The background for this blog entry —
I’m away for two weeks, visiting family, having fun. Sensibly, I wrote two blog entries before I left and sent them to myself so that all I had to do was post them. At least I though I sent them to myself, but I can’t find them in my inbox. So I have a choice: skip an entry or write a new one at the last minute. (Another option, I suppose, is to burst into tears, cry all day, and delete the entire blog.)
Why did I do this? I don’t know and I don’t really care. I have been doing things like this all my life and therefore I know I’m not getting senile. I suppose it’s the way my mind is wired, probably from the abuse, so I shall call it dissociation. I’ll use another adjective when I’m talking to people that don’t need to know about my background, just to keep life simple.
By now I have developed a lot of work-arounds. I make lists, I write down where I have put those lists. I try and put things in the same place every time. If I can, I will ask somebody to go through their own check-list with me. There is a master packing list and things-to-do-before-vacation list in my suitcase. I carry a running shopping list in my wallet and a mini-calendar of the things I have to do that week. These things help, a lot.
They don’t, of course, take care of everything. If they did, you wouldn’t be reading this now. There are always unwelcome surprises along the way.
For example, as I was getting into the car to go to the airport, a little neurotic voice told me to check and make sure I had my driver’s license. I checked, even though I knew I was being silly, and — guess what, no license. I ran upstairs and grabbed my passport, which, luckily, was where it belonged. I haven’t told anybody because I expect they would say, “Where did you lose it?” That would drive me wild — if I knew where I lost it, it wouldn’t be lost, would it?
Moral of that story; always listen to any little voice that whispers in my ear.
Mislaying things, double-scheduling, and forgetting to do things are all time-consuming and annoying, but I have learned it doesn’t mean I am stupid. Actually, I’m quite intelligent because I have figured out ways to compensate. I’m proud of having figured out all these little tricks and even prouder of having grown past the need to put myself down each time something gets messed up in the course of the day.
To make my point, I Googled to find a visual example of absent-mindedness. And look what I found! Michelangelo’s shopping list! It’s not just me after all!!!!