There has been a lot of interest in this topic among our readers, so much so that I would like to collect personal accounts for an anthology.
I can do the editing and set up, but I need your help to let people know that a book is in the works. It would mean posting a notice on your blog, if you have one, and letting all your RA/MC contacts, therapists as well as survivors, know about the project. Ask them to spread the word. And, if this is in their background, ask them to consider writing something – an account of what happened and how it affected them, a rant, a poem, whatever moves them.
There are 300-plus people following my blog at this point, and if, say, half of them helped out this way, I am sure it would come together quite quickly. And I would feel SOOOO supported!!
Tell the people you contact to get in touch with me at firstname.lastname@example.org or use the comment section of this blog. And if you don’t get an answer, write a comment telling me that your email didn’t go through.
Here is another account of a survivor’s experience as a breeder. I thank Tracy with all my heart for her courage and generosity in sharing her horrific experiences.
Almost everything I write about on here is from a distance. I’m able to close off the emotions …. which I don’t think is a good thing. Let’s see how this memory goes.
I know I was brought into the cult for breeding purposes. They didn’t treat me any different. I still went thru all the horrors except when I was pregnant.
I got pregnant during mass rapes. They had me back up against the tree and one man after the other would rape me. Those bastards always wore their hoods on those days so I never saw their faces or eyes. Damned if I didn’t try to make them look me in the eye, but they were cowards. Satan would be amongst the group, usually the last man to rape me. With Satan being last, they figured his seed would be the one that impregnated me
Once a pregnancy was confirmed, I was given a Matron who would follow me everywhere. She would come to my home and make me drink “bull semen” to strengthen the hopefully male child.
I can visualize her in the grocery store, near my school, every where I went. She wore a long navy blue or dark skirt that went to her ankles. Underneath was a white scalloped edge slip, which was visible all the time. One time in the hospital, there was a book sale. I picked one up and there was a drawing of the exact dress my Matron wore. It flipped me out! Confirmation found haphazardly. I wasn’t making it up!
Once pregnant was a safe time for me. I was treated tenderly….. they wanted this child. I hid my growing belly with loose tops and baggy dresses. They also taught me how to hunch over when I walked, so my belly wasn’t prominent.
We took trips, taking me out of school, once to Bermuda. I don’t have many recollections of what happened on those trips. I guess that will come in time.
On sacrificial days, when I was 7-8 months pregnant, the process was as follows. I was put on a table, out in the clearing, and strapped down. My arms were spread out and strapped for the IVs. Our family doctor was there and lots of Matrons stood around me. The rest of the cult were to my left, high with anticipation. They must have drugged me cos I don’t have body memories. At least not before the child was born.
One of my alters just said “forceps,” so I guess they used implements in getting the baby out.
My first child was female. I can hear her crying and they showed her to me, scolding me in angry tones. I never got to hold her.
My happy pregnant days were over. My girl baby was held by her foot, upside down. There was a gold chalice held under the baby as she dangled there, and they slit her throat. They caught all of her blood, which was later ingested. She was taken to Satan and he was raving mad. I was screamed at, useless piece of shit. Can’t recall everything that was said but the whole group joined in with condemnation.
I was made to drink her blood first, then the rest of the cult got some.
My second pregnancy and birth were the same. I gave birth to a female, which was really bad. I was chastised for being a stupid cunt that couldn’t give them the bastard child …. This baby was held by her feet and swung around, killing her by shaking her poor body this way and that. This baby girl was shoved in my face and I was forced to take a bite of her. She was cannibalized by myself and other members of the cult. It was disgusting. I feel nauseous now remembering. The members who got a bite were high, like the baby was hallucinagenic. I lay on the bed watching with no way of stopping this from happening. Their blood smeared smirks either yelled or praised me, confusing my mind if I was good or bad. When there was no more to the baby except bones, she was thrown into a large cauldron with other organs or bones of deceased children and animals. It was to make a potent drink to strengthen the breeders and the group. They cooked my baby.
There were probably other sacrificed babies, but I don’t know for sure.
The last pregnancy went beautifully, being treated special and not having to go thru most of the rituals. My alters are saying “forceps, bloody mess and knives.” They are saying “afterbirth.” which I guess made a mess when they took it out.
This child was the bastard child, a male, and it was what I was born to make. I was the best girl cos I accomplished it. Never getting to see my boy, they took him right away and went out the right path while the cult went crazy with dance, shouts and chanting.
Those were the three babies I remember. I have a feeling it happened more. I think I was nine for the first baby. Then it would start all over once my body was ready for another pregnancy. I believe hormones were given to me to develop early.
I went for a gyno check up years later and asked if they had a way of telling me how many children I had had. I thought maybe there would be a scar in the uterus where the baby lived for awhile. Doc told me no, there was no way. In my 50’s, after having an ablation done, he made a remark how badly my uterus was scarred.
I don’t know when these types of truths will come out, about how many babies I provided them. And I’ll never know if my son is walking the earth.
I’m depleted after writing this down. I’m also feeling very spacy. My hopes are that someone will get some clarity and know she is not crazy. There are a lot of breeders out there, it’s just a very difficult thing to believe …. and tell.
Blessing of Light and Love
3/20 Spring Equinox
3/24 Feast of the Beast/Bride of Satan
3/25 Palm Sunday
3/30 Good Friday/Death of Jesus Christ
3/31 Full Moon (Blue Moon)
4/1 Easter Sunday
4/1 April Fool’s Day
4/8 Day of the Masters
4/10 Full Moon
4/16 – 4/23 Grand Climax/Da Meur/ (Preparation for sacrifice in some Satanic sects}
4/30 Walpurgisnacht/May Eve
5/1 Beltane/May Day/ Labour Day in Europe
5/13 Mothers’ Day
5/28 Memorial Day
5/29 Full moon
Dates important to Neo-Nazi groups
1/30 Hitler named Chancellor of Germany
4/20 Hitler’s birthday (Note: Hitler was born on Easter, so Nazis celebrate his actual birthday, 4/20, and Easter of the current year. His alternate birthday is 4/1 this year.)
4/30 Anniversary of Hitler’s death
(Some groups also mark Candlemas, Beltane, Lamas, Halloween, solstices, equinoxes, and full moons.)