Book Review: Dear Little Ones

Dear Little Ones: Dissociative Identity Disorder for Young Alters. Written by Jade Miller and illustrated by Germán Zaninetti. CreateSpace, 2015. Available from Createspace and Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats.

Jade is a blogger and an artist. She is a polyfragmented Satanic ritual abuse survivor who wrote this book to help all inner children who are lonely and scared.

Germán Zaninetti is an illustrator living in Argentina. He prefers to work on mythological themes (mostly Greek and Egyptian), but also feels comfortable with child themes.

It’s hard for me to review this book. I would rather just quote the whole thing so that you can see how gentle and loving it is. Frankly, it brings tears to my eyes.

What I like best about the book is that it empowers child alters. Often decisions are made for them by more powerful alters, by the part currently in charge, or by a therapist or other helper. Hopefully those decisions are made with love and caring, so that the child alters can experience some healthy reparenting. But their lack of power when other people are telling them what to do can’t help but be a repetition of a large part of the cult experience.

Jade takes a really different approach. She starts by telling the child alters that it wasn’t their fault. “No matter what happened, no matter what anyone told you, it was not your fault.” And she tells them how wonderful they are.

She then explains the creation of alters. “But because of those things that happened, other people needed to be born on the inside in order to help the body stay alive.”  Some stayed young, others grew older. She tells the child alters they get to choose whether they grow older or stay the same.

Jade suggests that they explore inside and see if they can find other children to be friends with, older people to help them and explain things to them. She tells them she might find scary people inside, too. They are trying to help in their own way. She suggests that the children be kind to them because they are hurting, too. “In time, as people are nice to them, they will feel better and learn other ways to help and how to be friends.”

That’s true. If inside people are nice to parts that frighten them, those parts change. But I have never heard (that I remember) anyone telling child alters that they can do this, even without a PhD. Talk about empowerment!

After explaining outside people who are helpers and giving the child alters suggestions on how to stay grounded when they feel overwhelmed, Jade comes back to the theme of choice. They get to choose things that make them feel better.

The ending is like a blessing: “I wish all and only good things for you as you continue to take steps that will bring you into a life of truth and joy and peace.

I am with you in my heart, and I am cheering for you.

Love, Jade”

Jade and friends

You can get to know Jade at her blog: www.thoughtsfromj8.com  and her Facebook page: www.facebook.com/thoughtsfromj8  If you want to write her, her address is talktoj8@gmail.com

You can email Germán at harryzon88@gmail.com

Book Review: A Coloring Book of Healing Images for Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

You can read the introduction and order the book through http://colortoheal.com

The year ends on a high note for wonderful RA/MC books!!!

This book was a good five years in the making and it is absolutely gorgeous. The paper is really heavy, so you can use watercolor pencils or pastels as well as crayons and colored pencils. That’s inviting for adult and teens parts as well as child parts, who usually get to do all the coloring. (Not fair!)

The book is designed for all survivors of child abuse, but there are many sections that speak directly to multiplicity and ritual abuse. It’s hoped that it will tap into the immense inner strength and wisdom that survivors possess and to help make these resources recognized at a deeper level, cherished, and celebrated in all aspects of life and self.

There are seventeen chapters, each organized around a theme like safety, self-soothing, separating from the abusers, self-love, and spirituality. The chapters contain a few pages describing the theme, lists of healing ideas, and suggestions for creative activities.

Then come the images themselves, each with a self-affirmation.

The author is Ellen Lacter, who started off as an art therapist and became a clinical psychologist and Certified Play Therapist-Supervisor. She has worked with abused children and adult survivors — many of whom are survivors of ritual abuse — for over thirty years, She is a prolific writer — take a look at all the articles on her webpage. (http://endritualabuse.org/)

Two artists illustrated the book. Robin Baird Lewis has illustrated many children’s books. Her 1982 Canadian classic, Red is Best, has been in print for thirty years. She also, among other things, teaches crafts at children’s camps and paints murals. You can see a small sample of her work at http://robinbairdlewis.com/

Art was an integral part of Jen Callow’s healing process from ritual abuse. Today, she creates for self-expression and joy as well as healing and is thrilled to be able to contribute to others’ healing through this book. Jen is also a contributor to Alison Miller’s books, Healing the Unimaginable: Treating Ritual Abuse and Mind Control and Becoming Yourself: Overcoming Mind Control and Ritual Abuse. Although she does not currently have a website, this may change in the future.

This review cries out for an illustration, so here’s a page from the chapter on Self-Love. The affirmation for the illustration:

Honoring the Gifts That Come from the Abuse That I Have Endured
Because of my abuse, I have depth, complexity, sensitivity to others, spiritual resources, and wisdom beyond my years.

Robin and Ellen gave permission for you to print out and color it if you think it would advance your healing. Enjoy!

However, I could not figure out how to do this. If you can, please tell us in the comment section. I also uploaded it to my website but I can’t figure out how to download it there, either. Can’t be good at everything, you know. Try this http://ra-info.org/color-to-heal

 

 

Book Review: Perpetration-Induced Traumatic Stress

Perpetration-Induced Traumatic Stress: The Psychological Consequences of Killing by Rachel M. MacNair (2002) Praeger, Westport, CT. (Preview in Google Books.) This review was first published in Survivorship Journal 14(3).

Here is a book review I wrote for Survivorship back in 2007. When I looked it over, I found I remembered the book vividly. Since the topic has not been written about much, even in survivor circles, I thought it was worth sharing here.

This is the first work I read on PTSD in perpetrators, and it confirmed many of my hunches.  The book draws material from history, literature, sociology, research studies, and biology, as well as psychology. It was difficult to read emotionally, and I was grateful for the slightly dry tone, for it distanced me a little from my feelings. It also validated that my reactions of distancing are normal, given the circumstances.

There are chapters on combat veterans, executioners, the Nazis, law enforcement, murderers, and abortion practitioners – all adults who have killed as adults (if you consider abortion as killing). Although there is no material on children who have killed or on cults, where I harmed people, I could relate to almost every point.

It appears that PTSD symptoms, especially intrusive images, intrusive thoughts, and hyper-vigilance, are more intense among people who have killed than among people who have been victimized. The less socially sanctioned the act (e.g. atrocities against civilians in war versus killing in battle), the more severe the symptoms. PTSD is a common reaction even to situations when the victim is not seen, as in bombing.

A section on German officers’ reaction to guards shooting Jews standing before mass graves in the concentration camps has stayed vividly in my mind’s eye. Adolf Eichmann said, “Many . . . unable to endure wading through blood any longer, had committed suicide. Some had even gone mad.” After observing the shootings, Himmler was so badly shaken that he ordered the construction of gas chambers to place some distance between the soldiers and the murders.

At first it seemed odd to me that so very little had been written on the subject. But as I read the book, it became clearer. Society colludes to keep the subject cloaked in silence. Individuals do not talk of their reactions out of guilt and for fear of appearing crazy. Society objects to discussion; mention of PTSD in solders who have killed has been attacked for being anti-war propaganda, thus stigmatizing as unpatriotic those who would shed light on the issue.

The reason I found this book so powerful is that ritual abuse, by its vary nature, includes forced perpetration. It is a lot easier for most of us to accept that we were victims and that we wished we could have been saviors, helping other children, than to admit that we were also perpetrators, albeit unwilling perpetrators for the most part. And yet, unless we stop pushing that side of our experience out of consciousness, it is apt to erupt in one form or another and to shadow our present life with self-hatred and guilt.

I hoped that the publication of Perpetration-Induced Traumatic Stress would signal the start of sustained research and attention to the issues involved. When I searched in Google Books, I found precious little. Rachel McNair has written several books on related subjects, all of which look good. I did find On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman (2014)  First published in 1995 Little, Brown and Co, NY, NY. (Preview in Google Books.) Grossman also has a website; http://www.killology.com/ which contains information about other n=books, articles, audio visual material,and workshops.

However, I found nothing else, and I am afraid that the subject has faded back into the woodwork.