Rant on Chronic Diseases Caused by Ritual Abuse, Continued

* You can find more information on the following holidays at:

Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 1: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/08/31/the-feast-of-the-beast/
Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 2: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/feast-of-the-beast-part-ii/
Fall Equinox: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/the-fall-equinox/
Halloween (personal): https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/halloween/
Halloween (background): https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/samhainhalloween/
Thanksgiving: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/11/20/thanksgiving/
Yule/Winter Solstice: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/yulewinter-solstice/
Candlemas: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/candlemas/
Valentine’s Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/02/10/valentines-day/
Spring Equinox: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/the-spring-equinox/
Easter: personal (for background, see Spring Equinox): https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2014/04/21/easter-blues/
Walpurgisnacht/May Eve: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/04/20/walpurgisnacht/
Beltane: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/beltane/
Mothers’ Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/04/26/mothers-day/
Fathers’ Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2020/06/20/ritual-abuse-and-fathers-day/
Summer Solstice (corrected text): https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/06/15/well-this-is-embarrassing/
Lammas: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/category/lamas/
and Lammas: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/august-ritual-dates/

~~~~~~~~~~

There was a large, well-done study of selected adverse childhood events (ACES.) These adverse events consisted of:
Emotional abuse
Physical abuse
Sexual abuse
Mother treated violently
Substance abuse in the household
Mental illness in the household
Parental separation or divorce
Incarcerated household member
Emotional neglect
Physical neglect

I assume that ritual abuse counts as experiencing emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, mental illness in the household, and emotional neglect. That’s a score of 5, which is considered high.

Here is the questionnaire, scoring directions, statistics on prevalence, and correlation with selected conditions. There is also a resilience questionnaire. https://acestoohigh.com/got-your-ace-score/

An article entitled “Adverse Childhood Experiences Increase Risk for Chronic Diseases – It’s Not Psychological” (https://www.acesconnection.com/blog/adverse-childhood-experiences-increase-risk-for-chronic-diseases-it-s-not-psychological) summarizes the correlation between chronic disease and high ACE scores.

“For every increase in the ACE score of 1 point, risk for developing an autoimmune disease such as type 1 diabetes, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis and many others goes up by 20%.” https://chronicillnesstraumastudies.com/ace-fact-sheet/

Here’s a list of thirty-three diseases that are correlated with high ACE scores. It is from the webpage “Chronic Illness ACE Fact Sheets To Educate Your Doctor (Free Downloads).” https://chronicillnesstraumastudies.com/ace-fact-sheet/

Addison’s Disease
ADHD, Behavioral problems in children, problems concentrating in school
Asthma
Cancer
Celiac disease
Chronic Fatigue
COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)
Coronary heart disease
Dermatomyositis
Diabetes, type 1
Diabetes, type 2
Fibromyalgia (FMS)
High blood pressure (hypertension)
Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis
Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD)
Liver Disease
Lung Disease (Asthma, COPD)
Lupus (Systemic lupus erythematosus or SLE)
Multiple Sclerosis
Myasthenia Gravis
Obesity
Psoriasis
Rheumatoid arthritis
Scleroderma
Sjogren’s
Sleep Disorders
Stroke
Thrombocytopenia purpura
Thyroid, Grave’s
Thyroid, Hashimoto’s
Wegener’s granulomatosis
Poor self-related health

The webpage also lists other effects of ACEs
addictions
anxiety
depression
fractures and other injuries, intentional and not intentional: motor vehicle accidents, being the victim of shootings, stabbings
criminality (also see violence below)
more marriages and greater difficulty with relationships in general
intimate partner violence
low life satisfaction
parenting: greater challenges and difficulties
poor academic achievement
premature births
PTSD
unintended pregnancy and parenthood in teen boys and girls
self-harm
violence

 

It’s too much. It’s just too much.

I think I have a right to rant often and loudly. I have a right to reject the label of “psychosomatic illness.” Ditto for” idiopathic.” Mirriam-Webster: “Of, relating to, or designating a disease having no known cause.” In other words, “I don’t know.” But I know, and I will tell you, even if you don’t ask. It’s too many ACES!

Having been blamed as a child for getting sick or told I was imagining or exaggerating things, I have a right to take myself and my body seriously. I always had that right, but I was told that I didn’t, and that I had to cede to adults, even if they were dead wrong. It’s not easy to go against those childhood beliefs, but, with practice, it can be done pretty effectively.

So now, if I have a new symptom or if a chronic condition gets worse, I tell my doctor. She knows I want answers to two questions, “What is causing this?” and, “What are we going to do about it?” I’m totally willing to accept an honest, “I don’t know” from a doctor, but fudging, guilt trips, or power trips are totally unacceptable. I had far too much of that as a kid.

~~~~~~~~~~

Upcoming Holidays

September
9/1 Full moon
9/5 – 9/7 Feast of the Beast/Marriage of the Beast
9/7 Labor Day (United States)
9/22 Fall Equinox
9/29 Michaelmas/Feast of Archangel Michael and of all Angels
October
10/1 Full moon
10/12 Columbus Day (?)
10/13 Backward Halloween
10/31 Full moon (Blue Moon)
10/31 Halloween/start of Celtic New Year/start of the dark half of the year
November
11/1 All Saints’ Day
11/2 All Souls’ Day
11/11 Veterans’ Day (?)
11/13 Friday the thirteenth
11/14 New moon
11/26 Thanksgiving Day (United States)
11/30 St. Andrew’s Day
9/29 Michaelmas/Feast of Archangel Michael and of all Angels

Dates Important to Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups
9/1 Start of WW2
9/7 Rosh Hashana (Jewish New Year, Day of Judgement)
9/16 Yom Kippur (Jewish Day of Atonement)
9/21 – 9/27 Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles, Jewish harvest festival)
10/12 Hitler’s alternate half birthday (Note: Hitler was born on Easter, so Nazis celebrate his actual half-birthday, 10/20, and his alternate half-birthdate six months after Easter, which falls on 4/12 this year.)
10/20 Hitler’s half birthday
10/16 Death of Rosenburg
10/12 10/19 Death of Goering
10/31 Halloween
11/9 Kristallnacht
11/29 -12/16 Chanukah/Hanukkah (Jewish Festival of Lights)
(NOTE: Not all groups meet on Jewish or Christian holidays. Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lammas, Halloween, the solstices and the equinoxes.)

Ritual Abuse Causes Early Physical Aging

* You can find more information on the following holidays at:

Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 1: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/08/31/the-feast-of-the-beast/
Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 2: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/feast-of-the-beast-part-ii/
Fall Equinox: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/the-fall-equinox/
Halloween (personal): https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/halloween/
Halloween (background): https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/samhainhalloween/
Thanksgiving: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/11/20/thanksgiving/
Yule/Winter Solstice: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/yulewinter-solstice/
Candlemas: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/candlemas/
Valentine’s Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/02/10/valentines-day/
Spring Equinox: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/the-spring-equinox/
Easter: personal (for background, see Spring Equinox): https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2014/04/21/easter-blues/
Walpurgisnacht/May Eve: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/04/20/walpurgisnacht/
Beltane: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/beltane/
Mothers’ Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/04/26/mothers-day/
Fathers’ Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2020/06/20/ritual-abuse-and-fathers-day/
Summer Solstice (corrected text): https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/06/15/well-this-is-embarrassing/
Lammas: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/category/lamas/
and Lammas: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/august-ritual-dates/

~~~~~~~~~~

It seems that every couple of years, I read about another deleterious effect of abuse that shows up years after the actual abuse has stopped. Just last week, I got another opportunity to rant – or rather, to process my righteous anger –  about how ritual abuse ravages our bodies in so many different ways.

What set me off was an article in an email newsletter I get from Harvard. Apparently, childhood violence (but not neglect) sets processes in motion that make victims age faster. They aren’t talking about chronic diseases like lupus, arthritis of all sorts, diabetes, or addictions, all of which often shorten the life span significantly, This is on a cellular level!

Here’s the Harvard Gazette summary of: Colich, Natalie L., Rosen, Maya L., Williams, Eileen S., and McLaughlin, Katie A. “Biological Aging in Childhood and Adolescence Following Experiences of Threat and Deprivation: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis.” American Psychological Association, Psychological Bulletin, 8/3/2020 DOI: 10.1037/bul0000270: https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2020/08/violence-and-trauma-in-childhood-accelerate-puberty/?utm_source=SilverpopMailing&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Daily%20Gazette%2020200805%20(1) .

This appears to be the original article in its entirety; complete, interesting, very long, and very complex. https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/bul-bul0000270.pdf .

The authors found that violence in childhood causes early puberty. It also shortens telomeres, the part of the chromosome at the ends, which protects them from deterioration. Essentially, this means that chromosomes will wear out earlier.

I don’t really understand this part of early aging, so I’ll just quote from the article.

“Another area was epigenetic aging metrics, in which patterns of methylation across the genome can be used to estimate a person’s chronological age. Again, children who experienced violence showed accelerated epigenetic aging markers compared with their chronological age, indicating that their cells aged more quickly than expected.”

But that’s not all. In childhood, the outer parts of the brain thin, and the number of connections between the neurons diminishes. The brains of children living with violence thinned faster than those of the other children, especially in areas that process social situations and emotional information.

This means that the brain has adapted to being tuned in to situations that present a threat and is less focussed on situations that are not dangerous. No wonder, as adults, that we are hypervigilant and anxious and have trouble developing trusting relationships.

It’s just not fair. When you escape, you should be rewarded with a healthy body that doesn’t hurt, as well as a spirit full of hope and determination. Plus not just self-esteem, but pride at being able to get free of their clutches. I think this is the least you could ask for, the least you should expect.

Well, we all know it doesn’t work that way. Torture damages body, mind, and spirit, and you are left with the challenge of figuring out just what the damage is and what can be done about it. They made the mess, and you get the job of cleaning it up.

By you, I mean you and I and all survivors. Not a single one of us gets a fair shake. As I say when I am really furious, this sucks toad tits.

~~~~~~~~~~

Here’s a list of other blog entries on physical problems and ritual abuse:

Depression, Obesity, and Inflammation
https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/08/18/depression-obesity-and-inflammation/

PTSD and Dementia
https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2014/04/10/ptsd-and-dementia/

Things on My Mind This Week (Ritual Abuse Correlated with Ovarian Cancer)
https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2019/09/10/%e2%80%a8ritual-abuse-things-on-my-mind-this-week/

Stress, Cortisol, Eating, and Meditation
https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/stress-cortisol-eating-and-meditation/

~~~~~~~~~~

Upcoming Holidays

August
8/24 St. Bartholomew’s Day
September
9/1 Full moon
9/5 – 9/7 Feast of the Beast/Marriage of the Beast
9/7 Labor Day (United States)
9/22 Fall Equinox
9/29 Michaelmas/Feast of Archangel Michael and of all Angels
October
10/1 Full moon
10/12 Columbus Day (?)
10/13 Backward Halloween
10/31 Full moon (Blue Moon)
10/31 Halloween/start of Celtic New Year/start of the dark half of the year

Dates Important to Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups
10/4 Hitler’s alternate half birthday
10/20 Hitler’s half birthday
10/16 Death of Rosenburg
10/19 Death of Goering
10/31 Halloween
(NOTE: Not all groups meet on Jewish or Christian holidays. Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lammas, Halloween, the solstices and the equinoxes.)

I’ve Learned How to Have Mixed Feelings

On February 9, I will be presenting “Ritual Abuse 101: Recognizing and Treating Survivors” at An Infinite Mind’s conference in Orlando, Florida. Therapists, survivors (including those who are wondering if they have a ritual abuse or government mind control background), and support people are all welcome.

Interesting reading and beautiful photographs: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2020/jan/29/amateur-stargazers-capture-new-form-of-northern-lights. The original article, for all you science nerds: “Citizen Scientists Discover a New Auroral Form: Dunes Provide Insight Into the Upper Atmosphere.” M. Palmroth et al., Advancing Earth and Space Science, 10.1029/2019. https://agupubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1029/2019AV000133. 


Please take good care of yourself on Candlemas. It’s easy to forget it is a Satanic holiday because it isn’t in your face, like Halloween, and so it can be hard to figure out why you are having a hard time. Here is some background on the holiday: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/candlemas/

Information on other spring holidays:

Valentine’s Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/02/10/valentines-day/
Walpurgis Day: There is some information about St. Walpurga at https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/04/20/walpurgisnacht/
Spring Equinox: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/the-spring-equinox/
Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 1: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/08/31/the-feast-of-the-beast/
Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 2: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/feast-of-the-beast-part-ii/
Easter: personal. (for background, see Spring Equinox) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2014/04/21/easter-blues/
Walpurgisnacht/May Eve: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/04/20/walpurgisnacht/

~~~~~

Boy, life can be a real roller coaster. Up, down, sideways, backward and forward, sometimes one direction at a time, sometimes pretty much all at once.

I’m still full of amazement from the Alaska trip. I’m also pretty amazed that I was able to post the photos here and change the header. What a gorgeous picture that is! Next time I am feeling technologically venturesome, I will try to use it for my desktop wallpaper. If that works, then maybe I’ll try it on the phone, too.

I’m pleased with myself because I’ve finished the handouts for the presentation I’m giving at the Infinite Mind’s conference. Just one final proofing and checking all the links, and it’s a wrap. I’ve calmed down considerably about the presentation itself because I have thought of most of the things that could go wrong and figured to how I might handle them. Now all I have to do is trust that I am inventive enough to handle something I haven’t thought of! Worst comes to worst, I can always say, “Oh, this is terrible! I don’t know what to do – does anybody have any suggestions?” That wouldn’t be the end of the world, would it?

Now here is a big downer. I have an elderly cat who was in pretty good health until a few days ago. His appetite was great, he was running around like a teenager, and he looked good. I was grateful for every moment, even the most annoying ones. Like deciding in the middle of the night that he absolutely had to walk in circles around my face, pulling my hair at every opportunity.

One day, however, he started to vomit a lot – a very lot. He’d had a horrible bout of pancreatitis four years ago, and it sure looked like a recurrence to me. That illness had been a nightmare: he hadn’t eaten on his own for three whole weeks and we had to force-feed him. At his age, I didn’t want to put him through that again. Preparing myself for the worst, I made a vet appointment and crossed my fingers.

The vet hospitalized him, did a bunch of blood work, and put him on IV rehydration. The blood work showed acute pancreatitis. The next day the vet called to say he was doing well and could come home in a day or so when he was eating on his own. It wasn’t that bad, after all. Otherwise, he was in great shape for an old man. Whew!

However, there was a second big downer waiting for me. That same day I started to copy his symptoms. I knew I was very attached to him, but did I have to be attached in that particular way? Yes, it seemed I did. After vomiting for four hours, I feared I too was getting dehydrated, and so I called my primary care physician’s office and talk to the triage nurse, who covers after hours. She said that it indeed sounded like I was dehydrated, and, before I knew it, I was in the hospital on IV rehydration. It was just food poisoning or stomach flu, not pancreatitis, thank goodness. I alternated between being mad at the situation and finding it hilarious.

I got home the day before the cat did, still feeling rotten, I passed the time doing on-line jigsaw puzzles and crosswords, watching videos of baby otters eating lunch, and other sorts of deep mental exertion. I also found that there are two non-profits where I live that are seeking foster homes for elderly cats. They will pay for food and medical care and even supply rides to the vet! If anything should happen to my kitty, fostering, under those circumstances, would be ideal.

He is home now, and he doesn’t feel so great, either. He lost a lot of weight, doesn’t have much appetite, and has thrown up a couple of times. At least he’s drinking water. We’ll soon see if he is out of the woods or not.

In the olden days, one bad experience would completely wipe out any number of recent good experiences. Life was dismal, always had been, and always would be. I could remember what it was like to feel terrible when I was feeling good, but I couldn’t remember what it was like to feel good when I was feeling terrible.

I am SO GLAD I can hold good and bad experiences in my consciousness simultaneously!!!!! I can actually feel happy and sad at the same time. I’m not sure how I learned to do this, but I did. Perhaps it was grimly writing gratitude lists. Even though I approached the task with a sneer, it forced me to think about the wonderful things in my life. I still couldn’t feel any joy, but I could intellectually see that life wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.

Perhaps it was two opposite parts of me coming together in a kind of subconscious integration. If so, that is pretty nifty! I no longer have to deny the bad to feel pleasure in the good, and I no longer have to give up feeling good to honor my pain. I can have both at once.

In the past, I could switch quickly from one state to the other, but I couldn’t be in both states at the same time. It looked like mixed feelings, but it really wasn’t, because my emotions were sorted into separate piles and not allowed to touch each other. Now there is only one pile, labeled “emotions,” and every possible emotion in the world is welcome to join at any time. Nothing needs to be excluded, nothing needs to be denied. There is no conflict, no desperate, “But what do I really feel?” It’s very peaceful.

~~~~


Upcoming Holidays

February
2/2 Candlemas/Imbolc/Satanic Revels
2/8 Full moon
2/14 Valentine’s Day
2/25 Shrove Tuesday/Mardi Gras
2/25 Walpurgis Day
2/26 Ash Wednesday
 March 
3/1 St. Eichstadt’s Day
3/9 Full moon
3/13 Friday the Thirteenth
3/17 Spring Equinox
3/17 St. Patrick’s Day
3/24 Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan
April
4/1 April Fool´s Day
4/5 Palm Sunday
4/7 Full moon
4/8 Day of the Masters
4/9 Maundy Thursday (commemoration of the Last Super)
4/10 Good Friday
4/11 Holy Saturday
4/12 Easter Sunday
4/26 Grand Climax/De Meur
4/30 Walpurgisnacht/May Eve

Dates Important to Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups
1/30 Hitler named Chancellor of Germany
2/10 Tu Bishvat/Tu B’Shevat (celebration of spring)
(NOTE: Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lammas, Halloween, the solstices and the equinoxes. Not all groups meet on Jewish holidays.)