A Separate Arc for the Skunks

This is a happy story for kids, child alters, and other sensible people.

My father could be pretty mean with words.

He told us that Noah called all the animals to come into the Arc when it started to rain. But the skunks smelled so bad Noah didn’t want them on board. So he built a separate Arc for the skunks.

Every time the grownups did something and us kids had to do something different, he said, “Separate Arc for the skunks.” Like at a family party, if there was a kids’ table and a grown-up’s table.

That hurt our feelings. We didn’t smell bad. How could we smell bad if they washed us and our clothes all the time? They never let us get dirty, anyway.

Besides, skunks don’t smell all that bad. Especially if you think of elephants and hippos peeing and pooing in the Arc for forty days and forty nights. Yuck!

So I made a pretend separate Arc for the skunks and all their friends. It has six restaurants with everything they want to eat and plenty of it. It has soft beds and the cabins have night lights so nobody has to be scared of the dark. It has an orchestra that can play all the tunes in the world. It has a bowling alley, a movie theater, and a swimming pool with a waterfall and water slides and inner tubes.

It has everything the skunks and their friends could ever want.

So there!

Our International Community

May we all have a Happy — or Happier — New Year.

People often end the year with a summary. So I took a look at the statistics for this blog and found that there are readers from all over the world.

Looking at the number of hits in the last year (e.g. pages that people looked at) 57% come from the United States, 12% from the UK, 7% from Canada, and 24% from every place else. Sweden, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, Lithuania, and South Africa top the “every place else” category. And there are 77 other countries represented! The only continent where nobody looked at the site is Antarctica.

People came from 65 different websites, again from all over the world. This is not counting the different search engines. One thing that makes me especially happy is that we are reaching countries like Sweden, New Zealand, and Lithuania where there are few, if no, resources for ritual abuse survivors. Also Singapore, India, and Mexico, among many others.

Another thing that makes me happy is that, when I check out the blogs of people who list them when they make comments, about half are not already part of the ritual abuse on-line community. I hope that some are survivors and this is their first or second survivor contact and that, in time, they will discover many more resources. Others are probably members of the general public who are brave enough to learn something about dealing with the after-effects of extreme childhood abuse. Whoever you are, I am very grateful for your support.

What do people read when they come to this blog? The current entry, of course, the archives, and the ritual calendar; these pages draw about half of the hits. After that, the most popular pages are “Feast of the Beast,” “Symbols in Survivor Art,” and “What Do Satanists Really Believe?” — topics which can’t be found elsewhere. Essays on the various holidays are popular, and so are articles on flashbacks and triggers. “Writer’s Block” and “Addictions” are the least popular — guess those subjects are bummers. There is one page that is fairly popular for the wrong reason — “Angel Kitty” is the name of a band!

Now here is an idea for the blog’s direction in 2014.

If we wish, we can form an interactive community in the comments section, almost like a message board. If you like the idea and want to help get this rolling, answer one another’s comments. Ask questions to encourage others to participate. Commenting more often would also be helpful.

And tell me what to do. Would you like more or fewer comments from me? More frequent entries? What topics would you like to see covered? Would you like to see entries reprinted from other ritual abuse survivors’ blogs? If you live outside the US, UK or Canada, would you be willing to write about ritual abuse in your country?

This could be pretty exciting!

Advanced Belonging

I don’t want to give the impression that being around other survivors is all bliss. It is bliss compared to feeling like a total alien, but it isn’t 100% bliss.

Survivors are people just like anybody else. They have different personalities, different talents, different shortcomings. It would be impossible (and totally bizarre) if we were all the same, like clones. Having a background of extreme abuse doesn’t erase our individuality.

So there are people I get along with well and others I get along with not so well. I find some annoying and a very few abrasive or even dangerous. And — gasp — there are actually some survivors who don’t like me!

I think it bothers me more when there is friction between myself and another survivor, simply because I automatically feel closer to survivors than to other people. I expect to feel comfortable. And I care more.

What cushioned the initial shock of finding out that everything would not always be peachy keen was having gay friends. I had seen people come out and feel ecstatic for the first few months. Their eyes were shiny, they had a lovely smile on their faces 24/7 and they were filled with joy. They no longer felt like “the only one,” misunderstood and rejected.

Then, one sad day, one of their gay friends misunderstood them or rejected them. The little lavender bubble broke and reality set in. But you know what? Reality was still very much better than they ever could have imagined.

So I had a road map of what coming out as a ritual abuse survivor would be like. That helped prepare me, but it didn’t stop me from going through the process. And I am glad it didn’t. I still get all warm when I remember what it felt like to be around people like me for the first time. My people, my community, my family. It’s still wonderful.