Surrounded by Guardian Fairies

October
10/13 Backwards Halloween

10/13 Friday the Thirteenth

10/22 – 10/29 Preparation for All Hallows’ Eve

10/31 Halloween/Samhain/All Hallows Eve
There are two previous posts on Halloween:
https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/halloween/
https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/samhainhalloween/  
November
11/S Full Moon

11/3 Satanic Revels

11/23 Thanksgiving
December
12/3 Full Moon  
12/21 St. Thomas’ Day/Fire Festival 
12/21 Yule/Winter Solstice
12/24 Christmas Eve/Satanic and demon revels/Da Meur/Grand High Climax
12/15 Christmas Day
12/31 New Year’s Eve

Important dates in Nazi groups
11/9 Kristallnacht

11/11 Veteran’s Day: Armistice, 1918

 

Surrounded by Guardian Fairies

Years ago, a colleague of mine was moving to the country from the city. She said, “Jean, I have a Parking Fairy. Would you like him?” I jumped at the chance and gladly accepted her offer.

The Parking Fairy has been very good to me all these years. Occasionally he will deny me a space when he disapproves of my plans. This happens, for example, when I am circling a pizza place.

One day, after trying to back carefully out of the garage and just accumulating more paint on my car doors, I sighed and said, “Parking Fairy, I sure wish there was a Driving Fairy.” Then it occurred to me there probably was, and all I had to do was ask the Parking Fairy to introduce me to him. So I did, and he did, and I am very grateful. I think they are relatives, probably brothers, or at the very least, cousins.

I’ve found that fairies can’t read my mind, so I have to talk out loud to them. And of course I or we get to hear what I say, too. I ask him to help me/us drive carefully, alertly, and safely. Also to stay aware of where my car is on the road, where all the other cars are, and that I make sure I know if there are motorcycles or bicycles or pedestrians around. And it is very good to be aware of traffic lights and stop signs and construction and those sorts of things.

I also tell him where I want to go and name all the stop signs, bicycles etc that I see on the way. That way he can tell if my attention is on my driving or if I have drifted off somewhere else. I also ask him every time if it is okay to turn the radio on. Sometimes it is. sometimes it isn’t.

My driving has improved vastly and my anxiety has gone way down now that I know I have a fairy riding shotgun!

I’m quite sure I could use a Walking Fairy. Last year I didn’t fall once, and this year I’ve fallen too many times to count. All the circumstances seem different, so it is hard for me to anticipate when I might fall. I’m not yet sure I have a Walking Fairy, but I can’t see a good reason why the Parking and Driving Fairies would deny me one. So I am starting to timidly talk to him, asking him to help me notice where my feet are and to scan the path I am following so I have some idea of what is coming up. Sorta like driving, come to think of it.

I know this sounds a little weird. Talking to cats or dogs seems normal. Talking out loud to yourself every now and then sounds normal. But talking out loud to fairies? All the time when I am in the car, and all the time when I am standing up or walking? I’ve never met anybody who did that, and I have never read about it, either.

But you know what? I don’t care. I live alone so nobody knows most of the time. When I visit somebody, or somebody visits me, I either talk to them in my mind (which isn’t nearly as effective), or whisper discretely. If I think the person wouldn’t freak out, I talk out loud as usual. I get some weird looks, but so far nobody has wanted to take me to the ER for a psych workup.

It may be unusual, but then I am unusual in a lot of other ways, too. All I can say is that it works for me.

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15 thoughts on “Surrounded by Guardian Fairies

  1. Hi Earthenheartstone! Welcome ! I’m glad you’re here.In hopes of easing your mind, I’m just like you. I switch all the time. Some of the Tracy have kinda melded, so someone might start talking and kinda sound like Tracy, but it’s not. It’s so dam Confusing! I too have complex multiplicity.

    Please keep coming back. It’s comforting to know there are others out there that are like me, and Jean and Briana. Their the only names I know of so far.

    You can just read if you want. I hope I don’t trigger you….. I think that’s all our fears. But Jean created a safe place for me, and I will be disclosing some things that will be triggering. I’ll mark it in the beginning of the writing so everyone knows.

    Just hope you can learn to feel safe enough to hang out with all of Us!

    Bless you sweetie. You’re in good company…
    Heart Hugggsssss
    Tracy

    1. I should probably write a whole post about this.

      My philosophy is that anything can be triggering for somebody, and therefore there is no way to know what we can say and be sure it won’t be triggering. Rather than walking on eggshells, I think it is better to ask everybody to take care of handling it when they are triggered. Do what has worked before, ask for help, etc. And assume that the other person had no intention of triggering you – it wasn’t done on purpose.

      This has worked well for about 25 years of moderating email lists, running a bulletin board. etc. I have only run into problems three times, if I remember right.

      Of course, it’s nice to say “I’m going to talk about XYZ” so people can decide if they want to read it or not. But that’s not the same as a “trigger warning.” Oh, and often, it’s good to write out what you want to say and then put a title on it – “I’m going to talk about XYZ.” Cause not everybody knows what they are going to say until after they have said it!

      If you feel better putting a trigger warning, go ahead and do it, but know it isn’t necessary.

    2. Hello tracysra! I saw your reply today and can’t tell you how much it meant to me that another survivor felt like I was worth enough to reply to! I don’t really have any other survivor’s support and we both know that even though other support people are blessings in our lives there is a something special about connecting with someone that have lived somewhat similar lives! Every survivor’s story vary from time to time but the devastation left behind, for example, flashbacks, nightmares, body memories, losing time and the complex D.I.D. that doesn’t always serve us in a positive way! Yes, D.I.D. did keep me alive for decades but I totally agree with you when you said that it is so damn confusing most times! There are times when I find myself in deep despair so desperate to just be me and think for ONLY MYSELF instead of far too many inside that pop out at any given time without my awareness or memory sometimes for days or not at all! I could say much more but see that most people on this blog have very short replies and I don’t want to do the wrong thing! Just wanted to thank you for welcoming me and to let you know, also, that you are not in this battle alone, either! Sending positive energy and light your way…wherever that may be! Peace be with you tonight and all the days and long nights ahead!

      1. It’s pretty hard to do the wrong thing here. You can write as much or as little as you want, and it will be just fine. It’s great to have variety.

        And it is great to see the two of you relating and supporting each other!

  2. Dear Jean,
    I became a member to your blog sight about a month or two ago and have wanted to leave comments almost every time I read your stories. I guess my problem is that there is so much chaos in my system right now and of course more than usual because of the current time of year! I am dealing with so much that I can’t focus on one thing to write because I don’t want to trigger anyone or compromise my safety through a sight that is quite readily able to read and I’ve had some trouble with disclosing information and it getting into the wrong hands! So where does that leave me and what am I really trying to say? I don’t know at this point because I’m constantly switching and focusing on one thing for more than 15 minutes or so is about the extent of what I am currently able to do! I do have a very good Christian therapist who I know you know because I asked her. Her initials are E.A. and I brought her up to you and she knows you. I have been working with her since August 2016 and although have made great strides still have more bad days than good! Due to the season, I have been experiencing some very difficult things and experiencing things that I never had before. I am a 41 years old S.R.A. survivor which comes from complex disassociation. I don’t feel comfortable disclosing any more information right now but maybe just trying to introduce myself and also continue to encourage you to keep on writing and I check your blog everyday! You may respond if you choose? Actually, I need all of the support that I can get! Thanks for reading and keep writing!!!!

    1. Welcome!!! I hope when you visit the blog you will find things that are helpful to you, both among the posts and among other people’s comments.

      I guess my advice would be to take it slow — you can always comment later, so there is no point in stressing out. And you are welcome to leave one sentence (or less!) in the comment section if you want.

      I can’t guarantee that what you you write won’t fall into the wrong hands, so maybe you could be careful not to give any information that you would worry about them knowing. It’s good to be cautious under such circumstances. I know the people who comment, but not everybody who follows, and certainly not everybody who reads but doesn’t follow. There is no way to screen readers of a public blog. Having said that, I have not heard of any problems over the years.

      I am glad you are making progress with your therapist; it took me a while to figure out the initials, but I did. I hope she knows that it is fine by me if she reads the blog, too, to see if I am giving any suggestions she might disagree with.

      Yes, October is a really hard month. Just try and remember that it will be over eventually. And that if childhood memories are surfacing, they are just that, memories. It is not happening now, even if it feels like it is.

      Don’t worry, I plan to keep writing for a long time!

    1. Hi Briana! I have a dragon, Actura. She is pink and told me her name. She will go thru my body and fire breathe any negative energies and Clear off my Chakrason.
      I have Fairies but don’t know names. If I’m being guided thru a meditation, and am told we are going into beautiful purple water, my Fairies do that. Again, they are the lower vibrations, but do have the jobs.
      I’very been told by several psychic/sensitive skin that I have 1000s of angels around me. I believe they came during our awful time. I want that for all of us, if you are inclined to believe in the different realms.

      Last nite I actually got out of my house to go to my High Schools all yr alumni reunion. WHAT A FANTASTIC TIME!!! I’m still smiling, Of course my
      Intuitive and Healing energy didn’t stop. I ran into a woman from a year ahead of me. When she said Hi, Bells went off. I asked her how she was, she said fine, then I moved right in front of her and asked seriously how she was. She was not good at all, I knew it.
      Later she came up to me and we chatted. I asked again, same answer, so I told her there’s something more. She agreed to let me scan her. I felt something on the left side of her head, a spot on her back and didn’t even have to feel her belly to know she had problems there. Once again, I was blown away. She had brain cancer right where I just touched her!!!!!!! I’m picking up brain cancer!?!?!? Holy Cow! I really need a mentor to guide me thru my ‘talents’……cos it’s kinda scary……
      Anyway, I’m exhausted, need to soak all the sweat from last nite, and then I’m going to bed early.
      I hope everyone is doing well.
      Blessings
      Tracy &Co

  3. Hi Jean, We got thru this past week… yay! My state of mind was really negative.

    Thank you for your gentle words. I know I am a mess and when I write I just let it flow.

    I should know who is who and have them talk to each other. But, that hasn’t happened in 30 yrs. I know alot of them by name, some how they came about, but not that their having convos between each other. It’s either my defenses(programming) or I’m scared to do the work.. We say we’re going to journal, etc and it never lasts for more then a week. Right now thinking about it…..there is a “force” that pulls my mind away and has me think, “Oh, you have to do this or that, you don’t have time”, just a constant distraction.

    I’m in a quandry over what to do today. My high school is having an all grads reunion. So many different years will be going. I was excited, now I’m talking myself out of it. People will def ask,” So what do you do?”. “Umm, well I’m disabled and spend time dealing with having multiple personalities and trying to figure out what my life was as a child. So, what do you do?”. Idread the questions. Really debating if I’m going to go. Sucks to be afraid to go out amongst people.

    I hope your day is wonderful.
    Blessings

    1. Journaling sounds so formal and grown up. How about post-it notes? Or index cards, something less stuffy.

      You can’t make pple talk to each other. You can give them permission, “It’s okay by me if any of you want to say things, either to me or some others or to yourself. But you don’t have to.” And remember that there is no one right way to do things!

      I hope you made a decision that is the very best one for you, given all the pros and cons of going. An all-years sounds a bit like a zoo, but you could always talk to pple younger than you who probably don;t give a rats ass what you are doing, just themselves! Age-appropriate behavior.

      My day was good. I got out in the garden for the first time in days and had a lot of fun cutting down dead things. Weeding is one of the few ways I feel good about being destructive. LOL

  4. The Isis I referred too saboteur is not all capital letters. Spell check mistake. There is an angel named Isis, female who is a mighty warrior with a sword. She is known as a warrior and will cut down negative energies that might be around me.

    OK, that freaks me out……who wrote “sabotuer” after Isis’S Name? I wrote above and whomever wrote sabotuer.
    What’s going on with me?! Why are they sneaking out and saying things like That?,!

    Is it to confuse Me? Are they telling me Isis is not the angel I thought she was, a protector and fighter? Why do they do that?,?! Once again I feel less in control. Or maybe I’m going crazy. That’s what they want Right?

    JEan, what’s happening to Me?
    Tracy

    1. Saboteur might not be a bad adjective for the Islamic State, referred to as ISIS these days.

      So the part of you who caught that you mean the angel tried to point it out but unfortunately it didn’t get communicated right. Happens all the time to everybody until your parts get to know each other well enough to know what the other is trying to say, or to ask. So no, I don’t think you are going crazy, or that there is anything the matter with you in this case..

  5. Hi. I’m still here, sadly. Wish I wouldn’t wake up everyday and get pissed when I do. Chatty way to live.
    I have Driver, who makes sure I get home from wherever. And I don’t find d it necessary to say it out loud.
    There are Fairies and Angels. Fairies are of a lower vibrational realm. Like animal spirits, water spirits, dragon ,etc.
    When I’m able to meditate, I silently ask them all to come help me. If I am going to do a healing g on someone, I call on ISIS, Archangels Micheal and Rafael, Amma, Quin Yan, Bhuddha and any other quite that comes to mind. They know what their abilities are, and act accordingly. As I stand in silence with my hands palms faced up, I will feel them as they come. My hands get tingly and hot sometimes the goosebumps, but they let me know they are there to help me, and protect me from taking in whatever ails the person I’m working on.
    It’s scary and amazing when people tell me I’very found the spot. Animals let me know in there own way. I’very been connecting to dogs recently and it’s very cool. Still the uncertainty of what I’m doing and if I did it right scares me.
    I’m coming from a metaphysical point of view, I hope it doesn’t offend anyone, but I wish to share a truth with everyone.
    We are all born with 2 guardian angels. Always, everybody has them. I have 3 which is unusual, but I’ll take them. One is an Indian. So trying to figure out who is who , is daunting. I just accept that fact.
    I helped my friend out the other day. I was….glad to have helped his ails, but I don’t know how I’m doing good it. And I wasn’t doing a healing on him! I was scanning his body token see where he was Hurting! But I helped, so that was good.
    Try not to examine who the spirits or Fairies are….just let it be and know they are there to help you when asked for.
    Blessings

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