Counting, License Plates, and Crosswords

When I was away, all those obsessive symptoms disappeared. It’s been four days now and they haven’t come back. They may be back tomorrow, in a week or a month or a year, or they may not come back at all. Perhaps it was just a cameo appearance? Who knows.

I thought I would write about some related things. One is reading license plates, the other is crossword puzzles.

Several of you commented on license plates, which must mean there are thousands of people out there who are obsessed with them. Ideas suggested were a program or memory and needing to memorize them in case you had to report them to the police. A related reason would be to spot cars that had followed you before or belonged to people who had harassed you.

I don’t know how common this is, but for me, I am looking for secret messages. (So did my first RA client.) This isn’t quite as nutty as it sounds because some programmed cues were seemingly random series of letters and numbers. So it would be possible, if they wanted me to perform a certain action, for them to send a car out with a plate containing that sequence and have it drive along around me. Maybe they said they would do that, maybe I thought it up on my own.

Many of the cues were plays on words;  they could be quite intricate. Sometimes opposites were used in a sentence, sometimes words that sounded alike, sometimes words that meant the same thing. I’ve not discussed this with other survivors, so I don’t know if others have the same kind of programming or if my programmers were just in love with puns and other word jokes.

Anyway, crosswords are the perfect places to look for such pairings. As a teen, I did two every day, the New York Times and the Herald Tribune. The rule was that the significant words had to come from different crosswords. I was still being abused during this time.

Now I do the easy puzzles that appear in the San Francisco Chronicle or the Washington Post. They take only about 10 minutes but almost every day they have a work pair that qualifies. I notice them, but they do not bother me any more. What does bother me is that most crosswords are done by software these days and the definitions are often wrong. Very annoying.

Oh, as a PS — I noticed that after the trip I no longer avoid using numbers instead of spelling them out. Looks like the programming using numbers has finally lost its hold. Hooray!

9 thoughts on “Counting, License Plates, and Crosswords

  1. Hi Jean
    Thank you for this post. I see how this has played out in my life and even recently with the spoofing. Im still in the unveiling stage of the damage done by psychics and cults that were part of my younger and even more recent life etc. until I was able to wake up from some far away place where I was still functioning in the real world. I would like to heal and mend this phase of my life. I have shared some of my thoughts with my partner and we have talked about the alters. He is aware of them himself and is not sure how to handle them.
    I have been working on my own in between counseling to not panick and feel in horrible loss of control in my life. Itry to look at things from the perspective is it beautiful and can I ground myself in the moment especially when Im driving and feel myself enraged for no reason. I do not know if this is prior programming or not. I know that I want to feel better and less obsessed about being unhappy and miserable.


  2. I still get lots of hang up calls, so I immediately add the numbers in a specific way to see who it was. The caller ID is certainly not dependable with spoof cards today. Thanks for the post, I can now laugh at my obsession.


    1. What’s a spoof card? I suppose if you added the numbers and didn’t like the answer you got, you could add them a different way, right? I don’t get hang up calls, just annoying calls from robots and I hang up on them!


      1. The ones that are bothering me are deep into numerology and they add up in a specific order each time. They only add one way any other way it will not work. I have a pretty good math background so it did not take long before I started seeing the pattern. I am somewhat religious but not to the extent I have had to learn. My big fear is that I will add them or assess them incorrectly. This has been now 2 years. If you will go to and read through the website it will teach you how someone with a unhealthy need can have free rein on others. I had no clue but when all my calls were from invalid numbers or I even called myself I started doing my homework. From what I can see there is nothing you can do either with FCC or the local authorities. I can call you using any name or number I chose for as little as $9.95 for 60 minutes US calls and a little more for International. One hang up can not last more than 3 minutes so you can get 20 calls easy out of 1 card.


        1. spoofcards! That is totally sick. I looked at the web page….thought it was illegal to record a phone call without an electronic beep. This is really helpful for me to know because so many pple get hang up calls and can’t identify the caller. Now I can explain how this happens. I suppose it’s a consolation to know that it is one person doing this, not dozens of different people.

          On the numerology front, what would happen if you added them up wrong? What would happen if you just didn’t add them at all? I imagine it would make you anxious.


          1. Since I still am trying to break totally free which I have not accomplished yet but it is work in progress. If I read the numbers right I can tell attitude/instructions which helps me determine my next move to stay one step ahead. This is a battle I can not lose to me it is winner take all. That all is my mind. It is the handler that is calling but he is not alone. I have my theories but that is something I can not publish. When the phone rings I jump, my mind will not let me walk away until I work out the numbers. He still has that trigger fairly firmly set. Time will tell.


  3. May be it would help if you traced what were those commands and what was happening in your life when you received them. There should be alters responsible for them and an organization behind them.


    1. Mark I have no idea how or when the control started. I feel it started shortly after we started seeing each other, I like many never thought that this was real and of course it would never happen to me I am to smart. I am not afraid of the answer. I just know it is true. I know the daily mental struggle as well.


      1. I know, it’s bothersome to say the least and I’m not even programmed. I’m trying to make sense out of these. They call you and show the other signs of control to show that they control your life. Also, with playing with numbers and events, they are trying to make it look like a natural and supernatural order.
        These calls usually should be giving commands that your programmed alters pick up without your awareness. The best is to avoid it and even have somebody who can keep an eye on you to prevent alters from enacting commands. That’s why dissociated parts should be found and integrated.
        Terry, this control starts when a person is born in the cult. As you probably know, parts of your mind are dissociated, simply split and given conditions. This is done to control the cult members and command them to make the occult way of life. It’s a long story of evil in human history and society.

        Speaking of early programming mentioned in the previous post, I learned that it should be child alters, themes of popular tales, movies and such and at the center of practically every system should be a tree of some sort being a structure upholding the rest of programming structures. So, to deprogram, you need to dismantle such a core of programming. Like I’m saying in my works, deprogramming is getting complete control over your mind. Also, we need complete control over our society to liquidate the cult and make a substantially good way of life.


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