Halloween is finally here. It is particularly intense this year because there is a full moon. Not only that, it’s a Blue Moon! (A Blue Moon is the second full moon to occur in a month.)

Please try to take super good care of yourself. Stay as safe as you possibly can; be aware of your surroundings, shield yourself from triggers, stay in touch with safe people, and remember your terrified parts and try to soothe them.


I feel I have been spending a lot of time being angry at the lasting physical harm ritual abuse causes us: it’s not over when it is over. At least I have been spending a lot of time writing about it! I have also been spending a lot of time hand-washing the delicate rayon and gauzy cotton summer clothes I love so and digging out warmer clothes from the obscure places I put them last spring. And the cat has been barfing in odd places, a little here, a little there. I am quite aware that I cannot blame everything on the cult.

Something different caught my attention, something I had never heard of. Somebody told me about “DeprogramWiki: Identifying and Deprogramming Undetectable Mind Controls.” I don’t know enough about government/military mind control because my mind control experiences were very, very different. My mind was simply used as a blackboard to sketch out programming systems and see which ones looked promising.

This site is a fountain of information (and some misinformation.) I’ve been sampling different parts of the site, reading a little here, a little there. Except for svali’s latest book, “It’s Not Impossible,” which I have been reading start to finish – well, middle to start to middle, back to reading something I had already read, to middle, and finally to finish.

About the books – I do know that svali gave permission to publish her latest book, but I don’t know if Fritz Springmeier or other authors of copyrighted material reproduced here did. This bothers me as a librarian wannabe.

All of Springmeier’s books are available for download – “The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Total Mind Control Slave,” “Deeper Insights into the Illuminati Formula,” and “Bloodlines of the Illuminati.” If you choose to read these books, be prepared for anti-gay and anti-Semitic material. Use your own experiences and your best judgment in deciding what to believe. Having said that, there is much of value in his work.

In addition to svali’s book, links to all of her blog posts (as far as I can tell) are on DeprogramWiki. They were taken down for several years, and there was no trace of her on the Internet. When she resurfaced, I wrote a blog post about her so others could benefit from her work. Here it is: 

Now, this is very funny. I reread my post, and guess what! I knew about DeprogramWiki back in 2017! I was so happy to find svali that I skipped right over the rest of the material in DeprogramWiki. I’m not embarrassed about forgetting things anymore, so I am not going to rewrite anything to hide my un-remembering. 

I come by my leaky memory honorably. It is a battle scar.

Take your time exploring DeprogramWiki. Mind control programming and deprogramming are heavy-duty reading, and it’s easy to freak yourself out. Me, I am protected from freaking out when I read about mind control. 

How do I do it? It helps that I did not live through these things, for the most part. It is horrendous, but it doesn’t cause flashbacks. When something is too heavy, I simply forget what I read, sentence by sentence. It doesn’t make for productive studying, but it sure is an effective defense.


Here is the Table of Contents of DeprogramWiki. I have eliminated the descriptions of the entries because I did not find them all that helpful. In order to save you frustration, I have also taken out all entries that are not currently on the Web. If you find a page that is on DeprogramWiki but not on the Web, go to and enter the url in the Wayback Machine.


PDF Resources and Downloads
Ritual Abuse and Mind Control – Manipulation of Attachment Needs (PDF Download
Chainless Slaves (PDF Download
Ritual Abuse and Torture in Australia 2006 (PDF Download)
Its Not Impossible – Svali (PDF Download)

Other Links to Blogs and Websites
From the Inside Out 
Surviving Ritual Abuse at Australia
Breaking the Circle of Satanic Ritual Abuse – (Excerpt from the book, plus links to many other mind control pages.)
Ritual Abuse and Mind Control—Kathleen Sullivan
Menawa – Ritual Abuse & How to Heal
Some Indicators of Trauma-Based Mind Control Programming
S.M.A.R.T Healing from Ritual Abuse and Mind Control – From a presentation by Carol Rutz.
Tu’ Takana’s Blog Spot  MK Ultra Survivor – Anya Brigg’s bog
Project MKUltra
Ultra Mk Universal Super Soldier Program
clandestine rage revealed 
End Ritual Abuse 
Inner Peace after Satanic Ritual Abuse
Account of “Brice Taylor” and her daughter “Kelly” (and account of Cathy O’Brien)
THE GREENBAUM SPEECH of D.C.HAMMOND (“Hypnosis in MPD: Ritual Abuse”) 
Wikipedia: Satanic Ritual Abuse
CIA MKULTRA Collection – The Black Vault
Central Intelligence Agency collection : Internet Archive
List of 149 MKULTRA Subprojects (
The People’s History: MK-ULTRA: The CIA and Mind Control
Project Bluebird: Deliberate Creation of Multiple Personality by Psychiatrists by Colin A. Ross M.D. (10-Page Summary)
The Search for the Manchurian Candidate: The CIA and Mind Control: The Secret History of the Behavioral Sciences by John D. Marks (read online at, and in PDF
Mind Control Summary: The Secrets of Mind Control Based on Three Books by Top Mind Control Researchers
CIA Mind Control Experiments
5 Most Shocking CIA Experiments of Project MKULTRA – YouTube
Programmed to Kill by David McGovern (overview)
Programmed to Kill: The Politics of Serial Murder by David McGowan (pdf)</a
Operation Midnight Climax – Wikispooks
Monarch Project | The Conspiracy Wiki
Project Monarch: Nazi Mind Control by Ron Patton
Monarch: The New Phoenix Program (Documentary)
Monarch The New Phoenix Program by Marshall Thomas
Origins and Techniques of Monarch Mind Control – The Vigilant Citizen
Trance-Formation of America by Mark Philips and Cathy O’Brien (PDF)
Thanks For The Memories: The Memoirs of Bob Hope’s and Henry 
Kissinger’s Mind-Controlled Slave by Brice Taylor
The World of Mind Control Through the Eyes of an Artist with 13 Alter Personas (Kim Noble)
[Original Content] MK-ULTRA: The CIA’s research program into ‘Biological Behavioral Engineering’, AKA Mind Control. PART 1: Introduction, Brainwashing, and the Society for the Investigation of Human Ecology
[Original Content] MK-ULTRA: The CIA’s research program into ‘Biological Behavioral Engineering’, AKA Mind Control. PART 2: Unwitting Testing, Entrapment, and the Personality Assessment System
[Original Content] MK-ULTRA: The CIA’s research program into ‘Biological Behavioral Engineering’, AKA Mind Control. PART 3: Hypnotism
original MKULTRA document detailing basic hypnosis techniques (PDF)
original MKULTRA document detailing experiments in hypnotizing children into planting and arming bombs (PDF)
original MKULTRA document describing the creation of a mind controlled killer (PDF)
original Project Artichoke document describing a U.S. government human experimentation program (PDF)


Upcoming Holidays

10/31 Full moon (Blue Moon)
10/31 Halloween/start of Celtic New Year/start of the dark half of the year
11/1 All Saints’ Day
11/2 All Souls’ Day
11/11 Veterans’ Day (?)
11/13 Friday the thirteenth
11/26 Thanksgiving Day (United States)
11/30 Full moon
11/30 St Andrew’s Day
Sundays of advent: 11/28, 12/5, 12/12, 12/19
12/4 Total Solar Eclipse
12/14 Total solar eclipse. Totality will be visible in Chile and parts of Argentina. Partial eclipse will be visible in southern South America and south-east Africa. See
12/18 Full Moon
12/21 Winter solstice/Yule/St. Thomas’ Day
12/24 Christmas Eve
12/5 Christmas Day
12/29 Full moon
12/31 New Year’s Eve

Dates Important to Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups
11/29 -12/16 Chanukah/Hanukkah  (Jewish Festival of Lights)
(NOTE: Not all groups meet on Jewish holidays. Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lammas, Halloween, the solstices, and the equinoxes.)


* How to add a comment after a post This blog’s design makes it hard to figure out how to comment. Go down to the bottom of the post (after the calendar) You will see in light grey type: “RATE THIS” tagged (a list of the tags) (the number of) comments” Click on the word “comments” to open all posted comments.

At the very bottom of the page, you will see “LEAVE A REPLY.” That’s where you make a new comment. You can reply to a posted comment by clicking “Reply” under that comment. In each case, make sure to click “POST COMMENT” when you are finished. It’s a good idea to write out your comment first and then paste it in so that you don’t risk losing what you wrote.

* You can find more information on the following holidays at: 

Halloween {personal)
Halloween (background)
Yule/Winter Solstice 
Valentine’s Day
Spring Equinox
Easter: (personal) For background, see Spring Equinox
Walpurgisnacht/May Eve:
Mothers’ Day:
Fathers’ Day:
Summer Solstice (corrected text)
Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 1
Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 2
Fall Equinox


Book Review: Dear Little Ones

Dear Little Ones: Dissociative Identity Disorder for Young Alters. Written by Jade Miller and illustrated by Germán Zaninetti. CreateSpace, 2015. Available from Createspace and Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats.

Jade is a blogger and an artist. She is a polyfragmented Satanic ritual abuse survivor who wrote this book to help all inner children who are lonely and scared.

Germán Zaninetti is an illustrator living in Argentina. He prefers to work on mythological themes (mostly Greek and Egyptian), but also feels comfortable with child themes.

It’s hard for me to review this book. I would rather just quote the whole thing so that you can see how gentle and loving it is. Frankly, it brings tears to my eyes.

What I like best about the book is that it empowers child alters. Often decisions are made for them by more powerful alters, by the part currently in charge, or by a therapist or other helper. Hopefully those decisions are made with love and caring, so that the child alters can experience some healthy reparenting. But their lack of power when other people are telling them what to do can’t help but be a repetition of a large part of the cult experience.

Jade takes a really different approach. She starts by telling the child alters that it wasn’t their fault. “No matter what happened, no matter what anyone told you, it was not your fault.” And she tells them how wonderful they are.

She then explains the creation of alters. “But because of those things that happened, other people needed to be born on the inside in order to help the body stay alive.”  Some stayed young, others grew older. She tells the child alters they get to choose whether they grow older or stay the same.

Jade suggests that they explore inside and see if they can find other children to be friends with, older people to help them and explain things to them. She tells them she might find scary people inside, too. They are trying to help in their own way. She suggests that the children be kind to them because they are hurting, too. “In time, as people are nice to them, they will feel better and learn other ways to help and how to be friends.”

That’s true. If inside people are nice to parts that frighten them, those parts change. But I have never heard (that I remember) anyone telling child alters that they can do this, even without a PhD. Talk about empowerment!

After explaining outside people who are helpers and giving the child alters suggestions on how to stay grounded when they feel overwhelmed, Jade comes back to the theme of choice. They get to choose things that make them feel better.

The ending is like a blessing: “I wish all and only good things for you as you continue to take steps that will bring you into a life of truth and joy and peace.

I am with you in my heart, and I am cheering for you.

Love, Jade”

Jade and friends
Jade and friends

You can get to know Jade at her blog:  and her Facebook page:  If you want to write her, her address is

You can email Germán at

Book Review: A Coloring Book of Healing Images for Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

You can read the introduction and order the book through

The year ends on a high note for wonderful RA/MC books!!!

This book was a good five years in the making and it is absolutely gorgeous. The paper is really heavy, so you can use watercolor pencils or pastels as well as crayons and colored pencils. That’s inviting for adult and teens parts as well as child parts, who usually get to do all the coloring. (Not fair!)

The book is designed for all survivors of child abuse, but there are many sections that speak directly to multiplicity and ritual abuse. It’s hoped that it will tap into the immense inner strength and wisdom that survivors possess and to help make these resources recognized at a deeper level, cherished, and celebrated in all aspects of life and self.

There are seventeen chapters, each organized around a theme like safety, self-soothing, separating from the abusers, self-love, and spirituality. The chapters contain a few pages describing the theme, lists of healing ideas, and suggestions for creative activities.

Then come the images themselves, each with a self-affirmation.

The author is Ellen Lacter, who started off as an art therapist and became a clinical psychologist and Certified Play Therapist-Supervisor. She has worked with abused children and adult survivors — many of whom are survivors of ritual abuse — for over thirty years, She is a prolific writer — take a look at all the articles on her webpage. (

Two artists illustrated the book. Robin Baird Lewis has illustrated many children’s books. Her 1982 Canadian classic, Red is Best, has been in print for thirty years. She also, among other things, teaches crafts at children’s camps and paints murals. You can see a small sample of her work at

Art was an integral part of Jen Callow’s healing process from ritual abuse. Today, she creates for self-expression and joy as well as healing and is thrilled to be able to contribute to others’ healing through this book. Jen is also a contributor to Alison Miller’s books, Healing the Unimaginable: Treating Ritual Abuse and Mind Control and Becoming Yourself: Overcoming Mind Control and Ritual Abuse. Although she does not currently have a website, this may change in the future.

This review cries out for an illustration, so here’s a page from the chapter on Self-Love. The affirmation for the illustration:

Honoring the Gifts That Come from the Abuse That I Have Endured

Because of my abuse, I have depth, complexity, sensitivity to others, spiritual resources, and wisdom beyond my years.

Robin and Ellen gave permission for you to print out and color it if you think it would advance your healing. Enjoy!

However, I could not figure out how to do this. If you can, please tell us in the comment section. I also uploaded it to my website but I can’t figure out how to download it there, either. Can’t be good at everything, you know. Try this