I need to write another post about Halloween. I’m not getting flashbacks of any sort, not even “feeling” flashbacks. Whether I have stuffed them all way down or worked through them I don’t know, but I do know I’m not having them.
It’s on my mind, though, that other survivors are having a horrible time and there is very little I can do to help them. I can say I am sorry, sorry they did that to you, sorry you are still having flashbacks after all these years, sorry you are feeling alone and frightened. I wish I could share what I did to stop the flashbacks, except I don’t know what that was. I can only hope that one day you will find your own way past them.
What’s happening today is also on my mind. I know that children are being used in rites. I know children are being tortured and programmed. I know they are being made to hurt other children and being told they are evil for doing so. And there is nothing I can do to rescue even one of those children.
And so many animals are being tortured before they are sacrificed. There is nothing the children can do to prevent this, except feel in their hearts that it is wrong. Pray silently, perhaps, for God to end their suffering and take them home to a loving place. And, if possible, know that it is not their fault and that they are helpless to stop it.
I used to fantasize breaking into a ritual gathering with a machine gun and mowing down all the adults. How a ten-year-old kid could get the money for a machine gun, walk into a store and buy the gun and bullets, hide it, learn how to shoot, avoid being taken to the ceremony, and overcome her total aversion to killing weren’t part of the fantasy. Neither was what to do with the terrified kids and animals and all the bodies. Just the killing part. This from a person who takes spiders outside when she finds them in the house and can only kill weeds without guilt.
Now I imagine the day, years and years from now, when enough of us have given our testimony that the majority of people in our society believe this happens right in their back yard. Then the adults will be believed and people will know enough to recognize signs that a child is being ritually abused.
There will be so much information out there that amnesia will crumble and the truth will be known universally. A whole lot of the perpetrators will be desolated at all the suffering they have caused and will stop doing it. Those few sociopaths that don’t care will become isolated and ever fearful of getting caught. The cults will be choked to death by truth.
I get great solace from the belief that speaking out in whatever way we can will hasten that day. Words are our machine guns.