How in the world did we learn how to love? We were raised with deceit and cruelty. The people who were supposed to cherish us were sadists. We had to bond to monsters, because that’s all there was to bond to. By all odds, we should be incapable of love because we have no idea what it is.
I asked one of my healing buddies how he explained it. He said, “I just looked at the fields and knew that there was more, and that it was wrong.” Somehow that little boy could see the beauty of the fields amid the ugliness of his upbringing and his heart went out to it. There must be an intrinsic capacity in children to love.
Of course, love goes against everything we were taught. It was seen as an act of rebellion and invited severe punishment. We learned to love in secret to protect both ourselves and the people and things we cherished. We didn’t stop loving, we just went underground with it.
When we got enough power to escape, we gained the opportunity to love openly. Of course we were afraid to love, afraid to let anybody know we cared. We had to fight against our well-learned fear with every ounce of our strength. But we did it and we continue doing it daily in continued defiance of the cult. The instinct is just too great to deny.