COVID Risk-Taking and Childhood Trauma

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Saturday, February 19 at 4 – 5:30 PM Pacific Time  n
5 – 6:30 PM Mountain Time
6 – 7:30 PM Central Time
7 – 8:30 PM East Coast Time
Sunday, February 20 at 9 – 10:30 AM Melbourne, Australia Time


Blog Entry Schedule

I have been posting blog entries on the 10th, 20th, and 30th of the month. Until recently, when it tends to be the 11th, 21st, and 31st (or 1st) of the month. Rather than fuss over such a minor thing three times a month, I have decided to post them on the 10th, 20th, and 30th, give or take two days. Permission granted to change my mind at any time.


COVID Risk-Taking and Childhood Trauma – U.K. researchers found that adverse childhood experiences played a role.”

The entire original article is at:

Is anybody really very surprised?

I have noticed that survivors who were used in medical experiments and those that were given drugs by injection are less apt to be trusting of the official CDC COVID information, more apt to be against being vaccinated, and more apt to feel that their freedom was being taken away by mask mandates, lock-downs, etc. They are also less frightened by COVID than those that have not had these experiences.

As one of my friends said, “I have done my time as a lab rat.”

I find this totally understandable. Rather than criticizing my friends, I feel grateful I did not have those experiences. I worry about them a lot. (However, I worry about everybody a lot these days.) In turn, they worry about my decisions.

I make very different choices. I wear N95 masks and am mostly self-isolated. I believe that Omicron causes more breakthrough infections than Delta or the original virus. I believe that even though Omicron is, on average, less severe than Delta, and many people don’t even know they have it, there still are plenty of severe cases and deaths. And I believe that older people and those with certain pre-existing conditions are more likely to get seriously sick than the young and healthy. Finally, I am 100% sure that I am no longer young and healthy. (I have five conditions that are counted as major risk factors.)

I can understand why, if I had been used for years in medical experiments, I would feel the same way as my anti-vaccine friends. I would probably fear that all of COVID was a wide-reaching government experiment and that we were being lied to right and left. I would probably think that some of my friends didn’t believe this because they had not broken their programming. They act like timid little sheep because they have been tortured in other ways, and those experiences have made them very risk-averse and afraid to the point of paranoia.

Admission: I see myself as being risk-averse to the point of paranoia. I am cautious, and that is great. But I feel I am ridiculously over-cautious, which is not great at all. It’s like I am living in an all-pervasive never-ending flashback, afraid of everything all the time, just the way I was as a kid.

Still, I’m a lot better than I used to be. There have been times when I was agoraphobic to the max. I had a useful mantra, “It’s okay. They aren’t going to gun you down – it’s bad for business.” It made me giggle, which weakened the spell. Another mantra was, “You are a grown woman with a charge card, a full tank of gas, and you know how to ask directions. You will be fine.” It didn’t make me laugh, but it was so obviously true that it helped in a different way.

When the agoraphobia was at its worst, I was so paralyzed with fear that I would be sitting in one room, unable to get up and go into another one. Nothing I said to myself helped except, “Oh fuck, just do it.”

I figured that I could see everything in that one room, that little space, and there was nothing dangerous. But I had no idea what was just out of sight. I could turn a corner and my safety could immediately evaporate. It had happened so often – how could I be sure it wouldn’t happen again? Over the years, the fear lessened, I don’t know why – Perhaps it was due simply to the passage of time. Whatever the reason, I am sure glad it’s better now! Not all gone, but a hell of a lot better!

This is a damned-if-you-do/damned-if-you-don’t situation. The abuse made some of us overly afraid of the government and underly afraid of COVID, and it made others overly trusting of the government and overly afraid of COVID. 


Back to the article that prompted those thoughts.

ACES means “Adverse Childhood Events.” In 1998, Vincent Felitti, Robert Anda et al. published “Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults.” This article became known as “The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study.”

The ACES studied were:
physical abuse;
exual abuse;
emotional abuse;
domestic abuse;
living with someone who was mentally ill;
living with someone who abused alcohol or drugs;
and incarceration of an adult member of the household.

There are many other “adverse events” that can befall a child, of course, but these seven have been the subject of many subsequent studies. 

Here is the original article that set me off: “Associations between Adverse Childhood Experiences, Attitudes towards COVID-19 Restrictions and Vaccine Hesitancy: A Cross-Sectional Study.” Mark A Bellis, Karen Hughes, et al

Everybody over 18 in Wales with a phone was asked to take a survey between December, 2020 and March 2021, the period when all but essential workers were under lock-down. 36% of those people responded (2603.) Those that did not answer all questions were excluded from the study.  

The remaining 2285 subjects were questioned about their zip code (an estimate of socioeconomic status), age, and gender. 

They were also asked:
If they had experienced any ACES;
if had they had or currently have COVID;
and if they had or currently have: cancer, type 2 diabetes, coronary heart disease, heart attack, stroke, chronic bronchitis, emphysema, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, or asthma.

And their opinions on:
how trustworthy was the National Health Service’s information about COVID;
whether they felt unfairly restricted by the government;
vaccine hesitancy;
whether mask mandates should be abolished;
whether social distancing should be abolished;
and whether they had broken COVID restrictions.

Of the responders, 51% reported no ACES, 21% reported 1, 16% reported 2 or 3, and 10% reported 4 or more.

A high ACE score, poverty, and youth all increased distrust, feeling mistreated by the government, vaccine hesitancy, being opposed to social distancing and mask mandates, and breaking restrictions.

I’ll just give some figures for high ACE scores:
mistrust of NHS: high ACEs three times as likely as no ACES;
unfair restrictions: high ACEs more than twice as likely as no ACES;
abolish social distancing high ACEs more than three times as likely as no ACES;
abolish mandatory masking: high ACEs four times as likely as no ACES;
broken COVID restrictions: high ACEs twice as likely as no ACES;
and vaccine hesitancy: high ACEs four times as likely as no ACES.

It makes sense to me. If a child is mistreated or deprived, there will be consequences in adulthood. As an adult, there would be a greater chance of mistrusting others, especially those in authority. The only thing that surprised me in these results is that more people did not break the lock-down restrictions, even every now and then! I know I did.

There is something else that surprises me, and that is I continue to react with outrage whenever I come across an article correlating disease with childhood trauma. You would think by now I would only notice articles that find no correlation at all. 

What??? The cult is not responsible for Lyme Disease??? Or crocodile/wildcat/mosquito bites??? I am amazed!!! They lied when they said that they were all-powerful!!! And if they couldn’t do any evil thing they wanted, I certainly couldn’t, either. Not even by mistale. It is not my fault, after all.


Upcoming Holidays

2/14 Valentine’s Day
2/12 (?) Lincoln’s Birthday
2/16 Full Moon
2/21 (?) Presidents’ Day/Washington’s birthday
2/25 Walpurgis Day

3/1 Shrove Tuesday/ Mardi Gras
3/1 St David’s Day (patron saint of Wales)
3/2 Ash Wednesday/beginning of Lent
3/1 St. Eichstadt’s Day
3/17 St. Patrick’s Day (patron saint of Ireland)
3/18 Full Moon
3/21 Spring Equinox

4/1 April Fool’s Day
4/8 Day of the Masters
4/10 Palm Sunday
4/14 Maundy Thursday (commemoration of the Last Supper)
4/15 Good Friday
4/16 Holy Saturday
4/16 Full Moon
4/17 Easter Sunday

Dates Important to Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups

3/17-18 Purim (Deliverance of the Jewish people from Haman in Persia)
4/15-4/23 Passover/Pesach (Celebration of the deliverance of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt.)

(NOTE: Not all groups meet on Jewish holidays. Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lammas, Halloween, the solstices, and the equinoxes.)


You can find more information on the following holidays at:

Candlemas –
Valentine’s Day –
Spring Equinox –
Easter: personal (for background, see Spring Equinox) –
Walpurgisnacht/May Eve –
Beltane –
Mothers’ Day –
Fathers’ Day –
Summer Solstice (corrected text) –
Lammas –
Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 1 –
Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 2 –
Fall Equinox –
Halloween (personal) – 
Halloween (background) –
Thanksgiving –
Yule/Winter Solstice –