Sorry, Folks
I finally did it. I spilled coffee all over my keyboard. And, boy, did I freak out! It was the final, the absolutely final straw. (Don’t ask!) But now I have a new one, and as soon as I figured out how to turn it on, it worked! The whole day was shot, however, because I ran around shrieking like a crazed weasel and didn’t get a damn thing done. So this post has no theme, just little bits and pieces of (hopefully) interesting things.
The New Blog Will Be Here Soon!
My wonderful sweet Web Manager tells me that it is almost finished and that it is time for her to start teaching me how to use it. She is very patient with me, and that makes me feel secure. In the past, I figured things out by myself, and it seemed like it took forever. Now I have friends who are more at ease with technology than I am and who have helped me with ZOOM and Google Docs. My Web Manager assures me it’s easier than WordPress, which gets more complicated every day. She says it’s actually fun! That is not a word that comes to mind when I think of WordPress.
So sometime in April, the blog will move to SquareSpace. This one will remain up so that people can look through the archives. The last post on WordPress will explain all this, and there will be a notice on the SquareSpace blog telling people about the old blog.
I’ve decided that I want to repost – or maybe rewrite – the most popular of the WordPress articles. And, in honor of thirteen years of blogging, the very first article post on WordPress will also be the first post on SquareSpace. I’m getting excited!
Healing Often Isn’t Much Fun
I found Fanny Priest’s blog, and I like it a lot. She doesn’t seem to be a CSA survivor, pretty certainly not an RA or MC survivor. Yet so much resonates with me. https://resourced.substack.com/p/healing-isnt-supposed-to-feel-good?publication_id=946996&post_id=108188161&isFreemail=true
Here are two quotes from a post on becoming a mother that speak to me today, even though my issues are different. I often feel this way as I try to practice self-care in the midst of my struggle to understand and live with my past in a better way.
“Healing – in the context of trauma, at least – is about shifting deep underlying patterns of protection towards patterns of connection. It’s about naming, interrogating, interrupting, and ultimately transforming patterns that have held us firm to the belief that our bodies are bad, that our feelings are too much, that our needs don’t matter, that our worth is tied to our productivity, that our humanity is dependent on our proximity to power. And, more often than not, this kind of healing – the deep, lasting kind, the kind that transforms lives and communities – totally feels like shit.”
“Finding small moments of joy in the midst of struggle is an act of resistance.”
Those precious moments of joy (and peace, understanding, and compassion) remind me that healing is, indeed, worth every moment of pain and struggle.
The Trafficking Conference Videos Are Available!
Just a reminder – these presentations tell the truth about our lives. They are both heavy and inspiring and can also be very triggering.
“The Interface Between Sex Trafficking, Ritual Abuse (RA), and Mind Control (MC) Programming.”
Part 1: The panelists, ranging in age from 58 to 85, were all introduced to sex trafficking by their families. Their experiences ranged from being exploited by a local group of pedophiles to global elite child sex trafficking rings. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=855pdTCJ4_s
Part 2: Panelists describe their escape and entry into healing, how their abusers attempted to maintain control, signs and symptoms specific to their ritual abuse and mind control programming, and share their recovery process and work for the survivor community. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4asQx4cecI
Spencer May Not Be the Ideal Cat, But I Love Him
I read up on Turkish Vans on Wikipedia. The part on breed history and genetics was quite interesting. The section on behavior was upsetting. If I had read it before I started window shopping for adoptable Vans, I might not have fallen in love with a photo and ended up with Spencer. But he is here, and he is gorgeous, and I am in love with him, and that’s that.
From Wikipedia: (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkish_Van)
“The TICA standard[9] notes several characteristics, including their high intelligence, energy and playfulness – also making them somewhat mischievous. Muscular and highly driven, they like to climb and perch high up, to study their environment, and they get around their domain with impressive athleticism. They make quite successful hunters as a consequence. Their drive makes them easily trainable with positive reinforcement – to play fetch, do tricks or walk on a leash. Although there may be efforts to move the breed towards greater sociability.[2] a 2021 study in Finland[10] did find that the Turkish Vans in their research showed higher than average tendencies towards fearfulness, aggression towards humans, as well as a lower stress tolerance (notable excessive grooming and litter-box problems), and lower sociability to humans and cats.
Curious, Turkish Vans want to be with their owner participating in whatever is happening, and so they may follow a person from room to room.[9] While Turkish vans are affectionate to their family members, these are not normally lap cats. They may lie next to their owners and will happily allow themselves to be petted, but this is not a breed that tolerates being picked up and often wants to be near their owner, not on their owner.[11]”
The Finnish study link was clickable. The charts do, indeed, show that Turkish Vans are near the top in terms of playfulness and activity. However, they score very high in fearfulness and are by far the most aggressive toward humans. They are way below average in sociability toward humans and the least sociable with other cats. They have litter box problems and other neurotic behaviors when stressed – and they get easily stressed.
That’s my kitty cat!
Coordinating Medical Care
I’m searching for somebody to help me coordinate all the doctors treating the many diseases I have collected over the years. I know lots of us have chronic conditions, and I am sure a fair number of us find it hard to get the doctors working together, especially when there are no team meetings. It’s hard enough to have a chronic illness, but finding the time and energy to deal with doctors, hospitals, and insurance companies can feel impossible.
Here are two national directories to help you deal with medical problems.
1. National Association of Health Care Advisors https://nahac.com/
This association offers healthcare coordination to people of all ages. To find somebody near you, click “Directory of Advocates” on the footer.
2. Aging Life Care Associates https://www.aginglifecare.org
A large organization of certified professionals dedicated to helping seniors lead a fulfilling, self-directed life as long as possible. Among its resources are a blog, newsletters, and a peer-reviewed journal. When I entered my zip code, I received the name of 25 members within a 15-mile radius. They offered a variety of services, not just medical care coordination.
Ritual Abuse 
Dear Jean, greetings from Ireland. I have just listened to both those links on YouTube that you shared in your email.Lovly to put a face to your bubbly,playful and witty personality. lm glad l sat and listened to both and have the opportunity now to rest for the afternoon as my own memories have been stiring again lately and your testimony and the testimonies of the other ladies have given me the courage to look at them. It is interesting looking back and how my behaviors told my story before I voiced it . Thanks again for your bravery…shirley xx
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Greetings from 5,000 miles away! Thank you for viewing the videos and for sharing your reaction. I still am triggered by seeing myself in these particular videos and by the memories of how hard to plan and make them was, every step of the way. Issues stemmed from the child porn days, not from the cult. I’m so glad it is helping you work through your memories at a deeper level.
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Jean, Thank you for your posts. I’m sorry about spilling coffee on your computer. That would have driven me crazy so I understand why that upset you! Glad it all worked out. Jean, thank you for posting the videos about the trafficking conference. I found the link initially on the listserv for RAMCOA, I believe. I watched most of it and found it very helpful and wanted to share it with a client, but then I went back to find the link and couldn’t find it again. That always drives me crazy so I’m so thankful you posted the link again. I’m an older therapist in Virginia who works with trauma and DID. I worked with children for years and have only been working with adults for about 10 years. Your posts about special RA days on the calendar are a.so helpful to me. Thanks again. Joy Joyce C Morene, LPC14 S Auburn AvenueRichmond, VA. 23221
Sent from the all new AOL app for iOS
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Dear Joy: Now that I have calmed down, I realize that a coffee spill once in 30 years isn’t too awful. Of course, the freak-out was fueled by emotions stirred up by other things as well. Felt so good afterwards!
The link would be easier to find if the conference had a shorter name. Perhaps I should just list it in every post. I’m glad the videos and the calendar are helpful. Which reminds me, I have to get the 2023 one done before it is 2024. The problem is that I have been doing it for so long that I am thoroughly bored.
I’m curious, why did you move from treating children to adults?
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Jean, thanks for your reply and the. link to the videos from human trafficking video. Yes, I loved working with children. I taught for 5 years and was a school counselor for almost twenty years. I then received my license and worked with children in a community mental health center for about 12 years. When I began my private practice later in life I initially worked with children. I began to find it difficult to maintain work with children due to having to schedule after school hours and maintaining the time needed for contact with parents, schools, foster care staff, etc. in an agency you could bill for case management, but much more difficult to do that in private practice. So I continued mostly with adults.
Have a good rest of the week. Joy
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It’s discouraging to hear that a bureaucratic decision can make you give up a life-long dedication to working with children. I hope you are liking treating adults now!
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