The spring equinox (fall equinox in the Southern hemisphere) is when the sun passes over the equator, so that days and nights are of equal length. This year it occurs March 20 at exactly 1:14 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time.

Across European cultures, the equinox is associated with spring, with the end of the dark days of winter and the sprouting of the seeds that will bring the fall harvests. Each culture, though, had its own slant on spring.

In Greece, Dionysos, son of Zeus, was the god of plants He showed men how to grow grapes and make wine; this was not entirely a benevolent gift, though. Drinking too much made people mad, crazed; they were taken over by Dionysos and lost their own personalities. (Sometimes they killed and even ate their own relatives when under the influence!)  All individuality and will power had to be given up to Dionysos, whenever he chose to take it.

In Rome, a ten-day rite in honor of Attis, son, or perhaps grandson, of the fertility goddess Cybele began on March 15th. Cybele fell in love with Attis and made him promise to be true to her, but he fell in love with a mortal. In a rage, she made him castrate himself underneath a pine tree. He bled to death, and from his drops of blood violets grew.

In this festival, his death was mourned for two days, then a pine tree (representing Attis) was chopped down, decorated with violets and placed in a tomb in the temple. Two days later, on the day after the equinox, the tomb was opened at dawn and the pine tree was gone. That meant that Cybele had brought Attis back to life. That day was known as Hilaria or the Day of Joy, a time of feasting and merriment.

Both Greek and Roman customs may have suggested abusive ways to mark the equinox.

In the United Kingdom, things didn’t seem quite so gory. We know from the megaliths (like Stonehenge) that people were aware of the equinoxes from ancient times. There are no traces of belief or rites from that time, so we do not know whether or not there were sacrifices.

The Celtic name for the equinox was Alban Eiler, which means “Life of the Earth.” It was a fertility holiday, marking the emergence of seedlings and the stirrings of desire. Cattle were taken out into the fields and led to brooks to drink the fresh spring water. Sometimes bonfires were lit and young people jumped over the ashes, believing it would make them fertile in the spring.

Cernunnos, the horned god or Green God, was a teenager at Alban Eiler; he was born on the winter solstice. Connected with the revivification of green vegetation, Cernunnos danced in the woods and fields, played his panpipes and sang to encourage the little plants. Later, on Beltane, he would lead the orgies on the woods.

The Saxons had a dawn goddess named Eostre. Her feast day was held on the first full moon after the spring equinox. This is similar to Easter, which falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon after March 20. Some believe Easter is derived from her name.

It is said that one winter day Eostre found an injured bird on the ground. To save its life, she changed it into a rabbit. But the transformation was not a complete one. The bird looked and acted like a rabbit, except it laid eggs like a bird. The rabbit would decorate these eggs and leave them as tokens of gratitude to Eostre. Rabbits are also an old Celtic fertility symbol, as are eggs.

I am sure they did nasty things when I was a child, but not much of this resonates with me. In the last few years, I have come to really love the equinox, knowing that the weather will get warmer and the days even longer. Some of the stuff that wintered over in my garden is starting to green up and soon I can start planting seeds. Who knows, maybe if I look hard enough  I will see a rabbit laying colored eggs!

The vast majority of survivors have witnessed animals being abused and many of us have been forced to abuse animals ourselves. The range of animals that are mistreated is very wide. Cats, dogs, chickens, and rabbits are cheap and easy to obtain. Certain animals have symbolic meaning: black cats, for example, are witches’ familiars, goats stand for the horned god or the devil, and white doves for purity. Children are sewn inside dead cows or deer for rebirthing rituals. Snakes, spiders, and worms are enclosed with children in coffins to terrify them. In some cults, piglets are sacrificed in certain rituals instead of human babies. The list goes on.

Things used in abusive situations have great emotional charge. Survivors are either terrified of them or fascinated: there seldom seems to be a middle ground, at least early in healing. One expects people to be afraid of spiders, insects, snakes, and worms in our culture, but some survivors are so super-afraid of them that they cannot tolerate seeing an image or hearing their names. I have also seen survivors shrink away in fear on seeing a dog or a cat. Some of us had pets that were abused or killed, and we soon learned not to get attached to them or to avoid them to shield ourselves from such acute pain.

On the other hand, many survivors are crazy about animals. How many of us wanted to become vets when we were children? Or breed dogs? All those little puppies to cuddle and train! It‘s like we want to make up for the suffering of animals in the cult by nurturing and protecting as many animals as possible, now that we can. As adults, we are involved with shelters, whether as volunteers, fund-raisers, or adopters. We bird-watch, carefully carry insects outdoors, and collect pictures of pandas.

Most wonderful of all is to have a pet. A pet which won’t get hurt by the cult and which will be loved and cherished throughout its life. It doesn’t undo what was done, but certainly nurturing an animal in the present is defiance: it goes against all they tried to teach us. And that is sweet.

I’ve had both dogs and cats. One dog was a German Shepard mix that was born on the street. When I got her, she was too young to stand up, but she chewed gum and drank Coke. I named her Hairy, since she was. She must have been hurt as a puppy because for seventeen long years she flinched every time I held out my hand. As soon as I touched her fur, she was fine. She was a real kooky dog, and I can tell hundreds of stories about her. Like the time she permanently traumatized the postman by climbing out on the roof and barking at him. Guess he expected her to leap down on him. Weird as she was, she was my Hairy, and after she died I cried every time I found another clump of her hair behind a piece of furniture.

That‘s the downside of loving a pet. You will probably out-live them and then there will always be a hole in your heart.

One of my current cats is a purebred, a Cornish Rex. He came from the breeder with filthy ears, a parasite that affected his (ahem) digestion, and a bad case of ringworm. Now he is sleek and healthy and has forgiven me for all the atrocious things I had to do to him to make him well. He sleeps under the covers with me and warms me with his purrs.

Both these pets had a bad start in life. Both had wonderful lives afterwards. As I said, it is sweet.

Survivorship Notes, Vol. 9 No 7/8 July/August 2007

Brigit, being the goddess of fertility, was especially important to brides or would-be brides. Young girls would make straw beds for Brigit near the hearth and leave milk and cookies for her, in the hopes that she would visit for a while and bless them with fertility in the spring. The association with fertility seems to have been incorporated into Valentine’s Day, rather than into Candlemas.

Imbolc was a fire festival, celebrated with hilltop bonfires. It was also the day when people stopped using candles indoors because the days were getting longer. The fields were purified and blessed with candlelight processions, Yuletide greens were burned, and people cleaned and purified their homes. This custom lingers on as “spring cleaning.”

Brigit was transformed into the Christian St. Brigit, who supposedly was converted from Druidism by St. Patrick. She remained associated with miracles and fertility.

So how did Imbolc evolve into Candle Mass, the Christian feast of purification?

February 2 is exactly forty days after Christ’s birth on December 25. That was the time that Mary went to the Temple for the traditional purification bath after giving birth. She presented the baby Jesus at the temple, and Luke describes a meeting with an old man, Simeon, who called Jesus “a light to enlighten the Gentiles.” By the middle of the fifth century, candles were lit on this day to symbolize that Jesus Christ was the light, the truth, and the way.

Altar candles for the whole year were blessed at Candlemas. Candles distributed after the service were taken home and kept, as they were believed to have healing and protective powers.

And Groundhog Day? Imbolc was an auspicious day to forecast weather. If the day was cloudy and wintry, then winter was exhausting itself and spring could begin. The Celtic forerunners of the American groundhog were hibernating English hedgehogs.

Intrinsically, Imbolc/Candlemas is a lovely holiday. New beginnings, healing, baby lambs, light, purity, snowdrops, and crocuses. Like so many wonderful days, it was stolen by the cults, defiled, and perverted. Maybe we can remember what it was originally and reclaim a little bit of the day for ourselves.

from Survivorship Notes, Vol.2, No 1, January, 2000.