I Have Low Energy

Upcoming Holidays

November
11/3 Full Moon
11/3 Satanic Revels
11/23 Thanksgiving
December
12/3 Full Moon
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12/21 St. Thomas’ Day/Fire Festival
12/21 Yule/Winter Solstice
12/24  Christmas Eve/Satanic and demon revels/Da Meur/Grand High Climax
12/15  Christmas Day
12/31 New Year’s Eve

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I Have Low Energy

I’m sorry I picked the 10th, 20th, and 30th of the month to post. I used to do the 5th, 15th, and 25th but I got behind and changed the dates, pretending to catch up. I like the old way better. There is just too much going on around the end of the month and I am distracted and don’t feel like writing. By the time I get five days into a month it is a bit better. It’s easier to write about ritual abuse, and easier, I bet, to read about it.

I still feel I have nothing to say about Halloween. If the whole country is putting up Christmas decorations, like they are here, maybe it will fade from national consciousness. Would that be a blessing, or not? Mixed bag, I bet.

I have very little energy these days. It’s better in the morning. I set the timer for ten to fifteen minutes and work on the computer and then set it for five minutes for housework. Dishes, cats, plants, laundry, tidying up. On the days when I have no appointments, I notice I run out of steam around four in the afternoon. When I come back from an appointment, it is generally around four or five and all I feel like doing is flopping down. I would gladly spend the rest of the day in bed reading junk and eating chocolates.

I am sure part of it is normal slowing down because of aging. Thirty years ago I was working full-time, keeping my house clean, and jogging! Plus I had a social life. Now most of that is impossible. The chronic pain of arthritis severely limits my ability to walk, and jogging or dancing and other such fun things are totally out of the question for the rest of my life. So I can’t blame not jogging three times a week on low energy.

I certainly couldn’t work full-time because so much time goes into taking care of my decrepit body. Doctors and dentists and physical therapy and exercise is equivalent to a half-time job, at least. And I tell myself that email and the blog and such are also another good twenty hours a week. Someday I should log it to see if I am kidding myself.

Chronic pain is also a ferocious consumer of energy. It wears you down. It takes energy to buck the pain and move the body or even to be civil. Pain also interferes with sleep, and poor sleep leads to low energy, which leads to more awareness of the level of pain I am feeling because it is hard to get lost in something interesting.

And then there is the question of sleeping with cats. It’s a terrible idea if you want to sleep through the night. They want to play, they want to have their chins rubbed, they get hungry, they want the other one’s favorite spot. Their meows are piercing. This is the one thing I have control of but so far I have not been willing give up the comfort of contented purring and warm furry bodies against mine. I’ve half-heartedly tried to exile them, but if I dare to go to the bathroom they shoot into my room and hide under the bed until I am asleep.

My state of low energy has been going on long enough that I can’t blame it on October. My best guess is that it is part of normal aging. Here I am, having wanted to be normal for years and years, and now that I am normal, at least in one respect, I hate it. Just hate it! No pleasing me, no siree.

Hmm. I think I am a lot more affected by Halloween than I realized. Felt sort of weepy all day, and forgetful, too. I forgot to post this on the day before Halloween and I have been unable to reply to comments because of some not yet understood glitch in either me or the software. I bet it is me. In a day or so I should be back to normal (haha)

Oh, well, it’s all uphill for now . . . until Thanksgiving.

8 thoughts on “I Have Low Energy

  1. Hello All- Does anyone question if their really sick or if” You’re just making it up?” I’ve been I’ll for the last 4 weeks! Stomach, cough, headache, fatigue, earache, sore throat, chills, sweats, low grade fluctuating temperature……It goes on and on! I feel like I literally have a lil bug inside that crawls around and hits me in different areas. I’ve been to the docs twice- no strep or mono….”Hmmm, I don’t know. I guess it’s one of those things.” says the doc. So, does that mean I’m not really sick??? I must be faking it, right?

    These types of illness have plaques me for years. I recall being so tired, I couldn’t lift my arm. My ex would come home and remark , ‘Don’t tell me, your sick again, right?” I honestly didn’t have any energy! I’m not sure if I had my memories at that time, but it sucked.!

    This time around,, I’ve had all these comp,aunts, but nothing g really to substantiate it. No flaming fevers. No spots in my throat. No gross mucus with cough. It’s just ‘sick.

    Was it because of the time of year? I made it thru fine cos I was sick and didn’t think about …..the stuff. But it’s over now! So why am I still feeling sick?

    I’ve been living in my bedroom, in bed, playing games, sleeping ,finally started eating which sets off my stomach…..It’s getting ridiculous.

    We’re they right? I’m a good actress and I’m seeking attention? I’m not getting any so that blows that idea. But maybe I’m faking it for whatever reason. Not getting g much help from my insiders. Trisha, 4yrs old, said it wasn’t them, but she’s the only one who spoke up.

    I’m tired of this. But I must be getting better cos I’m getting angry over it.
    Does anyone experience these kinds of things? I’d love to hear from you. Thanx!
    Blessings

    Like

    1. I don’t have illnesses like that, but my first thought is always that it’s a body memory and therefore all in my head. Or I am exaggerating, even if I am bleeding all over. Come sform being made to hide illnesses and “accidents” as a child.

      Sure sounds real to me. Have you been tested for Lyme disease? Or other weird lingering viruses? Or perhaps it is chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia. I haven’t Googled them recently.

      Whatever it is, I hope youi feel better soon

      Like

  2. Hi Jean,

    I’m sorry to hear your struggling with your energy! Maybe you could look in to some vitamins? Or maybe you could have some deficiencies (iron or vitame B?)
    Maybe it is chronic pain related or ‘just’ getting older. Maybe your more affected by Halloween etc?
    It’s frustrating when there are no clear answers (or I would be frustrated because there are no clear answers)
    Kate

    Like

    1. Checked everything except Vitamin B. Thanks for reminding me, that will next on the list.

      I bet it is a combination of things, and yes, no answers are frustrating.

      Like

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