I finally did it. I spilled coffee all over my keyboard. And, boy, did I freak out! It was the final, the absolutely final straw. (Don’t ask!) But now I have a new one, and as soon as I figured out how to turn it on, it worked! The whole day was shot, however, because I ran around shrieking like a crazed weasel and didn’t get a damn thing done. So this post has no theme, just little bits and pieces of (hopefully) interesting things.
The New Blog Will Be Here Soon!
My wonderful sweet Web Manager tells me that it is almost finished and that it is time for her to start teaching me how to use it. She is very patient with me, and that makes me feel secure. In the past, I figured things out by myself, and it seemed like it took forever. Now I have friends who are more at ease with technology than I am and who have helped me with ZOOM and Google Docs. My Web Manager assures me it’s easier than WordPress, which gets more complicated every day. She says it’s actually fun! That is not a word that comes to mind when I think of WordPress.
So sometime in April, the blog will move to SquareSpace. This one will remain up so that people can look through the archives. The last post on WordPress will explain all this, and there will be a notice on the SquareSpace blog telling people about the old blog.
I’ve decided that I want to repost – or maybe rewrite – the most popular of the WordPress articles. And, in honor of thirteen years of blogging, the very first article post on WordPress will also be the first post on SquareSpace. I’m getting excited!
Healing Often Isn’t Much Fun
I found Fanny Priest’s blog, and I like it a lot. She doesn’t seem to be a CSA survivor, pretty certainly not an RA or MC survivor. Yet so much resonates with me. https://resourced.substack.com/p/healing-isnt-supposed-to-feel-good?publication_id=946996&post_id=108188161&isFreemail=true
Here are two quotes from a post on becoming a mother that speak to me today, even though my issues are different. I often feel this way as I try to practice self-care in the midst of my struggle to understand and live with my past in a better way.
“Healing – in the context of trauma, at least – is about shifting deep underlying patterns of protection towards patterns of connection. It’s about naming, interrogating, interrupting, and ultimately transforming patterns that have held us firm to the belief that our bodies are bad, that our feelings are too much, that our needs don’t matter, that our worth is tied to our productivity, that our humanity is dependent on our proximity to power. And, more often than not, this kind of healing – the deep, lasting kind, the kind that transforms lives and communities – totally feels like shit.”
“Finding small moments of joy in the midst of struggle is an act of resistance.”
Those precious moments of joy (and peace, understanding, and compassion) remind me that healing is, indeed, worth every moment of pain and struggle.
The Trafficking Conference Videos Are Available!
Just a reminder – these presentations tell the truth about our lives. They are both heavy and inspiring and can also be very triggering.
“The Interface Between Sex Trafficking, Ritual Abuse (RA), and Mind Control (MC) Programming.”
Part 1: The panelists, ranging in age from 58 to 85, were all introduced to sex trafficking by their families. Their experiences ranged from being exploited by a local group of pedophiles to global elite child sex trafficking rings. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=855pdTCJ4_s
Part 2: Panelists describe their escape and entry into healing, how their abusers attempted to maintain control, signs and symptoms specific to their ritual abuse and mind control programming, and share their recovery process and work for the survivor community. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4asQx4cecI
Spencer May Not Be the Ideal Cat, But I Love Him
I read up on Turkish Vans on Wikipedia. The part on breed history and genetics was quite interesting. The section on behavior was upsetting. If I had read it before I started window shopping for adoptable Vans, I might not have fallen in love with a photo and ended up with Spencer. But he is here, and he is gorgeous, and I am in love with him, and that’s that.
From Wikipedia: (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkish_Van)
“The TICA standard notes several characteristics, including their high intelligence, energy and playfulness – also making them somewhat mischievous. Muscular and highly driven, they like to climb and perch high up, to study their environment, and they get around their domain with impressive athleticism. They make quite successful hunters as a consequence. Their drive makes them easily trainable with positive reinforcement – to play fetch, do tricks or walk on a leash. Although there may be efforts to move the breed towards greater sociability. a 2021 study in Finland did find that the Turkish Vans in their research showed higher than average tendencies towards fearfulness, aggression towards humans, as well as a lower stress tolerance (notable excessive grooming and litter-box problems), and lower sociability to humans and cats.
Curious, Turkish Vans want to be with their owner participating in whatever is happening, and so they may follow a person from room to room. While Turkish vans are affectionate to their family members, these are not normally lap cats. They may lie next to their owners and will happily allow themselves to be petted, but this is not a breed that tolerates being picked up and often wants to be near their owner, not on their owner.”
The Finnish study link was clickable. The charts do, indeed, show that Turkish Vans are near the top in terms of playfulness and activity. However, they score very high in fearfulness and are by far the most aggressive toward humans. They are way below average in sociability toward humans and the least sociable with other cats. They have litter box problems and other neurotic behaviors when stressed – and they get easily stressed.
That’s my kitty cat!
Coordinating Medical Care
I’m searching for somebody to help me coordinate all the doctors treating the many diseases I have collected over the years. I know lots of us have chronic conditions, and I am sure a fair number of us find it hard to get the doctors working together, especially when there are no team meetings. It’s hard enough to have a chronic illness, but finding the time and energy to deal with doctors, hospitals, and insurance companies can feel impossible.
Here are two national directories to help you deal with medical problems.
1. National Association of Health Care Advisors https://nahac.com/
This association offers healthcare coordination to people of all ages. To find somebody near you, click “Directory of Advocates” on the footer.
2. Aging Life Care Associates https://www.aginglifecare.org
A large organization of certified professionals dedicated to helping seniors lead a fulfilling, self-directed life as long as possible. Among its resources are a blog, newsletters, and a peer-reviewed journal. When I entered my zip code, I received the name of 25 members within a 15-mile radius. They offered a variety of services, not just medical care coordination.