Secure Communications, Outside and Inside

First, a little information about communicating with the outside world. Warning: nerd attack ahead, complete with geek-speak.

If you are feeling cautious (or even a little paranoid) about the safety of your communications over the Internet, here are some things I have learned.

1. Adblockers really work. Just turn the blocker on in your browser, and you will start getting next to zero new ads! So refreshing.

2. If you want to get rid of all the ads you are currently seeing, you have to clear your browser’s cache. This will free up a lot of storage space on your computer. It will also be annoying because your browser won’t remember any of your passwords. I think it’s worth one day of annoyance to restore what you want in trade for avoiding days and days of things you don’t want.

3. There is one browser that never, ever, tracks what you look for and never, ever, collects any data whatsoever about you. It’s DuckDuckGo (https://duckduckgo.com/) I suppose that means that, if they get subpoenaed, they have nothing to give the government.

4. Mozilla (https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/) is now offering a VPN (Virtual Private Network) for US $4.99 a month.

5. Signal (https://www.signal.org/) offers free end-to-end encryption for totally private, untraceable voice and video calls. Also free text, voice messages, photos, videos, GIFs, and files transfer. Since they collect no data, they have nothing to sell. They are a non-profit living on donations.

6. Skype now offers “Private Conversations” and Facebook Messenger offers “Secret Conversations,” both though Signal. Why they do this, I do not know.

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On to the inside, which probably is of greater interest to everybody here.

Sometimes internal communication goes smoothly, and sometimes it stirs up all sorts of turmoil. I can’t guarantee you these hints are foolproof, but they have worked for me.

Actually, they aren’t hints. They are principles of good communication, both internal and external.

Politeness

The old saying goes, “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” You will get much more cooperation if you remember to say “please” and “thank you” and lay off the swear words. (I had a friend who addressed his alters this way: “Listen up, assholes!” To which they replied, “Fuck off!” He was surprised; I wasn’t.)

If you speak to them politely, don’t call them names, and don’t try to boss them around, they will be less anxious around you, they will listen to you, and they will have an easier time understanding and remembering what you are saying. They will also be more willing to talk to you.

Compassion

You may find you dislike some alters and are afraid of others. You may even feel like screaming and running away or getting rid of them permanently. This is not unusual, and the situation is not hopeless.

It helps to remind yourself that they went through horrible, horrible things to protect you and all the others inside. Plus, they may have been ordered to be like they are, and, given the torture they were enduring, they had no choice but to obey. If you think about this when they are not in your presence, you will find yourself softening toward them when you meet them. In turn, they will learn to react to you differently.

You are encouraging yourself to meet these alters with compassion and an open heart. You can always explain this to them even when you don’t think they are around. They may be listening silently, or others may tell them what you said. News is often shared inside.

When you do interact with them, you’ll find yourself feeling sad for what they went through, even in the midst of your fear or annoyance. 

Honesty

If you lie to an alter, you will build distrust, not respect and trust. If you try and sugar coat things, they will think you are clueless. If you try to fake knowing something you don’t, you will make a fool of yourself. Dishonesty is counterproductive.

We are all used to lying, keeping secrets, not talking about certain things. It was the way we were raised, and it takes hard work to change. It takes courage to say, “I don’t know.” It feels very, very vulnerable.

It’s great if you are brave enough to put it right out on the table. “I learned as a kid to lie and hide things in order to protect myself. I am trying very hard to learn how to be honest. I don’t want to lie to you, but I may forget sometimes. You can help me by asking if something is true or not if you are not sure.”

Humility

You are not perfect. You are guaranteed to make mistakes, many of them. This is not because you are flawed, but simply because all human beings make mistakes. 

I promise you that you will be happier and more self-confident if you stop chasing perfection. I have a couple of mottos that have helped me over the years in the quest for the acceptance of imperfection.

“It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be different.”

“If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing a half-assed job of it.”

These little phrases have given me the courage to try new things, to fool around and just see what comes from it. After all, trying is better than sitting around putting all my energy into scolding myself for not doing anything.

Admitting you made a mistake builds trust. This is just as true of internal relationships as it is outside ones. 

If you put these principles into practice with outside people, you will find that it is easier to get to know somebody and that your relationships will improve. What works with inside people works with 3-D people.

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I plan to write more about internal communication in the next few weeks. I may refer back to these principles, but I probably won’t elaborate. I’m going to focus more on practical stuff, like crayons and taking turns and remembering things. I hope it will prove useful! 

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Upcoming Holidays

January
1/20 (?) St. Agnes’ Eve
1/28 Full moon

February
2/2 Candlemas/Imbolc/Satanic Revels
2/12 (?) Lincoln’s Birthday
2/14 Valentine’s Day
2/15 (?) Presidents’ Day/Washington’s birthday
2/16 Shrove Tuesday/ Mardi Gras
2/17 Ash Wednesday/beginning of Lent
2/25 Walpurgis Day
2/27 Full Moon

March
3/1 St David’s Day (patron saint of Wales)
3/1 St. Eichstadt’s Day
3/17 St. Patrick’s Day (patron saint of Ireland)
3/21 Spring Equinox
3/24 Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan
3/28 Full Moon
3/28 Palm Sunday

Dates Important to Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups
1/12 Birth of both Rosenberg and Goering, Nazi Leaders in WWII
1/28 Tu Bishvat/Tu B’Shevat (Jewish celebration of spring)
1/30 Hitler named Chancellor of Germany
2/26 Purim (Deliverance of the Jewish people from Haman in Persia)
3/28 – 4/4 Passover/Pesach (Deliverance of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt)

(NOTE: Not all groups meet on Jewish holidays. Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lammas, Halloween, the solstices, and the equinoxes.)

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I have organized a ZOOM group of survivors whose systems are polyfragmented, or partially so. If you would like to join, contact me through the comments section or write rahome@ra-info.org

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* You can find more information on the following holidays at: 
Candlemas https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/candlemas/
Valentine’s Day https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/02/10/valentines-day/
Spring Equinox https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/the-spring-equinox/
Easter: personal. (for background, see Spring Equinox) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2014/04/21/easter-blues/
Walpurgisnacht/May Eve: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/04/20/walpurgisnacht/
Beltane: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/beltane/
Mothers’ Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/04/26/mothers-day/
Fathers’ Day: https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2020/06/20/ritual-abuse-and-fathers-day/
Summer Solstice (corrected text) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/06/15/well-this-is-embarrassing/
Lammas https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/category/lamas/
and https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/august-ritual-dates/

Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 1 https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2013/08/31/the-feast-of-the-beast/
Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan: Part 2 https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/feast-of-the-beast-part-ii/
Fall Equinox https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/the-fall-equinox/
Halloween {personal) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/halloween/ 
Halloween (background) https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/samhainhalloween/
Thanksgiving https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/11/20/thanksgiving/
Yule/Winter Solstice https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/yulewinter-solstice/ 

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* How to add a comment after a postThis blog’s design makes it hard to figure out how to comment. Go down to the bottom of the post. You will see in light grey type: “RATE THIS,” tagged (a list of the tags), and (the number of) comments.” Click on the word “comments” to open all posted comments.

At the very bottom of the page, you will see “LEAVE A REPLY.” That’s where you make a new comment. You can reply to a posted comment by clicking “Reply” under that comment. In each case, make sure to click “POST COMMENT” when you are finished. It’s a good idea to write out your comment first and then paste it in so that you don’t risk losing what you wrote.“The Facade Is Part of the Building”

7 thoughts on “Secure Communications, Outside and Inside

    1. so glad you liked it!

      I find it much easier to be nice to other pple than to myself. The self image I struggle with is being at the bottom of the totem pole, buried in dirt.

      But.. I remember thinking – not sure about who now – “Just because you are a Satanist doesn’t mean you can’t say please or thank you.”

      So many contradictory thoughts and beliefs swirling around.

      Like

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