* Detailed instructions for making comments are in “News Items.”
* I am looking for people who have been impregnated in a cult setting and lost their child through forced abortion, sacrifice, or forced adoption for submissions for an anthology I hope to put together. Even if you have not been abused this way, could you spread the word and tell all your survivor friends and therapists or pastors about the project? They can write me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information. Thank you so much!
I am thinking of all the people, adults as well as children, who will be hurt this Halloween. And all the animals who will be sacrificed. I have a special sadness for the black cats that will be killed, as I had a black kitty named Bobcat.
I wish I could somehow help everybody escape. Of course I can’t, but I still wish I could. I know that all I can do is tell my truth, that I was born into an intergenerational Satanic cult and that I escaped and, with a lot of hard work, made a happy, productive life for myself. I, and countless other survivors, are living proof that it can be done. And if somebody who is still enslaved happens to read about one of us, it may inspire them to free themselves.
You know, if enough people break their programming, there won’t be any more abusive cults!!! Attrition, that’s what we can hope for. That some day there will be only one Satanic circle left, and it will consist of three toothless old men who are having trouble remembering the rituals. It won’t be in my lifetime, but that is okay.
To those of you who are still caught in their evil embrace, I wish freedom for you. If you are ready to try and get out, I urge you to make a safety plan for Halloween, if you haven’t already done so. And make a back-up plan, in case you need to change direction. It’s so much better to be prepared than to have to wing it while you are terrified. If you aren’t ready, there will be opportunities in the future.
And please remember that leaving is usually a process, not an event, like flipping a light switch. Each time you try, you learn something more and are stronger and better prepared for the next attempt. Just because this attempt failed doesn’t mean the next one is fated to fail, too. Keep hoping, have faith that you will be able to escape, and keep plotting how you will do so.
For those of you who are out, whether it be for a few years or many, parts of you may not really believe this. They may feel fear and despair and their feelings may be communicated to you. Please try and remember that this is a “feeling flashback,” not reality. Talk to those parts (don’t expect an answer) and tell them that you are sorry horrible things happened to them and glad that they are alive and trust you enough to let you know how they feel. Do what you can to soothe them – in doing so you will soothe yourself.
I am in a phase where I am not very reactive to Satanic holidays. I can’t say I like any part of Halloween, but I am not going to freak out. This year will be a real test of whether or not I have flashbacks.
You see, I have cataract surgery scheduled for October 30! I had one eye done in January, so I am prepared for what will happen. It’s still not the best choice of days, I must admit. Especially as they threatened to blind me if I didn’t obey. But that is another story.
This time I get to blame the insurance company, not the cult. They will only cover the surgery if it performed in one place, a day surgery clinic. The clinic doesn’t have enough space to accommodate all the surgeons who want to use it so the waiting list is very long. I was originally scheduled to have it done on June 30, six months after my first surgery. Unfortunately I got an infection and they had to cancel it. I was then offered a date in January 2019 but talked my way onto the waiting list for a cancellation. When I lucked out, I took a deep breathe and accepted the October date.
It will be fine.
I’ll be thinking of all of you during those days and holding you in my heart with great tenderness.
10/24 Full Moon
10/31 Halloween/Samhain/All Hallow’s Eve/ Hallomas/ All Souls Day/Start of the Celtic new year.
11/1 All Saints’ Day
11/22 US Thanksgiving
11/23 Full Moon
12/21 Yule/Winter Solstice
12/22 Full Moon
12/24 Christmas Eve
12/25 Christmas Day
12/31 New Year’s Eve
Dates important to Neo-Nazi groups
(Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lamas, Halloween, the solstices and the equinoxes)