll offer myself as an example. Looking back, I can see I was clearly depressed by first grade. Suicidal ideation appeared briefly as an adolescent and then became chronic in my late thirties. Interestingly, when I was thirty I had a mysterious illness that caused pain in my hands, arms and legs. It hurt to even hold a pen. Was it fibromyalgia? The only diagnosis offered was, “Middle-aged women sometimes get this.” It cleared up in my forties when I took an antidepressant.

Unfortunately, the antidepressants I took made me gain 80 pounds. Obesity causes inflammation. Inflammation causes arthritis. Arthritis causes inflammation. Luckily the antidepressant I am on now doesn’t make me gain weight. I am on antidepressants for life because every time I try to stop I fall into a black depression and the suicidal thoughts come back.

After living with arthritis for over twenty years, I can no longer walk without a walker and can only go about a quarter of a block without sitting down. I don’t know what the next chapter of this story will be, but I hope the pace of the arthritis will slow now that I am neither obese nor depressed.

I think that if we could take great good care of our bodies when we are young we could avoid some of the conditions that cause inflammation. Dealing with the ritual abuse itself can lessen depression. Then we might get fewer diseases that cause inflammation when we get older and our depressions might be milder. But it is unrealistic to expect this amount of self-care when we have no idea that we are ritual abuse survivors or we are in the early chaotic stages of remembering. It takes all our energy just to stay alive. Besides, we were not taught self-care as kids and we have to painstakingly learn it as adults.

It is so unfair. There ought to be a rule that a person only has so much suffering in their life. Or that they get equal amounts of suffering and happiness. But it doesn’t work that way. The shadow of ritual abuse falls across our whole lives, like it or not.

When Survivors of Ritual Abuse or Other Forms of Extreme Abuse Need Medical Care

Upcoming holidays –  7/19 S (Satanic and some Nazi) Full Moon: 7/29 (Nazi) Hitler proclaimed leader of the Nazi party: 8/1 (Satanic) Lamas: 8/18 (Satanic and some Nazi)  Full Moon: 8/15 (Satanic) Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary: sundown 8/13 to sundown 8/14 (Nazi) Tisha B’Av: (Day of Mourning) Please note that Satanic sects build the year around pagan holidays and appropriate Christian holidays, some secular holidays, and may also mark holidays of other religions and cultures. Nazis and Neo-Nazis base their calendar on the Satanic calendar, add dates from Nazi history, and appropriate Jewish holidays.

Jade Miller’s wonderful blog, “Thoughts from J8: Notes on Attachment, Trauma, Dissociation, Multiplicity, SRA, and Recovery” is at http://thoughtsfromj8.com/ I hope you go visit it!

Jade and I have become friends over the last year. We are similar in many ways, dissimilar in many others. One of the ways we are alike is that we both come up with tons of wonderful ideas. But she starts working on them as soon as she thinks of them, while I put them on my to-do list. I start one in ten, while she finishes one in ten while I am still researching things.

A month or so ago we talked about how wonderful it would be to go to med schools and dental schools and tell the students about fear, PTSD, flashbacks, and all those good things that come from torturing children. And to write an article with doctors or dentists as co-authors. So far I have recruited one dentist and thought of another. She has decided to offer herself as a speaker and has started to assemble another website. She also wrote this guest post for me, which can serve as a first draft of the article on treating people like us.

So we happily share it with you – our idea’s first venture out into public. We see it as a step to more effective self-care and as an act of activism, as speaking out and educating others is activism.

Jade says that, if you think this would help with your medical care, you may print it out and give it to your medical provider.

When Survivors of Ritual Abuse or Other Forms of Extreme Abuse Need Medical Care
One topic that often comes up in conversation with other abuse survivors is the need for medical professionals to have a greater understanding of the issues survivors deal with in the doctor’s office. I say “doctor’s office” but I’m really talking about any kind of office where a professional is going to be consulted about some aspect of our physical health. So all of this includes dentists, eye doctors, ultrasound technicians, gynecologists, etc.

Things That Apply to All Survivors
In my opinion, one of the most important things for practitioners to keep in mind is that even the disclosure of abuse history is a very vulnerable and tender place for survivors. Filling out forms with questions about our medical history can feel very cold and impersonal, and we may not initially write these things on the lines on the papers. But face to face, if your staff is friendly and compassionate, if they take their time and don’t rush us through the check-in process, we may tell them snippets of the abuse that relates to the questions they have to ask. It’s awkward and scary for us, and we do it because we want help – not because it’s fun.

Another thing to be aware of is  – this may sound counterintuitive – sometimes compassion is not helpful when expressed as noticeable emotion. If I tell somebody about something abusive that happened to me, and that person starts to cry or get very angry, it puts an additional burden on me. I immediately feel guilty for saying something that caused pain – even though the pain was coming from a beautiful place of compassion. I feel I have to comfort them and I’m reluctant to say anything else – even if the information would change the course of my treatment – because I want to protect them from more painful knowledge. It makes it hard to just be a patient.

Presenting a strong and calm presence is beneficial for survivors because it conveys that you can handle anything we need to disclose. Statements like “I’m so sorry that happened to you,” and “I hate that you went through that,” along with, “Thank you for letting me know so that I can do everything I can to help you,” help calm our anxiety.

Another very important thing to know is that every single abuse survivor has been stripped of their own personal power at some point or another. We are in various stages of taking that power back – from not even realizing we have any personal power of our own, to taking baby steps, to full recovery. Making an appointment to see someone perceived to be in a position of power over us is really difficult. Oftentimes the only reason we choose to do it is because we are having some pain or problem with our bodies that has become greater than our fear of your perceived authority.

Because we’ve experienced abuse by more powerful people, we often naturally distrust people in positions of power. This is not personal or a statement about you. Power has been used against us and we have been violated, silenced, and shamed with it.

So with that in mind, one of the best things you can do for us is to honor our voice. Honor and even reiterate the fact that we are in control of our bodies and our treatments. Make recommendations, give us the facts, share your knowledge with us – and then put the ball completely in our court. Don’t argue with us if we choose something different than your first recommendation. Don’t belittle our choices or our questions.

Survivors who have been ritually abused often have specific reasons to fear the medical system. Many have been abused by doctors or people pretending to be doctors and have been told that cult medical personnel are in all hospitals and clinics. We believe, on some level, that all it will take is one phone call to set us up to be abused again. Because of this, many of us are interested in more holistic alternatives to medical problems.

We have often done research and asked questions and investigated alternative treatment methods. Honor our requests for information about other options if you feel professionally capable. If you don’t, be honest without being antagonistic. Tell us you don’t have enough knowledge or experience to practice what we are asking for but would be willing to make a referral.

Treating Patients Who Dissociate
Here are some questions that would be great for medical providers to ask patients who have disclosed that they have issues with dissociation. Keep in mind that answering these questions may be difficult and make the patient feel very vulnerable.

1) What happens when you dissociate?  For example, do you space out, switch to a different part, freeze up, flinch if you are touched?
2) What would be helpful for me to do if I notice that you’re dissociating? For example, give you a few minutes to collect yourself, ignore it, ask how you’re doing?
3) Is there anything that would help make the appointment less stressful? For example, bringing a stuffed animal or other comfort object or having a support person in the room?
4) When procedures have to be done, would you prefer that I tell you everything I’m going to do before I do it or just get it over with as quickly as possible?
5. Do you know of specific things I could do to prevent a flashback or help you through one?

We will try to answer your questions, but we may not be able to tell you everything up front. Some of us may not have the awareness or ability to articulate their experiences. Building trust takes time. There may be events or experiences in our past that relate to present-day medical issues but we just don’t feel like we can tell a complete stranger we’ve only just met. Patience and respect on your part will – over time – empower us to trust you with that information.

Summing Up
This post is just a starting point. I want to address providers on behalf of trauma survivors, but there are so many unique situations represented by this population that a ton of other information could be written about the subject. The best thing to do is to get to know the patient and form a partnership with them.

There is one final thing I would like to share. We don’t have two heads. We aren’t all that different from your other fearful, phobic patients. We just have different reasons for our fear. We’ve lived through things that you may never have heard of, but that doesn’t mean that the things that you do to reassure your patients won’t work for us. And it works the other way, too; if you learn something from us it may be applicable to the rest of your practice.

Jade Miller

http://thoughtsfromj8.com/

Talktoj8@gmail.com

Anorexia and Bulimia

Upcoming ritual holidays – 5/21 full moon: 5/30 Memorial Day: 6/6 D-Day, the invasion of France in WW II (Nazi): 6/19 Fathers’ Day (US and Canada): 6/20 is both a full moon and the summer solstice

Prior posts on eating disorders – 4/10 Eating Disorders (Introduction): 4/20 Over-Eating: 5/10 Ritual Abuse Issues and Eating Disorders.

Let’s get oriented with some definitions:

Anorexia: “lack of appetite.” Modern Latin, from the Greek “anorexia:” the prefix “a,” without, and “orexis,” appetite, desire. First used in the 1590s. Anorexia nervosa was coined by William Gull in 1873 to mean “emaciation as a result of severe emotional disturbance.”
Paraphrased from the Online Etymology Dictionary, http://www.etymonline.com

Bulimia: “compulsive overeating usually followed by purging” Modern Latin, from the Greek “boulimia:” “ravenous hunger” (literally “ox-hunger”) from the prefix bou, (from “bous” ox) and “limos” hunger. The word entered English as bulimy in the medical sense in the late 14th century.
Paraphrased from the Online Etymology Dictionary, http://www.etymonline.com

Both these words are usually used to denote an eating disorder, but they can also be symptoms of other conditions. Anorexia can be a side effect of chemotherapy or extreme emotional distress. Prader-Willi disease is present at birth and makes children eat uncontrollably because they always feel hungry. Bulimia can be caused by poorly controlled blood sugar in diabetics.

Anorexia
Anorexia is the most dangerous of the eating disorders, with more fatalities than any other psychiatric condition. It is frightening for friends and family – and sometimes doctors and therapists – who feel helpless to do anything for the person with the condition and are panicked that the person may die.

Basically, it is an overwhelming obsession with food coupled with a distorted body image and an intense fear of becoming fat. The person believes they are fat when they actually are seriously underweight or emaciated. This misperception sets off a vicious cycle, increasing the resolve to diet stringently and strengthening the obsession.

Food is often categorized as “good” or “bad” and only very small amounts of “good” foods are allowed. Food may be weighed and charts of calories, grams of protein, carbohydrates, and fats logged meticulously. Some people attempt to manage their weight by depriving themselves of nourishment, while others turn to purging or excessive exercise. Either form of anorexia takes over the person’s life.

Anorexia is the most common cause of death among women aged 15 to 24, and affects between 0.5% and 3% of the general population. Men make up about 25% of anorexics. Some studies say that between 5% and 20% of anorexics will die of the condition, sometimes years after they have started eating normally.

Anorexia takes a huge toll on the body. Bone loss can occur after only six months from too much cortisol (the stress hormone), low levels of estrogen, and not getting enough calcium and vitamin D. Men experience bone loss from all the same factors, except that they have low testosterone, rather than low estrogen. Bone loss is irreversible without medications.

Heart damage occurs quickly, too. Starving yourself burns not only fat, but muscle tissue, and the heart is a muscle. The heart gets smaller and weaker, and, again, the harm is irreversible. The immune system is weaker, and so you are more apt to get infections, which are harder to fight off because you have a low white cell count.

And then there is lack of menstrual periods, thinning hair, feeling cold and tired, and messed up blood electrolytes.

Any deviation from the self-imposed dietary rules causes anxiety, shame, and guilt. There is also intense shame because of the misperception of being overweight or obese. Feeling fat may lead to wearing clothes that completely cover the body, avoiding social situations, and self-loathing.

Sometimes people can’t tolerate constant starvation and break down and binge. Sometimes binges occur periodically, sometimes anorexia is replaced by bulimia. Both disorders are horrible to live with, narrowing your world and sucking all pleasure out of life.

Bulimia
Bulimia is characterized by recurrent episodes of binge eating followed by efforts to eliminate the food eaten (vomiting, laxatives, fasting, etc.) This isn’t a now-and-then occurrence, like at Thanksgiving; it takes place on average twice weekly for three months or more.

There are two types of bulimia; purging and non-purging. With the purging kind, the person tries to eliminate all the calories by induced vomiting, laxatives, or enemas. Non-purging bulimics compensate for their binges by fasting or excessive exercise.

The prevalence of bulimia is said to be 2% to 3% of the general population and can be as high as 10% in certain groups, such as college-aged women. It occurs in 2.3% of white women but in only 0.4% of black women – probably because the studies are done on white middle-class women. Males have not been studied as much, but it appears that about a quarter of bulimics are men.

It is relatively easy to keep bulimia a secret. Many people are of normal weight, or even overweight or obese, so an eating disorder never crosses family or friends’ minds. Both binging and purging is done in private, as both are accompanied by intense guilt and shame at losing control. And the longer it goes on, the lower a person’s self-esteem, the greater the feelings of shame, and the more effort is put into keeping it a secret.

Bulimia may be an effort to contain PTSD, anxiety, or clinical depression, and the rate of substance abuse is high, especially of diet pills and stimulants. About 30% of bulimics are also alcoholic, and other forms of self-injury, such as cutting, are often seen.

Like anorexia, the damage bulimia can do is extensive. If ipacac, which is toxic to the heart, is used to induce vomiting, heart failure may result. Vomiting can erode enamel on the teeth, make the salivary glands swell visibly, and make small bleeding tears in the esophagus. About half of bulimics stop menstruating or have irregular periods.

Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, alone or with antidepressants, is recommended for treatment of bulimia. If the binging and purging has been going on for a long time or occurs frequently, it is harder to treat and there are more relapses. The Twelve Step program, Over-Eaters Anonymous, welcomes anorexics and bulimics as well as over-eaters – it should really be called Eating Disorders Anonymous.

Finally, the eating disorders bibliography at http://ra-info.org/for-researchers/bibliographies/eating-disorders/ lists resources. The website Something Fishy at http://www.something-fishy.org/ is especially helpful.