Ritual Abuse Survivors Are Allowed to Be Silly

I’m not feeling very verbal right now, so blog writing is hard. I’m tempted to post a cat video.

In Arizona, I found a cat collar made of very good leather with brass letters that said MEOW. When I am feeling punk I wear it as a bracelet. Bet nobody guessed I sometime feel punk!

I read an article that said that in the 1800’s cats were either feral or barn cats. Then some woman got the idea to bring one in the house and treat it as a pet. It became a fad around the turn of the century – went viral!. It also became grounds for divorce. One man stated that his wife had 37 cats and the house smelled. Divorce granted.

I have two cats and there are times the house smells.

Mosquitoes don’t like the smell of lavender or fabric softeners. So if you rub lavender all over you and stuff your pockets with Bounce they will not bother you. And they are scared of wind.

I didn’t envision free association being suitable for this blog. It is supposed to contain Serious Meaningful essays about healing from ritual abuse. But I suppose dying one’s hair blue and wearing cat collars and remembering articles found when I was careening around the Web instead of being productive are suitable subjects for “Healing from Ritual Abuse.”

In the initial phases of dealing with ritual abuse, there was no room for silliness for me. The flashbacks, the terror, the feeling that I would die from remembering consumed me 24/7. (Being afraid that remembering would kill me was a flashback, too, but I didn’t know that back then.) Now, in a later phase, there is room for other things. I never even imagined that could be true, but it turned out that it is.

I can’t remember when I first became open to other things, but I do remember that the change came slowly. My attention turned to something non-RA for a moment and then I was once again immersed in the horror. Over time, my attention could stray from RA for longer and longer periods.

Now I can read newspapers. I can get upset about other kinds of evil and all the ways people hurt each other and abandon each other. Wars, famines, prisons, destructive greed, stupidity; all these things have little to do with RA. Neither do most domestic violence and most child abuse. Apparently there is room for plenty of different kinds of evil in this troubled world of ours.

But I’m also aware that there is kindness and generosity and beauty in the world. Want to see something beautiful I found yesterday? Check out  http://www.cameraflora.com/index#

Backstory: Bert Shankman was a retired systems analyst and quickly became bored with all the leisure. He joined several clubs, including a camera club. He shot landscapes but got bored with that, too. He turned to flowers and became entranced. The members of the camera club were appalled because he photoshopped his work, so he told them to think of them as paintings. I think they are gorgeous!

Moral of Bert’s story: when bored, try something different. And if you are met with criticism, don’t take it too seriously – follow your heart.

Moral of this post: I dunno. Maybe if you are in crisis, hold on, don’t kill yourself, and just wait. I promise things will change. Maybe, eventually, you are allowed to be silly even if you are a ritual abuse survivor.












10 thoughts on “Ritual Abuse Survivors Are Allowed to Be Silly

  1. Thank you
    I find I am very silly in the midst of all of this. I sometimes wonder why. Then I realize I am alive and ready to live. What a wonderful joy life is to experience the wonders available to us once we can be come silly!!!


  2. Amen. Satan is a killjoy and hates true happuness. It really pisses him off when someone is a bit too happy and bouncy, which is why narcicists hate it too. so the best revenge you can have at Satan is to smile and be happy in his face.


    1. Happuness. I love it.

      Two airplane stories, both true.

      One woman ended up sitting next to a man with a German accent reading a neo-nazi magazine. He started to talk to her and asked, among other things, what she did for a living. “I am a recruiter.” “Ah, recruiter for vat?” “The Illuminati.” He turned bright red, went back to his magazine and didn’t speak a word for the rest of the flight.

      A different woman was sitting on the aisle seat and this guy touched her on the shoulder with a signal as he passed to go to the bathroom. On the way back, she winked at him. He too turned bright red and left her alone fro the rest of the trip.

      More fun than hyperventilating!


  3. Jeannie,

    I so agree with and relate to what you wrote, silliness and humor are immensely healing imo. Love the flower photos, too.



    1. Hey, Wendy! so good to hear from you. I miss you.

      Had a horrible night’s sleep and can’t remember when or why I ever had fun or laughed. Precisely when a good giggle would come in handy. How are you doing?

      The photos are so beautiful, I lust for one. But I can’t find a price anywhere. Probably just as well.


  4. Dear Jean,
    I’m not sure love can save the world because the world would be by now, and love is MUCH too easily influenced & manipulated … But I’m definitely sure HUMOUR can save the world, because this force is beyond the reach of the dark powers. The forces of the spirit, of the spiritual realms, come to the High Spirited.
    So I’m certain your laughing path is a good strategy to cope with the abominations of this world … ;-))
    Heartfully Yours,


    1. Well, not sure at the moment whether either love or humour can save the world. But both sure as hell make me feel saner and better!!!!


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