I realize, today, that I thought I had posted this and I hadn’t. I’m not sure why – it may have been the subject, it may have been Candlemas, it may have been brain fog from low blood pressure, or it may have been all of the above. Whatever the explanation, I am sorry.
Tech Challenges: SEO and Platforms
I made a commitment to check out SquareSpace. I’m in luck – a friend has an account and has offered to show me how it works. She also said she could format things I write and then export them into my blog. I have not decided to commit to making a change. I have, though, made a commitment to explore alternatives. It’s open-ended – no deadline!
As for SEO, I am hoping to find something that is written in clear English for beginners. I have a feeling I could do a few simple things to make my page more appealing to the search engines, but what I really need is somebody who knows what they are doing. As Bob Dylan said, “It ain’t me, babe, it ain’t me you’re looking for.”
I woke up in the middle of the night to muffled banging. I looked around, and, with what ambient light I had, found the source of the strange noise.
It was Spencer doing acrobatics on the cat tree. There is a hole in the top layer, and he was doing circles around the perimeter of the hole. Across, down, across, up, across, down, across, up again. The whole time, his tail was waving around like a dog’s. If it’s for balance, it doesn’t work very well, because he often loses his grip. Sometimes he catches himself, sometimes he has to turn in midair to land on the floor on all four feet. When he saw that I was watching, he stopped and sat quietly on the top tier, next to the hole, radiating dignity.
I was reading blogs randomly and came across “Blooming Lotus: Journey to Recovery from Childhood Abuse” by Faith Allen. Among the categories, polyfragmentation first caught my attention, then animal rape. There is a lot about polyfragmentation in my blog, but not a single mention of animal rape. So I figured it was about time to write about it.
This may be more graphic than usual. It also may have a more immediate effect on you, as it is not a topic that is often talked about. Breaking a secret is always huge!
Animal rape shouldn’t be confused with bestiality, which is sex between humans and animals. Forty-eight of the fifty states have laws against having sex with an animal; New Mexico, West Virginia, and the District of Columbia lack laws. (This article has interesting information on laws and sentencing in all the states. https://www.animallaw.info/topic/table-state-animal-sexual-assault-laws)
Bestiality is usually practiced alone, but sometimes in group settings, such as during cult activities. When Googling, a fair number of comedy pieces appear, and also a lot of music. I didn’t listen to any, so I can’t tell you anything about it, except that the covers are pretty gory.
I had not heard the term “animal rape” before reading Faith’s blog, although I instantly knew what it was. It means forced sexual contact with an animal, not attacking an animal sexually. It can occur in any setting where other forms of child rape occur.
Since rape means forcing sex upon another against their will, it seems pretty clear to me that humans can rape animals. But can animals rape humans? I don’t think animals are tuned in to humans enough to know whether sex, on the human’s part, is willing or non-willing. So I would say, no, animals can’t rape humans.
Certainly, an animal may be used by a human to rape another human – that is, to have sex against the second person’s will. This is what we are talking about in the context of healing from ritual abuse: training an animal to have sex with a child. Most often it is a dog who is used this way.
It is a horribly traumatic experience for a child. And what they tell the child during or after the rape can fill them with self-loathing, terror, disgust, and lies. They may be told that they are now possessed by the animal and that its spirit has entered their body and will never leave. A girl may be told that the animal’s sperm will live inside her for the rest of her life and that later she will give birth to that animal’s children. The “animal’s spirit” may be assigned all sorts of destructive jobs to benefit the cult, jobs such as killing, raping, stalking somebody, or simply telling when the child is disobedient.
Animal rape is especially hard to deal with because there is so much shame and revulsion attached to the memories. The subject is taboo – it’s just not talked about. The isolation feels insuperable. This secret is a heavy burden everywhere, even among other survivors.
I don’t recall being raped by any mammals and I do not have a trauma response when I see a dog, even the few times I have seen dogs mating.
I do, however, have a memory of being raped as a preschooler with a snake. I think it may have been a trick because I cannot imagine how a snake could be persuaded to enter a child’s body. At the time, I believed that milk had been placed inside me and that the snake was hungry and went after the milk. But snakes do not drink milk. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense, either, that I remember feeling sorry for the snake’s suffering, not for my own. Where was the fear and revulsion?
Another reason I do not believe it was a real snake is that I have no fear of snakes. I have always liked snakes (and skinks, lizards, turtles, toads, frogs, and baby crocodiles) and am not afraid to handle them. There are some memories that I probably will never fully understand, and this is one of them.
I have no idea what percentage of children are abused using animals to rape them during rituals or training. I do know that it is far more common than we realize. Some of you may be shocked that I’m talking about it, and some may be relieved to know that somebody is talking about it at long last. Faith was the groundbreaker, but few, if any, followed her in print or on the Internet.
If animal rape has been part of your abuse, I think you may find the entries listed on this page – https://faithallen.wordpress.com/?s=animal+rape – validating and supportive. The comments are also very helpful.
Faith writes about a good experience she had processing her experiences on a message board named “isurvive.” https://www.isurvive.org/forum/. (I have been on it, too, and I liked it.) Most of the other resources she cites are no longer available. You might try looking them up on the WayBack Machine at archives.org
If you know of other resources, it would be great if you could share them in the comments section.
18 thoughts on “Animal Rape”
* got a notice saying this was the comment from you, it. “An Apology I realize, today, that I thought I had posted this and I hadn’t. I’m not sure why – it may have been the subject, …”
Please don’t feel it’s you. WordPress has been messing with my head, and ffraid’s, too. The subject could very well factor in, too.
Thanks for discussing this Jean! I think it needs more exposure! Even therapists don’t know a lot about it, at least, Mine doesnt!
I was so lucky on having a therapist who had other clients who had experienced this, but suspect she is one of relatively few. Fortunately she’s very involved now in training other trauma therapists, and I hope she will include the darker horrors which can happen…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you were so lucky, it’s good when therapist know these things 🌻
LikeLiked by 1 person
I avoided answering this,it makes me wanna throw up. Too many,any memories of this is too much,not just bestiality, and not just animals raping but of an animal, a beautiful light haired German shepherd, drugged in an operating room and raped, by a cult doctor. Forced to watch, and people in white sheets,?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Jean, Thank you again. It was uncomfortable, triggering, sad and hard to believe that these things are true. I don’t have any memories or thoughts of these things. At any rate I am grateful for you posting this so we all have a softer landing place and able to reach knowledge and support because one never knows what is hidden inside and the knowing we are not alone makes us stronger.
We don’t all have to have the same experiences to qualify. There are some that can validate us, others who by listening in respectful silence give us strength. We here are pioneers because so very few people are allowing themselves to think about it, let alone talk or write about it.
thank you so much for this posting Jean. i haven’t any resources to
add, but just wanted to tell you how courageous you are, and i’ve much respect for your sharing. i’m not able to talk openly about this in my own words given i don’t have any, just lil kid weeping.
thank you ❤️🩹
LikeLiked by 1 person
All those tears that could not have fallen when it was happening. I think you are brave to cry today. After crying and crying, there will be a sense of relief because you are now able to feel and express your grief. This is a place where you are believed and where we can all join our outrage with yours.
thank you Jean, so
loving & kind of you. and for reminding me this is a place of validation & support for all our survivor parts & voices. they didn’t intend for us to remember, talk about it & create connections, community with other survivors.❤️🩹 defying odds is life affirming.
Yes, life-affirming and an act of defiance! There is such a need to talk about this subject….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Animal rape. Rape by proxy. For me in childhood, dogs, and one goat memory (linked with the cult’s worship of Azael). These events need speaking of. The shame is colossal – or used to be for me (once I’d remembered it). Yet it is NEVER our shame. Never.
The dog memories returned after we got a male dog a few years ago – massively triggering. I love him to bits though, and so does our cat and other – female – dog.
Faith Allen – a blog I visited a lot when memories first started returning back in 2016. I’ll pop ny again. Thank you for the reminder.
Our cat used the entire house for her gym workout yesterday. A very noisy affair. How can cats create so much chaos?!
You have been dealing with this for years – my guess is that you have a lot of insights into what was helpful and what wasn’t. It may not seem that way to you, but it sure does to those who have just remembered. I’m glad you are here, for several reasons!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I remembered that just 5 years ago, and I can honestly say that having a male dog has helped that healing process, helped me to realise he is ‘just’ a beautiful dog who is so loving. Mind you, having him neutered was a help too!
There is so little written online, yet there is a need to speak, to write, to say ‘that happened to me’ – partly so others know they are not alone, partly for my own healing, to knock shame ever more, to regain my dignity, my worth – our worth, every one of us who has endured all the sick tortures in RA.
div>I almost always read your blog posts. Thank you for writing th
Thank you for reading!